Holiday musings

It's a season of anticipation. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, the last day of Advent. The shopping and decorating and wrapping and baking and waiting will finally come to an end.

My household is currently anticipating a passing of the marble Ruby swallowed yesterday.

I came home from the gym to a somber and anxious husband and a surprisingly quiet youngest daughter. Ruby and Maia had been playing upstairs, when Ruby came down and told Aleks that she had swallowed a marble. It was stuck in her throat, but she could breathe. Aleks tried to give her the Heimlich, but by then it had made its way down her esophagus into her stomach. It was very traumatic for everyone, but by the time I got home, the scary part was over. When I asked Ruby why she did that, her answer was that she wanted to see what it would be like to eat a marble. "But I didn't chew it," she was quick to tell me.

So as I said, we're currently awaiting the passing of said marble, amidst a few stomach pangs. I'm convinced all the hype over Christmas has affected the impulsivity of my children, which has caused Aleks and I to revisit the intensity of our active parenting.

There's something about the twinkly lights, Bing Crosby's Christmas Song, and the schedule-induced fatigue that makes me more reflective than usual. There's also the conclusion of the calendar year and the promise of new beginnings on the horizon.

The other day I was driving home from seeing Aleks at work and had made a quick stop at a local bakery to pick up bread for dinner. My kids were at school surrounded by friends, both in classes with teachers who are nurturing and kind. I had just exchanged texts with a friend about our weekly tap class and was heading to a workout at my CrossFit gym. Later that day I would teach an afternoon of lessons. Suddenly a feeling of peace washed over me. In that moment, I truly did not hate Wichita.

Six months ago I was a different person: sad, discouraged, empty. It turns out that quitting my job was perhaps the healthiest thing I've ever done for myself. Since then, I've been on a journey to discover what fills me as a person. I've found there are things I enjoy outside of my work and have discovered that I have an identity beyond my career, children, and husband. I've had to really think about what kind of artist I want to be and have adjusted my approach to interpersonal relationships. As a result, my marriage is back on track, I am present for my children, I am able to enjoy making music, among so many other things.

As usual, this year has been full and busy for our family. Highlights include:

We had a pergola installed over our deck, did a kitchen update, and finished painting about 60% of our home's interior.

I almost died.

A three week trip to CA and UT to visit both sides of our families.

I visited Washington DC for the first time.

I quit my job.

Ruby started all day kindergarten.

I co-founded a non-profit arts organization called Music On Site.

Aleks and I took a trip to NYC for a premier of a new piano piece he wrote.

It's been a challenging year for many people around the world, but also for our little family. I am eternally grateful to be partnered with a human who is willing to be uncomfortable and allow that discomfort to be an impetus for change. To be so completely supported in all my imperfection is something I will never take for granted.

From our little corner of this globe, we wish you and yours a happy, healthy, and joyful holiday season. And I'll leave you with this inspirational quote from my daughter Maia.

(Yeah, I went there. I apparently have the humor of a 12 year old boy.)

Life after grad school

Lately I've been thinking about the things I’ve learned since finishing grad school.

Everything my teachers told me is simultaneously irrelevant and completely applicable. Of course in reality, things aren’t really that black and white. However, often professors have certain opinions about your personality and repertoire and your look and you end up getting put into a box based on a few subjective opinions. Once we get into the real world, that box is stripped away and it’s up to you to figure out what you want to sing and what you sound good singing. When you’re in school, it’s so easy to believe there is only one path to a successful career and I think a lot of professors do their students a disservice by feeding into that mentality. With my own students, I consciously work to acknowledge the subjectivity of everything. Now, what your teachers tell you about breathing and vowels and warming up, etc.? That stuff is golden. Hold on to that.

