Happiest of Holidays

This year the house has remained a bit dirtier than usual. The carpets often have bits of fuzz or lint dotting the 20 year old fibers. When looking at our dresser at just the right angle, you can see a thorough, delicate coating of dust. The windows need washing and the basement is a constant American Girl disaster zone.

The cleanliness of our house is perhaps a testament to the busyness of our lives, but more accurately, I believe it is a reflection of our shift in priorities. This year, more than any other, we have made a conscious effort to take care of ourselves and of each other.

We've had a great year, with lots of career accomplishments and the girls' continual growth in every part of their lives. And yet, I am most proud that our little unit keeps working to communicate and encourage each other. There are days when we aren't successful and it's a constant process: learning how to best love each other. But hopefully how we treat each other as a family will translate to our relationships outside the home and maybe those interactions will be the spark that encourages others to extend grace to those around them.

We head into the new year, with the same resolution: showing kindness to all in what we say and do. May 2018 bring you peace and love. And, if you don't mind a little extra dust, there's always a bed and a hot cup of coffee for you here in Wichita.

Holiday musings

It's a season of anticipation. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, the last day of Advent. The shopping and decorating and wrapping and baking and waiting will finally come to an end.

My household is currently anticipating a passing of the marble Ruby swallowed yesterday.

I came home from the gym to a somber and anxious husband and a surprisingly quiet youngest daughter. Ruby and Maia had been playing upstairs, when Ruby came down and told Aleks that she had swallowed a marble. It was stuck in her throat, but she could breathe. Aleks tried to give her the Heimlich, but by then it had made its way down her esophagus into her stomach. It was very traumatic for everyone, but by the time I got home, the scary part was over. When I asked Ruby why she did that, her answer was that she wanted to see what it would be like to eat a marble. "But I didn't chew it," she was quick to tell me.

So as I said, we're currently awaiting the passing of said marble, amidst a few stomach pangs. I'm convinced all the hype over Christmas has affected the impulsivity of my children, which has caused Aleks and I to revisit the intensity of our active parenting.

There's something about the twinkly lights, Bing Crosby's Christmas Song, and the schedule-induced fatigue that makes me more reflective than usual. There's also the conclusion of the calendar year and the promise of new beginnings on the horizon.

The other day I was driving home from seeing Aleks at work and had made a quick stop at a local bakery to pick up bread for dinner. My kids were at school surrounded by friends, both in classes with teachers who are nurturing and kind. I had just exchanged texts with a friend about our weekly tap class and was heading to a workout at my CrossFit gym. Later that day I would teach an afternoon of lessons. Suddenly a feeling of peace washed over me. In that moment, I truly did not hate Wichita.

Six months ago I was a different person: sad, discouraged, empty. It turns out that quitting my job was perhaps the healthiest thing I've ever done for myself. Since then, I've been on a journey to discover what fills me as a person. I've found there are things I enjoy outside of my work and have discovered that I have an identity beyond my career, children, and husband. I've had to really think about what kind of artist I want to be and have adjusted my approach to interpersonal relationships. As a result, my marriage is back on track, I am present for my children, I am able to enjoy making music, among so many other things.

As usual, this year has been full and busy for our family. Highlights include:

We had a pergola installed over our deck, did a kitchen update, and finished painting about 60% of our home's interior.

I almost died.

A three week trip to CA and UT to visit both sides of our families.

I visited Washington DC for the first time.

I quit my job.

Ruby started all day kindergarten.

I co-founded a non-profit arts organization called Music On Site.

Aleks and I took a trip to NYC for a premier of a new piano piece he wrote.

It's been a challenging year for many people around the world, but also for our little family. I am eternally grateful to be partnered with a human who is willing to be uncomfortable and allow that discomfort to be an impetus for change. To be so completely supported in all my imperfection is something I will never take for granted.

From our little corner of this globe, we wish you and yours a happy, healthy, and joyful holiday season. And I'll leave you with this inspirational quote from my daughter Maia.

(Yeah, I went there. I apparently have the humor of a 12 year old boy.)

Resolutions

I'm not typically a fan of New Year Resolutions. There's something that seems insincere about everyone, on the same day, resolving to change things about themselves. It's like we only do it because we're supposed to, not because we actually desire the change and are willing put in the hard work to get there.

That being said, this year I'm feeling the itch for change. And I think it's good to set goals and say things out loud, into the universe, so that we can be ready for whatever comes. And because I'm a bossy oldest child, I'm going to make my family participate as well. 

I'll start. 

This next year I want to be more purposeful in the things I do, which involves setting attainable, specific goals in all areas of my life while searching for the "why" that fuels everything I do. 

Aleks says he wants to finish the Louisville Ironman and to be more romantic. 

My mom wants to do the things she thinks are important, not the things she thinks other people think are important. 

Maia's is to stay healthy. 

Ruby wants to be with Campbell more (my brother Alex's dog).

My dad's New Year goal is to plan, enjoy, and remember a three week vacation. He's never taken that much time off before!

Matt wants to weigh less, own less, and want less. 

Audrey wants to play with toys. 

Cydney has 12 books she wants to read. 

Kodiak wants to gain some weight, sit up, crawl, eat solids, and learn to say a few words. He's already a man with ambition. 

Theo made some pirate and pirate ship sounds. 

 Happy New Year dear friends!

