Scary

Yesterday morning my blood platelet count was 1,000. For those of you who, like me before this week, have no idea what that means, I'll tell you this. Anything below 50,000 causes concern. What a 1,000 platelet count looks like is red dots all over the body, burst capillaries below the skin. Bruises that seem to come from no where. A mouth filled with blood blisters on the tongue, gums, and cheeks. Bleeding gums. Bloody nose.

The platelets are the part of the blood that help to create clots. They are yellowish and syrupy when taken away from the rest of the blood. I know this because I had a unit of them put into my body yesterday. When your platelets are low, your blood doesn't coagulate. With a platelet count as low as mine was, any cut could turn into a life threatening situation. A bump to the head with bleeding in the brain would mean death.

It all sounds quite dramatic and I haven't really let myself think about it until just now. I'm overwhelmed with a sense of what might have been and how lucky I am.

Sunday night I had a nose bleed that would quite stop. It wasn't gushing, but every time I blew my nose there was bright red blood on the tissue. Looking back, I remember one point in which I woke up feeling the blood trickling out my nose and jumping up to wipe it away before it could get on the sheets. I woke up Monday feeling sick to my stomach from all the blood I had ingested through post nasal drip. I felt as if I was bleeding out.

At my family doctor that morning they drew blood and told me to take it easy. We didn't know yet how low my count actually was. You know it's not good news when the doctor calls you the next morning at 7:20 as she's waking her children for school. They sent me that morning (Tuesday) to a hematologist who is also an oncologist and the appointment was in the cancer center. The journey I've been on these past few days has changed me. The work of caring for the sick is never finished. I don't know how health care professionals aren't swallowed whole by enormity of it all.

My low platelet count was triggered by an adverse reaction to an antibiotic (a sulpha) I was taking for an infected finger. The hematologist said they see one case like mine a year. He sent me across the parking lot to the hospital to get a unit of platelets. I had received the whole bag and was leaving the infusion center when my eye started to feel funny. I used the restroom before heading to my car and when I looked in the mirror I saw that my eyeballs were red and swollen, as if they had water blisters covering them. I immediately walked back to the infusion center and asked if it was normal to react like that. They promptly placed me in a wheelchair and wheeled me to the ER. I was having an allergic reaction to the proteins in the platelets. It happens 30% of the time.

Once in the ER they gave me Benadryl and steroids through my IV, which the infusion center had kindly left in my arm. Because of the low count, anytime my blood has been drawn, it's left a huge bruise. I will be getting platelet counts everyday this week and the infusion center asked the hematologist if they could just leave it in, since it's able to draw. So, I have a closed IV stuck in my arm for the next few days, but at least I'm spared getting stuck and bruised over and over.

Once they had administered the drugs they just monitored me for about an hour and let me go. Before I left, they told me that my count was 8,000.

This morning I had a count done and praise be, it was 34,000. I'm not out of the woods yet, but that number just looks so damn good to me today.

Honestly, today I feel the worst I've felt this whole time. I've had a terrible headache and nausea and my muscles ache all over as a side affect from the steroids they gave me yesterday. From what I've read it sounds like it takes about 24 hours for the symptoms to pass. Now, at 4:30, I'm feeling the best I have all day.

Because my of the way my job works, I have anywhere from 5-20 appointments with different people each day. So many of you already know some of this story as I've had to cancel our lessons. However, lots of you are near and dear to me, but whom I don't interact with on a weekly basis and I wanted to fill you in as well. If I haven't responded to an email or text, this is why.

Through all of this, I have been shown that I have an amazing village surrounding me. I can count  more than two hands of people that I can call to help out with kids or food or anything. And I did call many of you and you drove Ruby to school and took care of the kids so Aleks could meet me in the ER. The doctor husband of one of my friends came and sat with me in the ER when he finished his surgeries. So many kindnesses and offers of help make me realize that Wichita has become a home. I hope you all know I've got your back too.

I'm on the mend. I'm going to be ok. Thank you all for your prayers and love and support to me and my family.