School stress doesn’t ever go away, it just takes on a new form. Yesterday I was hired to sing an early afternoon program for a social club here in town. In the morning I went to volunteer in my daughter’s kindergarten class like I do each week. When that was over (and I was again reminded how teachers are angels who work on earth) I came home to warm up and get dressed. After the recital I got home just in time to get my kids off the bus. I then taught 3 lessons, after which I made dinner and dealt with all the chores that come with having school-aged kids. I look back fondly on my grad school days and think how “easy” things were. I could have a leisurely workout on the day of a performance and a long, slow warm-up. School is such a great place to make the mistakes that help you grow into a mature artist and colleague with minimal consequences. Once you’re out of school, missed appointments or skipping a day of work doesn’t just result in a bad grade, they either have to be made up or ultimately end up costing you money.

Just showing up and doing the thing is 80%. It’s amazing to see how many adults (myself included) get sucked into the day-to-day drudgery of chores and work. Once you’re out of school, bills still have to be paid and for most of us, our art doesn’t become a primary source of income right away. Once you start “adulting” it becomes increasingly difficult to record and release the cd, or do the recital, or send out the applications/auditions for gigs. I keep telling myself, just do it. Don’t get caught up in perfection: getting it out there is more than half the battle.

Know your audiences. I love to sing recitals. Outside of academia, a classical voice recital is a hard sell. When you’re a student, you have a built-in audience; your classmates and professors have to come. When you’re a professor it’s the same deal: your students and colleagues will attend. This fall has marked my first experience not being affiliated with a university and it has been a wonderful learning experience. Eight years ago I finished my terminal degree and I am so grateful to be in a position where I am being paid to sing recitals. However, the groups who are hiring me are not academic types and some are not even specifically classical music lovers. Through trial and error and lots of thought, I’ve started to understand what makes a successful recital for my audiences here in Wichita. What we sing and study in school doesn’t necessarily translate to what the paying public wants to hear.

You should know how to program a concert/recital and make good photocopies. Once you’ve graduated and are out there performing, you need to have resources to help with recital programming. Things to think about are your audience, your own vocal endurance, variety, and space. Once you’ve programmed the concert, you need to know how to format a program in the event you are required to provide one. Logically thinking, it becomes important to know how to use your printer or establish a relationship with a copy center. Do research on cost and how to make the programs look good without using color copies (those are expensive!). You don’t want to eat too far into your profit.

Find a pianist whom you can trust and is a good collaborator. When you’re in school, often your pianist works at your school or other students at the school full time. If you stay in the area after graduation, chances are your accompanist will be willing to continue a working relationship, for pay of course. However, if you end up moving finding someone who plays well is important, but finding a trustworthy pianist who knows how to communicate is invaluable.

Get to know yourself. The older I get, the more I start to understand what makes me tick. Knowing what I enjoy, how I deal with conflict, and what energizes me are all things that help me in my personal life, but more importantly, make me a better performer, teacher, and colleague. It’s also really important to find something that you enjoy outside of music.

I'm sure there are countless other things I've learned, but the next thing on my to-do list is calling me!

It's only Dec. 5

Is anyone else feeling the December/Holiday pinch? My jaw is sore from clenching it throughout the day and my neck is chronically tight. It's amazing how all the little things add up so quickly. Here are 3 memes that describe my life right now.

6 Recitals/Concerts in the next 2 1/2 weeks.

Also, why oh why did I get that Elf on a Shelf?

I promise you we'll all make it to January. In the meantime, I'll be over here doing deep breathing exercises and trying not to eat all the chocolate.

Thoughts

I'm sitting at La Guardia Airport, waiting for my flight home. We arrived to beautiful, blue, sunny skies and are leaving with blustery, winter-like temperatures to usher us home. The leaves here are yellow and today, they cover the sidewalks, making them colorful yet slippery. The holiday decorations are going up and Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade participants are walking the route today, guided by seasoned professionals carrying a yellow flag to mark the way.

Aleks and I walked and walked and walked this weekend. I was surrounded by an overwhelmingly amazing amount of diversity. We saw dozens of police officers. More than I've ever seen before. 5 NYPD vans were lined up along the sidewalk near Trump tower.

