Twelve!

It's that time of year again; the streets in our neighborhood are packed with cars of students at the university finding free parking. The start of school usually means cool mornings and warm days. The kids come through the door, sweaty from the bus and walk home.

The beginning of the school year also means Ruby's birthday. It's a month filled with promise and possibilities. 

Ruby's birth was a quick affair, a planned cesarean, in which so many things went wrong. The anesthesiologist had a hard time getting my spinal in; he kept hitting nerve endings, making me jump. When he finally got it in the correct spot, the epidural hit and my blood pressure dropped quickly; I threw up and almost passed out. Then, during the surgery, it was discovered that a large group of veins had formed under my previous c-section scar and when the doctor went to cut Ruby out, I started bleeding. A lot. They had to pull Ruby out very quickly and work to get the bleeding under control. As a result, Ruby had a hard time breathing on her own and spent the first 8 hours of her life hooked up to oxygen in the nursery. Of course, I couldn't walk to go see her in the nursery, due to the epidural, so had to rely on stories and pictures from Aleks.

Needless to say, when they finally brought her to my room, I cuddled Ruby on my chest and we remained that way until discahrged. That time in the hospital was dreamy. I had a sweet, sleepy newborn on my chest, nurses to bring me food, no dishes or laundry to do, and my toddler at home was being cared for.

It took Ruby two and a half years to find her voice. After a colicky first born, I thought I had hit the jackpot with a baby that actually didn't cry all the time. Joke was on me; she was just biding her time. We had a tough couple of years figuring each other out, but eventually got there and learned how to communicate effectively.

The thing is, Ruby just feels everything deeply. And when she's feeling something, she wants you to feel that way too. Ruby has taught me that I can't help people unless they want to be helped. She reminds me that even though responsible, mature people can handle a lot, it doesn't mean they should be expected to. 

Today Ruby turns 12. She got curtain bangs before school started and is wearing jeans instead of leggings. She is playing cello in the 6th grade orchestra and continues to play piano. She is passionate and kind. Responsible and disciplined. Funny and smart. To know Ruby is to love her.

Happy birthday dearest girl! The world is a brighter place because of you.

Thirteen!

A few month ago we were all in the car and Maia said "Mom, explain to Ruby what 69 means."

Taken aback, Aleks and I looked at each other and said "wait, do you know what it means?"

Maia said, "Yeah! Well, no, I mean, I know it's a funny number like 420."

I think that probably sums up the 7th grade pretty well.

   

When I was pregnant with Maia I remember thinking, "I just hope she isn't boring." Well, we have been everything but bored for the past 12 years.

Today my oldest becomes an official teenager, that coveted age for most girls, 13. I feel like we've entered a time warp; the next 5 years are going to fly by.

We have asked a lot of Maia this year. It's been challenging for everyone. Her stable and predictable life was upended right in the middle of a physically and emotionally tumultuous time.

Throughout all the change, Maia's humor and steadfastness has remained in tact. It's been an honor to watch her grow and navigate all that comes her way.

 

My darling girl has an unyielding sense of justice. She is a fiercly loyal friend and sister (unless you enter her room without asking for permission). Maia continues to be a voracious reader and takes at least 2 books to school with her each day. She has a quirky sense of humor and is learning comedic timing.

We just love this kid of ours. If you know her, you probably do, too.

Happy 13th birthday Maia! 

Eleven!

This year, I finally learned the lesson that Ruby has been trying to teach me her whole life. 

It's ok for her to feel all her feelings.

I think it took me 11 years to learn this lesson because the intensity of Ruby's feelings is quite powerful. It goes against all instinct to allow her fire to burn without trying to put it out.

Once I stopped looking at the fire and instead, into the source, I see that the fire hasn't consumed her. In fact, it's refining her into an amazing young woman.

This has been a big year for her, for us all. COVID, a big move, new everything. I'm humbled by her maturity and ability to be uncomfortable. Granted, she's not always quiet about the discomfort, but she doesn't run away from it.

Happy 11th birthday, my darling. 

I love getting to know you better and better each year.

Twelve!

One year ago we planned a birthday party for Maia, including an escape room at the public library. It was the first birthday party we'd hosted for several years and everyone was excited. And then, in the middle of March, the nation closed down and we scrambled to make her celebration special in a new way.

True to character, Maia was disappointed, but rebounded quickly. Her sunny disposition has been extraordinary during this trying year. When the kids' school went remote, I never had to worry about her making it to virtual class and staying on top of her work.

This year, when Aleks and I went to work full time, Maia handled her first year of middle school during this pandemic with astonishing maturity and responsibility. Every other day she was home alone, logging into each of her classes on zoom, managing the different digital platforms, and navigating the elevated expectations that come with middle school.

She has made a new, sweet friends and we're so grateful she has found her people. Middle school is such a crazy, intense time.