 

Christmas/New Year's Photo Dump

Good thing my New Year resolution wasn't to blog more. Sheesh.

Christmas and the week following were busy and full of fun and lots and lots of play. My girls have played so hard these past two weeks. They are now back to school and happy to go, but break was pretty wonderful for all of us.

Here are some highlights from our holiday.

It doesn't get much better than a kindergarten/mug shot Christmas ornament. She's now serving 5-10 for eating too many Christmas cookies.

Our church had a sweet little Christmas Eve family service. The girls were so pretty in their Christmas dresses and could barely contain themselves on the drive home due to excitement over all the twinkly lights on houses we passed.

Right before bed on Christmas Eve.
Sugar and spice.

We had Kringle on the eve of Christmas Eve, so for Christmas morning I made cinnamon rolls. With chocolate chips of course.

A new puppet stage with puppets was a huge hit.

As were the "real" microphones. 

Aleks and I didn't really think that one through.

And apparently my kids were good this year because Santa brought them what they asked for. A seascope for Maia and a mermaid tail for Ruby.

For New Year's Eve my parents were here and Aleks and I made beef wellington for the first time.

We definitely started off 2015 with full stomachs. And stayed awake until 11:00! Maybe next year we'll even make it to midnight.

So far the new year has been cold. However, we've been keeping warm and busy as we gear up for the next semester. There are some exciting things happening, which I'll share in the near future. (No babies.)

In the meantime, stay warm and cuddle up with the ones you love.

Love is born tonight

Here we are. Christmas Eve. The last advent door opened and chocolate eaten. Presents wrapped and hiding behind locked doors until little eyelids get heavy enough to stay shut a few hours. The fridge is packed with delicious foods waiting to be sautéed, roasted, and served on pretty platters. All the waiting ends tonight.

This year I have a church gig as a pianist. I've patiently waited to pull out the Christmas carols and hymns (can I just say we need more good advent music!?). Finally tonight I can share so many treasures we only get to hear a few weeks each year.

Tonight at the family service, I sang an arrangement of Some Children See Him, which was written by my mom. I had asked her to write it for me around the time I was pregnant with Maia. When I tried to sing it through the first time, I couldn't finish because of the lump in my throat and tears brimming in my eyes. My extended family laughed along with me at "those pregnancy hormones." And yet, here I am 6 years later, still barely able to make it through.

The lyrics and setting resonate strongly with me.

I hesitate to share the recording I made yesterday. It's not perfect and this type-A lady likes things to be perfect. But, a colleague of mine once said "perfection is not ours to have" (yeah, I'll just let you think about that for a minute... it should be cross stitched on a pillow!) and it's a really beautiful arrangement of a song that I think speaks truth.

(Ruby was my recording engineer for this one)




Some children see Him lily white, the baby Jesus born this night,
Some children see Him lily white, with tresses soft and fair.
Some children seen Him bronzed and brown, the Lord of Heaven to earth come down;
Some children see Him bronzed and brown, with dark and heavy hair.

Some children see Him almond-eyed, this Savior whom we kneel beside,
Some children see Him almond-eyed, with skin of yellow hue.
Some children see Him dark as they, sweet Mary's Son to whom we pray
Some children seen Him dark as they,
And, ah! they love Him too!

The children in each diff'rent place 
Will see the baby Jesus' face like theirs, 
But bright with heav'nly grace,
And filled with holy light.
O lay aside each earthly thing,
And with thy heart as offering,
Come worship now the Infant King,
'Tis love that's born tonight.

And there it is. Love.

I've got issues with the church and religion.

But love? That's something I can unequivocally get behind. What other reason is there to be kind, or put one foot in front of the other, or be selfless, but love? How wonderful, that tonight especially, we get to celebrate the birth of love with songs and candles and cookies and family.

Into my Facebook feed tonight came this "How can one hear this story of the beginning of our salvation and not be reduced to tears? Deo gratias...."

I too am reduced to tears at the extravagance and largeness of love. The hope that it brings. The purpose it provides.

Merry Christmas dear friends. May love touch your heart this season.

An ICT Christmas; 2013

Christmas has come and gone, but I'm still basking in the warmth of visiting family.

On Christmas Eve we snuck my niece Audrey into Maia's bed.

Meanwhile, Cydney and I got the Christmas presents under the tree.

Cydney's family always had the presents from Santa unwrapped and sitting under the tree, which is new to us, but a fabulous idea, in my opinion.

My girls are big on tradition.

Meaning they like to get up early, before the sun, every day.

It's their favorite tradition, in fact.

It is not his favorite.

Or his.

Or his.

But despite the early hour, there was lots of present opening and happy children.

'

And once the sun came up, there was some napping,

and playing,

and reading,

and more napping,

and some music making.

In these days between Christmas and the New Year, we are soaking up family that is usually so far away, now near and in hugging range.

"Audrey, I love you. I wish you lived here forever."

Taking music lessons from a seasoned pro.

Family is good.

It puts everything else into perspective.

We hope you had a wonderful holiday.

White Christmas

It snowed yesterday.

The girls have been begging to play outside ever since they saw the first flakes fall.

Since I needed a winter blog header, I gave in and let them out today.

Also, their cousins are in town!

Aleks lasted about 5 minutes.

Ruby's snowballs were too much to handle.

Theo wasn't too impressed with it all.

Maybe it'll stick around and we'll have a white Christmas!