The Ides of April?

It’s that time of year. Maia’s backpack is breaking. Sometimes the zipper misses teeth when closed and she gets off the bus with large Harry Potter books dangling precariously from her back.

Ruby’s sneakers (which we bought in late winter) have holes and I’ve replaced the laces, trying to delay buying new ones right before flip flop season. Also her pant collection is dwindling. We’ve had to throw away several pairs due to large holes in the knees and some have just gotten too small. And because she is extremely opinionated about how clothes feel and fit her body, I think she's worn the same pair of pants to school 3 days in a row.

The house is in desperate need of cleaning. I keep doing spots here and there in areas that my students and company might see. But in reality, everything is just on the verge of total disarray.

May is so close. I think I can, I think I can...

The girls are tired too. I’ve tried to figure out some summer camps they might enjoy, but they are so burned out, I keep getting “Nah.” I think we all just want to stay in our pajamas until we’re ready to go to the pool.

And my students. Oh man, they're a mess. Prom might just have been the tipping point. 

This season has been challenging, as happens now and again. With the onset of exciting opportunities, inevitably so comes insecurity as change looms on the horizon.

And yet, in the midst of stress and feeling overwhelmed, moments of gratitude make themselves known.

A toothless 6 year old who demonstrates increasing maturity almost daily.

My cartwheeling 8 year old whom, after showing off her cartwheels, tells people that she is “self-taught.”

My darling husband who said to me, “Man, I just feel like you’re constantly doing things to make my life easier.”

The successes of my students including; show contracts, acceptations into BFA college programs at respected universities, cruise ship contracts, award nominations, and many more accolades.

And personally, I have some really exciting projects and performances happening in my life, one of which will require help from you! I’ll share the details soon.

One of my students, who is a freshman in high school, said "Is the hardest thing about growing up, figuring out who you are?"

Why yes. I think it just might be.

And so, I continue marching toward May, head held high, while dragging my exhausted body, chaotic house, and precocious children behind me, hoping to see my husband one of these days.

And as always, trying to put grace before ego.

My eight year old

My oldest child is now 8.

It's actually a scientific mystery. We should be studied and written about in the top medical journals.

You see, my daughter keeps getting older, but I've stayed the same age since she was born.

Weird, right?

Maia is at that tender age where she is flirting with maturity and self-realization, yet still demonstrates bits of that beautiful oblivion childhood offers.

It's hard to remember what a difficult baby she was for the first 9 months of her life because now Maia is wonderfully pleasant and easy going.

A few weeks ago at dinner Maia asked, "What if Ruby and I were the first scientists in the family?" Aleks and I exchanged looks and I exclaimed, "That would be wonderful! What do I need to do to help facilitate that?"

Maia shows intellectual curiosity, while demonstrating a strong moral and social ethic. She loves to read and often gets distracted from tasks by the book in hand. Much of her personality is like her father, but she gets the reading gene from me.

Maia is also still very creative. She can often be heard singing around the house, either songs from the radio or ones she's written herself. The other day she told us the title of her album: "A little kid, inspired by." She is still playing piano and I think she enjoys it. At any rate, she tolerates it with a co-operative attitude.

Maia is a wonderful friend and sister. Her relationship with Ruby is constantly evolving. Those two girls are different as can be, but I'm grateful that they have each other and can learn different communication styles. I see Maia developing a more of a backbone as she stands up to Ruby not infrequently. This, of course, cause some strife in the household, but with patient parenting we can usually help the girls resolve their conflicts.

Maia is playing basketball and finally seems to have found a sport that she's excited about. While athletics are not innately easy for her, Maia does not give up and is constantly improving.

My darling girl is such a steady force in our family. Her dependability balances out the eccentricities of her sister and the sometimes high stress schedules of her parents. Life without Maia would be a life without the sun.

I'm so grateful that not only do I love her, but I really like my darling firstborn.

Happy 8th birthday, dearest one.