As Maia enters this next year of life, we are constantly delighted by her curiosity, strong feminine ideals, quirky personality, and willingness to help our family in any way she can.

Maia is as strong as she is soft. Serious and silly. Loves parties and friends, yet is an introvert.

Happy 12th birthday Maia! 

Those challenging first 9 months of your life were totally worth it. 

This world is a better place because you are in it. 

We love you.

Double Digits!

Sweet and spicy Ruby is now 10. 

Double digits. 

"A tween," she told me.

She continues to amaze me with her musicianship in everything she does; playing the piano, singing, dancing.

Despite being bit by a dog this year and getting 5 stiches, she still loves them and sleeps with our dog, Isabelle, every night.

Ruby has an amazing sense of style and has firm opinions about what she, and the rest of the family, wears. I can always count on her for honest feedback.

Ruby also has a great sense of humor. 

She did us all proud at the school spelling bee. I was a nervous wreck and I can imagine how she must have felt, but Ruby worked through those nerves and did so well. (The cat ears probably helped.)

Ruby, you are so special. I love getting to know you better each year and watch you grow into an amazing  young lady. Your kind heart, passionate opinions, and deep feelings are your super powers.

Happy birthday Ruby Ann!

P.S. Here's what we did during quarentine, when being home felt new and exciting and we were ready to be creative. You might have already seen this, but it's worth another view!

Turning 11 in 2020 is a mood

Today Maia is 11.

She's been excited for a whole year because finally, her birthday is on a Saturday. Little did we know that the entire world would be shut down this year. In typical optimistic Maia fashion, she's found something to be happy about; she can sleep in on her birthday!

This firstborn of mine is such a gift to our family. She is easy going, quick to adapt to disappointment, and has the strongest moral compass of anyone I know.

She loves school, the library, and books with an astonishing fierceness.

She HATES being teased and views it as a personal affront.

Maia is excited for middle school next year and I think she's going to thrive. Although, this kid thrives anywhere you put her. Online learning? No problem! Libraries closed? (Ok, that one caused tears) She'll make do with the digital library!

Each passing day I see glimpses of the young woman Maia will be, and yet she hasn't quite crossed that border; one foot is still firmly planted in childhood.

I can't wait to see what this year will bring for my girl. Whatever it is, I know Maia will handle it with kindness, optimism, and humor.

Happy birthday, my sweet girl!

Nine is fine!

Ruby Ann was born at 10:25am after a planned c section. She wasn't getting enough oxygen and so stayed in the nursery with tubes in her nose for the first 8 hours of her life. They finally brought her to me that evening where she slept on my chest for the rest of our hospital stay.

She was an easy baby (compared to her sister who screamed at us non-stop for 8 months) and cut her first tooth at 17 months!

At 2 1/2 she realized the full potential of her power and decided to wage war with her parents on all matters related to sleeping and getting her way. 4 1/2 came and our sweet girl was returned. Her power remained undiminished, but she now had a greater understanding of self control and increased communication skills.

She continues to be sensitive and intuitive, feeling the emotions of those around her. She is opinionated about everything and is learning to handle disappointment in a healthy way. 

Things Ruby loves:

food

physical activity (she's good at almost anything she tries)

drinking coffee

fashion

doing "grownup things"

her dog

Things Ruby does and is great at, but sometimes feel like "work" to her:

piano

soccer

reading

A friend once told me that some children are like wildflowers and some are like orchids. Wildflowers thrive almost anywhere with very little tending while orchids have a reputation for being difficult to grow.

Ruby is my orchid. And here's the thing: orchid care isn't difficult, it's just different. And what a beautiful flower we have growing in our family.

Happiest of birthdays to you Ruby Ann. We love you.

Double Digits!

10 years ago today a very loud, dark haired baby made me a mom. 

It took 2 inductions (neither of which worked) and a c-section to get her into the world. If I had known that she would scream at me for the next 8 months, I would not have complained about her lateness.

It's so strange to remember what a difficult baby she was in the beginning. Everyone would tell me to feed her more, or co-sleep, or sleep train, or give her a bottle, or just let her nurse all day long. They didn't understand that she a) didn't sleep and b) she liked to scream. Some call it colic. Whatever it was, it wasn't fun.

But then, she said her first word at 6 months; pointed at the duck on Aleks' shirt and said "duck." 

And weaned herself at eight months (oh, hello Ruby). 

And then we had another baby in the house (one that actually slept and behaved like a normal newborn) and Maia was a non-stop chatter bug, having given up the screams for an extensive vocabulary.

Ten years ago.

Man, how is it that I'm still 27 and have a 10 year old?