Ever since Nov. 9 I've been watching and reading and thinking. My brain and heart have felt itchy the past week. The kind of itchy that happens when a scab begins to heal and is about to fall off. Our country’s recent events cannot be ignored. Even though in Wichita I'm relatively shielded from current events and could easily overlook any personal responsibility to the divisiveness that is radiating across our country. My brain continues to turn round and round, there's got to be something I can say that is helpful and comforting without dividing further and yet I've remained silent.

Today I'm adding my voice to the conversation.

Like so many of you, I felt utterly flattened on Wednesday morning. I had planned an entirely different conversation with my kids. And so I grieved quietly on Wednesday afternoon, by myself in in a hot bath, surprised that I cared at all, even more that I was so sad.

In the following days I watched SNL with Dave Chapelle as host. I listened to This American Life, Code Switch, and the 2 Dope Queens podcast. I read a few articles posted on Facebook. I was tempted to unfriend people who said that those of us who felt sad were just throwing a tantrum because our candidate didn't win. But I didn't unfriend them, because I don't want to just hear the voices that sound the most like mine. I took a "bubble" quiz. And I learned a few things:

1. Our elders, those who have lived through WWII and Vietnam are not panicking. They've seen hard times and they've seen it get better. They have perspective.

2. Many in the black community, and particularly the generation just before mine, aren't surprised by any of the outcomes of this election. Not that Trump was elected, nor the racism. Quite frankly, it's humbling. I feel as if this election has been a wakeup call to my demographic. Us moms/young professionals who Instagram our coffee and wear yoga pants to the farmer's market, and have the luxury of actually choosing between cloth or disposable diapers. How has racism touched our lives? It hasn't, until we elected someone who has said racist things publicly and we must now choose to ignore it or be woken up from our white ignorance.

3. I truly believe that not all Trump supporters are racist. It's easy, so easy to lump half of this country into a bigoted, misogynistic, racist mold. However, I think people want change and don't think about the things that won't affect them. Why would a farmer in Kansas even care about women's health when they so firmly stand as a pro-lifer? So many of us, on both sides, can’t see the many shades of gray. It’s either/or, all/nothing. Can I say that I respect someone whose views are so different than mine? Would I ask them for advice?

4. Change comes from being uncomfortable. It seems to me, most of the division in this country is because of fear. Fear is discomfort that seemingly poses a threat.

5. Whatever platform you have is enough to use as a means to speak out for what is right and to encourage others to love and support each other.

I know some of the things I’m saying are painted with a broad stroke and I unequivocally recognize the gray areas. I’m just trying to start a conversation and figure out how I can help us all peacefully live together on this planet.

Yesterday Aleks and I saw The Color Purple. It is such a poignant story of people trying to be better. In the play Mister says “How can I be good when all I have is bad?” (my paraphrase). To be better than what our circumstance might dictate is really fucking hard. This year, with the conversation intensifying regarding race and women and immigrants, we must all work really fucking hard to make this country a better place to live. It will be uncomfortable and will involve a whole lot of delayed gratification. But it will be worth it.

I’m not sure what my role is yet. I know that I want to promote love and equality and to use my white privilege to help those who do not have the same advantages as I. Your ideas are welcome as is your openness to be a part of the conversation. I truly believe we all want the same thing: goodness for all.

Our unofficial family motto is: be kind and loving. Maybe that’s the place to start. Let’s strive to have every word from our mouths be motivated by loving-kindness. If we do that, surely everything will turn out ok.

Aleks and I spent part of our last day in NYC at the Museum of Modern Art. On the top floor, plastered on a tall, wide gallery wall was this: Francis Picabia, Our heads are round so our thoughts can change direction.

 

Though this blog is a small platform, I'd like to continue the conversation here, occasionally. If we're all talking, then progress can't be far behind.

Happy Fall!

It's been ages since I've written here. I mentioned this to Aleks the other day and he asked if I had run out of things to writet or if I had run out of time. I certainly haven't run out of things to say! I feel like my life is full of half-finished projects, with lots of balls to keep in the air.

My private studio and church job fill up 20 hours of my week and then there is volunteering once a week, laundry twice a week, meals to cook, kids' projects to shop for, errands to run, practicing, and workouts to be done. It's a full life.