(ok, maybe she did sleep a little bit)

Obviously, I don't know differently, but that challenging beginning as a parent, that baptism by fire, was probably just what I needed. A full immersion experience/life is turned upside down/you'll function on 4 hours of sleep a night for 8 months/nothing like what you expected start to parenthood.

Oh, but the young lady my daughter is becomming- it's a beautiful thing to watch.

My 10 year old girl still talks up a storm. She is constantly using words she's read in books, but doesn't quite know how to pronounce. And speaking of books, she told me she's read all the books in her school's library.

She is weird, in the best possible way. 

Earnest and ethical.

Kind. Thoughtful. Has a great sense of humor.

She experiences life with all her senses. Her room looks like a bomb went off and yet she knows where each earring back/rock/bookmark is located.

She brings light to our family.

Happy birthday, my dearest. Those first 8 months were so worth it.

Eight Years Old

She now takes her own shower, followed by a blow dry and straight iron session.

When I wore a fashionably questionable pair of pants, at which both Aleks and Maia wrinkled their noses, Ruby's opinion was the one that convinced me to put them in the give away pile.

The other morning Ruby was particularly tired and asked me for a cup of coffee.

She makes a lot of her own food now: hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, slices cheese for cheese and crackers.

She sleeps with a weighted blanket and wears noise canceling headphones.

She loves Isabelle more than anything and just wants to cuddle and hug that poor dog all day long.

She's a girl with big emotions; as quick to laugh and hug as she is to be impatient and snap. When she wants, she is good at understanding the emotions of others and tending to their needs.

Ages 2 1/2 to 4 1/2 were dicey, at best. But, my oh my, what a delight and joy this girl is to our family and all those who know her.

I suspect we'll always need to encourage her to find ways to manage her anxiety and sensitivity, but watching her continue to grow and mature is an exciting privilege.

Seven was magical. I'm so excited to see what eight will bring.

Maia is 9!

I walked to baggage claim yesterday, having finally arrived home after 2 1/2 weeks on the road, and there was my gorgeous family waiting with rib crushing hugs.

To my astonishment, it looked like Maia had grown 2 inches since I last saw her. Her blonde head is almost above my shoulder now, and at this point, she's all legs.

And today, my darling first born is 9.

Let me tell you about my girl Maia.

She is wonderfully quirky. Her vocabulary is extensive and well beyond her years. Yesterday she was talking about picking up donuts before school and said "we should probably set off around 7:30." Earlier this week she was complaining about practicing the same pieces over and over, she told Aleks "I'm just trying to be a faithful daughter!"

Her teachers and others have told me that talking to her is like talking to an adult.

I know her vocabulary comes from her love of reading. This girl almost always has her nose in a book. Sometimes she'll bring a book to the school lunch room, in case she gets bored. Most recently she been into Wings of Fire, a series about dragons.

And while her vocabulary indicates an older mind, she is still very young emotionally. She is well liked by all her classmates, but doesn't seem to have very many close friends. And honestly, it's probably because she reads so much. She spends more time reading than interacting with classmates.

But I'm not worried. I think she'll continue to figure it all out.

This year, more than ever, I see the transition from girl to young woman looming on the horizon. Maia has started testing out some sassiness and eye rolling. Mostly, we find it entertaining, Maia included. I suppose I'll have to address her attitude if it gets worse, but for now, I appreciate her exploration and emerging independence.

Some of Maia's likes:
Books, dragons, Harry Potter, pancakes (yes, still), laughing, swimming, gymnastics, her sister (most of the time), and purses/accessories.

Some of Maia's dislikes:
Blood, most foods (including pizza and mac and cheese), and wearing a jacket to school. Honestly, she's a pretty easy kid.

Maia is hugely empathetic and kind. For now she says she wants to be a scientist and help preserve plants and animals. I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up doing that! I could also see her doing some kind of social justice work or as a civil servant.

It's a privilege to be her mom and be a part of her journey.

Happy Birthday, sweet girl.

Ruby Ann is SEVEN

Soon after being born, Ruby was held in the nursery and put on supplemental oxygen. Aleks would bounce between my room and the nursery, taking pictures and videos of Ruby to assure me she was doing ok. Other than a failed attempt at feeding while I was in recovery, it wasn't until 8 hours after the birth that I got to hold my girl Ruby.

I remember my doctor checking on me at one point in the afternoon and asking "Are you crying?" as I tried to mask the tears falling down my cheeks while he checked my blood pressure. I responded "I just want to hold my baby."

It wasn't long after, that a nurse came in and told me that she had been instructed to only to keep Ruby in the nursery until dinner time. After that, she was to be with me.

When I was in the hospital with Maia, I couldn't wait to go home. With Ruby it was different.

I knew as soon as I left there would be 2 little babies who needed me (Maia was 17 months). The hospital room service, nurses, and cleaning staff was such a luxury. It felt like a honeymoon. I think I slept with Ruby on my chest the entire stay.