And while a large chunk of my life is filled up with boring adult/work things, I've been spending significantly more time doing things that fulfill me as a person, not just a mom or teacher. I joined Crossfit. I get a massage once a month. I've been taking time to meet up with friends for coffee or lunch. I started listening to music for pleasure, not research.

The most fun thing in my life right now are Monday nights when I go to tap class. Yep, this old broad is finally learning to dance! I'm really good at walking on beat. My ball-changes are pretty good. My shuffles are coming along, as are my Irish-es (sp?). Surprisingly, I think my cramp rolls are the strongest.

I'm not terribly good and I think that's why I love it so much. I get to spend some time each week being a student, I don't have to be in charge, and I don't necessarily have to be any good. I'm starting to think that everyone needs to have an outlet in their life in which they can just be mediocre.

In the midst of our busy schedules, we took some time to take our annual family pictures. Our friend Laurie took them again; she's been taking them for the past 4 years.

This year, my girl Ruby has come into her own. The second week of kindergarten was tough for her, but ever since she's settled into the new routine and is thriving. Apparently she's really smart. I mean, she's my kid and of course I think she's bright, but her teacher pointed out to me several skills Ruby is cultivating and I guess in the midst of all the tantrums I missed seeing her brilliance. At any rate, my view of this little nugget has changed a bit and I'm excited to see how she continues to grow. She's powerful, this one.

Maia is thriving as well. Second grade has been magical so far. Her teacher loves her students and expects them to be kind and good and they are. It's a wonderful class. Maia continues to be a great helper, willing and eager to help those who need it (unless it's Mom asking her to feed the dog dinner). Maia is still my super reader and reads in bed for a good hour and half each night before going to sleep. She is starting to really enjoy the piano, and often finds her way to the keyboard when she's looking for something to do. She is easy, happy, and quick to smile.

These girls are best friends. They think about each other at school. I often find Ruby has written Maia's name on the back of her school work. Maia will often write about her sister in her school work. There is also lots of bickering and fighting, but they love each other so much.

Aleks continues to be the foundation of our little family. Without him (his humor, flexibility, patience) we'd all just wind ourselves into big balls of stress. He does too much at work and tries to be a superhero at home. When we first got married, it was his patience that was my favorite quality. Now that we've been married 13 years, I still appreciate his patience, but my new favorite quality is that he is always reaching to be a better human.

I should throw him a parade to let him know how much I appreciate him. I mean that sincerely, not in a snarky way, like when he points out that he made the bed and I'm like "ok. do you want me to throw you a parade?" But really, he should have a parade. Maybe I can get the neighborhood kids involved...

It's Nov. 1. We're officially approaching the holiday season. In the midst of all the busyness, I hope you can find some time for yourself and maybe even find something to learn without the pressure of being the best.

Thirteen

The traditional 13th anniversary gift is lace.

I've never been a big fan of lace. It seems so pretentious and busy. It makes a statement on any garment and is obnoxiously assertive. When I was searching for a wedding dress I made to sure to avoid all dresses that had lace.

Lace is fragile and transparent. When wearing lace, I often feel like it is mocking my solid frame: pointing out my inability to rise to the daintiness and elegance of its delicate construction.

My wedding dress was somewhat simple, adorned with a little embroidery and beading. After 13 years of marriage there is still not much lace in my wardrobe.

This year, more than ever, marks a change for Aleks and I. It seems we've entered a new season in our marriage. Both our kids are in school all day. For the first time since we've been married, we no longer work at the same place. We've been settled in the same city and house for 5 1/2 years, the longest stretch thus far.

For so long, we've been pushing, pushing, pushing to survive. Getting jobs, enduring the trenches of parenthood with kids who are 17 months apart, applying for tenure, the list goes on. And while we are still moving forward and working toward the next upward step, our lives now have some white space.

White space is a metaphor used in businesses about opportunity. In our marriage, this white space means we suddenly have time and energy to see each other clearly without the immediate stresses of financial strain and young children. We see opportunities to redefine our relationship and to question the habitual way we communicate with each other. Inevitably we are confronted with the people we have become over the past 13 years. And because we are different people now, how we fit together is affected.