 It was also Aleks' goatee phase...

Thankfully Ruby took it easy on us in the beginning. She slept well and nursed well and allowed us to figure out how to keep two little girls fed, dressed, and clean.

Every year, Ruby's personality blooms just a bit more, slowly showing us the kind of human she's becoming.

Ruby will always be my #1 taste tester. Quick to sense when there's a bowl to be cleaned or a beater that needs to be licked.

Ruby has an amazing sense of style. Perhaps the best way to describe it is boho-old lady patterns-pictures of animals-sassy/urban. She cares very much about her hair and already feels angst about having curly/wavy hair.

Ruby is one of the oldest kids in her class, which means she spent one year longer at home before heading off to kindergarten. Just two years ago, we were together all the time. The transition to kindergarten was hard, but now, I see an independence and confidence in Ruby that assures me she's doing just fine.

She and I have been through some tough times. Ages 2 1/2 to 5 1/2 were particularly challenging. However, Ruby and I are quite alike. I understood, more than anyone might guess, her emotional outbursts and angry door slamming. How gratifying it would be to give in to our emotions like that. It must feel good.

Because of Ruby, my well of patience has exponentially increased. Just when I'd think there isn't one more drop from which to pull, magically, I'd find my reserves had doubled. For that, I'm grateful.

Ruby didn't get her first tooth until she was 17 months old. Now they're beginning to fall out and her face has begun to transform and any signs of the toddler she once was are fading.

There are so many things I love about my second born: her humor, natural athleticism, her strong will, empathy, and so many others.

But, the thing I admire most about my seven year old, is her willingness to keep working at things that are hard. Often Ruby will try something new and struggle. And while I'm ready to give up, she'll keep plugging away, undiscouraged, and soon enough, becomes quite proficient.

I can't take credit for instilling that quality, I believe it's just an innate Ruby characteristic. And I'm so very grateful, because I have no doubt this little firecracker is going to make a positive impact on this world.

Happy birthday, my dearest.

My eight year old

My oldest child is now 8.

It's actually a scientific mystery. We should be studied and written about in the top medical journals.

You see, my daughter keeps getting older, but I've stayed the same age since she was born.

Weird, right?

Maia is at that tender age where she is flirting with maturity and self-realization, yet still demonstrates bits of that beautiful oblivion childhood offers.

It's hard to remember what a difficult baby she was for the first 9 months of her life because now Maia is wonderfully pleasant and easy going.

A few weeks ago at dinner Maia asked, "What if Ruby and I were the first scientists in the family?" Aleks and I exchanged looks and I exclaimed, "That would be wonderful! What do I need to do to help facilitate that?"

Maia shows intellectual curiosity, while demonstrating a strong moral and social ethic. She loves to read and often gets distracted from tasks by the book in hand. Much of her personality is like her father, but she gets the reading gene from me.

Maia is also still very creative. She can often be heard singing around the house, either songs from the radio or ones she's written herself. The other day she told us the title of her album: "A little kid, inspired by." She is still playing piano and I think she enjoys it. At any rate, she tolerates it with a co-operative attitude.

Maia is a wonderful friend and sister. Her relationship with Ruby is constantly evolving. Those two girls are different as can be, but I'm grateful that they have each other and can learn different communication styles. I see Maia developing a more of a backbone as she stands up to Ruby not infrequently. This, of course, cause some strife in the household, but with patient parenting we can usually help the girls resolve their conflicts.

Maia is playing basketball and finally seems to have found a sport that she's excited about. While athletics are not innately easy for her, Maia does not give up and is constantly improving.

My darling girl is such a steady force in our family. Her dependability balances out the eccentricities of her sister and the sometimes high stress schedules of her parents. Life without Maia would be a life without the sun.

I'm so grateful that not only do I love her, but I really like my darling firstborn.

Happy 8th birthday, dearest one.

Six.

My little girl is 6 today.

My unplanned peanut, who has made her undisputed claim in our family and completed us in the most perfect way.

Ruby continues to be incredibly intuitive, mature, sensitive, and determined. Far and away, the best word to describe my second born is powerful. 

(Credit for this word goes to my cousin who gave it to me this summer)

Ruby loves to play piano and amazes me with her ability to focus during practice and lessons.

Ruby is the uncontested champion of staring contests. She likes to catch us unaware with "Staring Contest! 1-2-3 Go!" Maia and I don't even try to beat her anymore.

She can burp like a 13 year old boy, with resonance that would make any opera singer jealous. She likes to make her sister laugh and often is our cross-eyed jester.

Ruby favors her father in looks, but on the inside? She's all mine. We understand each other easily and know how to push each other's buttons.

I can't wait to see where this peanut directs her power in the coming years. Whatever it is, it's going to be fun to watch.

Happy birthday my sweet Roo.