You'd think after 13 years together, marriage would get easier.

Don't get me wrong, some things are way easier. Like grocery shopping together. I remember in the first year of marriage, the majority of our fights would take place in the grocery store or immediately after a shopping trip. Managing a house together is easier. Asking for help is easier.

Strangely enough, saying what we want seems to be more difficult for us both.

I'm learning that being uncomfortable leads to change. I'm so lucky and grateful to be partnered with someone who wants to become a better version of himself. When things get uncomfortable, Aleks is willing to lean into that discomfort and figure out the root of the problem. He doesn't turn away, which is the safe and easy thing to do.

We choose every day to be better, as individuals and together.

When I think of lace, I picture the intricate details of fabric that are connected by strands and when I think of it that way, it seems frivolous and unnecessary. But, if I think of the spaces, the empty places, where something was taken away, what is left seems extraordinary. And those small connecting strands are no longer fussy, but essential to the entire structure and beauty.

Our marriage started out as a blank sheet. Over the past thirteen years we've put holes into that sheet. Sometimes on purpose, with adjustments in communication and purposeful interactions. Sometimes it has happened accidentally with a harsh word or thoughtless remarks. When I step back, I don't see a damaged product. Rather, I see something beautiful emerging; the holes have left intricate patterns, and the strands holding them are indestructible.

Maybe lace for the 13th year is more appropriate than I thought.

Happy anniversary my darling. Endlessly grateful you are my partner and excited for what life has in store for us next.

 (Not quite 13 years ago, but almost)

Six.

My little girl is 6 today.

My unplanned peanut, who has made her undisputed claim in our family and completed us in the most perfect way.

Ruby continues to be incredibly intuitive, mature, sensitive, and determined. Far and away, the best word to describe my second born is powerful. 

(Credit for this word goes to my cousin who gave it to me this summer)

Ruby loves to play piano and amazes me with her ability to focus during practice and lessons.

Ruby is the uncontested champion of staring contests. She likes to catch us unaware with "Staring Contest! 1-2-3 Go!" Maia and I don't even try to beat her anymore.

She can burp like a 13 year old boy, with resonance that would make any opera singer jealous. She likes to make her sister laugh and often is our cross-eyed jester.

Ruby favors her father in looks, but on the inside? She's all mine. We understand each other easily and know how to push each other's buttons.

I can't wait to see where this peanut directs her power in the coming years. Whatever it is, it's going to be fun to watch.

Happy birthday my sweet Roo.

Happy New (School) Year!

This week I joined the ranks of women who enter and leave the YMCA without children running ahead of them, bickering over who gets to open the door, needing to arrive 10 minutes before class starts to check them into the KidZone, and then fielding requests for a snack from the vending machine as we head home.

This week marks the first time in seven years that my day-to-day includes alone time. As an introvert, its remarkable to note that I actually physically feel different. It's like my body is more open and absorbent, somehow. I find myself thinking about making plans with friends. Like, I want to get together with people. It's crazy!

With two children in school all day, I've realized several things:
1. Regular showers are now necessary for my girls. Before this week I would unashamedly tell anyone that my kids were bathed every 8 days. Now, they come home sweaty and happy and sending them to bed with the day's adventures caked on their skin is no longer an option.

2. Hot lunches are the best. We have to pack Maia's lunch every day because of her refined taste buds (read: sarcasm), but Ruby is willing to try the school lunch and it's amazing! My meal prep time has cut down by half with everyone gone all day.

3. The hours between arriving home from school and bedtime are intense and go too quickly. There's piano practicing, ballet, homework, dinner, and showers to fit in. Not to mention time to play and decompress after a day of sitting still and being quiet. Everyday this week my kids have gotten off the bus and do not stop talking until I've tucked them into bed. It's as if they've stored up all the words during school and have to get them out once they come home. It's actually kind of incredible.

4. I've been very busy for the past 7 years. Realizing that this week has been incredibly healthy and validating for me. When we became parents, Aleks and I made a conscious effort to minimize the impact on our kids with both of us working (him: full time, me: part time). For us that meant planning my work schedule around their preschool schedules or coordinating our work schedules so that we could trade off being with the kids. I'm really grateful we were able to do that, but it was quite draining and stressful. It often meant that Aleks and I would only see each other as we passed off the kids from one car to the other while he headed home from work as I headed in. It also meant that I was always working: either as a mom or as a teacher, sometimes I'd have to do both at the same time. It's no wonder I haven't had any energy for anything else.

5. I like working. Quitting my job at WSU was the absolute best decision for me. I am 100% happier. In complete honesty, WSU's first day of school was hard for me. I was sad not to see the students whom I have come to love. But then I heard about some of the shenanigans going on and just felt relieved that I was free from the all the disfunction. I've got some new work-related things lined up and the most time consuming one doesn't start until after Labor Day, so basically I'm a stay at home mom for two weeks. It's been great going to the gym each day and getting stuff done around the house, but I'm also really grateful that I have the opportunity to work and contribute to my community.

This week I set out to repair some holes in the girls' bathroom. An old towel rack kept falling down and when we went to put new ones up, it left unsightly holes in the wall. This was over 6 months ago. I looked up a tutorial on YouTube and got to work.  It all went fairly smoothly (well actually, there were quite a few hiccoughs along the way) until it came time to touch up the paint. I had saved the paint color, but had to get a new can. I'm sure you can all see where this is going, but of course, when I got home and put it on the wall, it didn't quite match. So yesterday I had to repaint the entire bathroom. Which is fine, but I just wasn't planning on investing that much time into the whole thing. However, it's done now and looks good and the girls are thrilled.

The girls are loving school. Ruby especially is just radiating happiness every day. I am so incredibly grateful to have two girls who enjoy school. I will never take that for granted.

They also learned to ride bikes this weekend and after seeing Maia's bruised knees (from hitting the handlebars as she was riding) we decided to get them new bikes. Ruby has picked it up very quickly while Maia is still a bit cautious and nervous. With cooler temperatures on the way, I'm sure we'll get lots of bike riding practice in.

It's been a big couple of weeks for our little family. Maybe it's just my new-found alone time, but I'm filled to the gills with gratitude. For health, happiness, family, new beginnings, work, strength, money to buy groceries. All of it.

Pierced Ears!

Yesterday Ruby got her ears pierced. Today she pulled her hair in a ponytail, a rarity, and her little fingers kept finding their way to her ears, fingering the sweet "ruby" studs she chose. Maia is also quite taken with this new development. I overheard Maia say to Ruby "Let me see those darling earrings of yours."

Ruby has been thinking about doing it for awhile. She loves to pick out earrings for me and would often ask to wear a pair of pearl clip-ons. I think the tipping point was a conversation with our 9 year old neighbor across the street who got her ears pierced when she was 5. Ruby proudly told her "My mom and dad said I can get them done whenever I want."

During the few days leading up to the big event, Ruby kept asking "Does it hurt?"

Aleks and I sort of hemmed and hawed about it, trying to avoid giving a straight answer. Because, in all honesty, it does hurt and I guess I just didn't want Ruby to make a decision based in fear.

In the chair, as the Claire store manager got her gloves on, Ruby asked again "Does it hurt?" And still, us adults didn't want to give a firm answer. I was suddenly struck with the disservice we were all doing her and just said, "Yes. But it's not that bad and people do it all the time. If it hurt that badly, people wouldn't keep doing it."

The anticipation kept her hyped up and silly.

And then, thankfully, they offered to do both ears at the same time and she was surrounded by two Claire employees with plastic gloves, holding those plastic piercing "guns" up to her ears. Ruby was gripping my hand and as she started to close her eyes I said look at me and her eyes met mine just as the new earrings went into her ears. No tears, just a brave girl who said "ow" with a heartbeat I could see throbbing in her neck.

It hurt for a bit afterward, but by the time she was unwrapping the lollipop they gave her, all pain was forgotten. Maia said she was going to let Ruby do it first and if it didn't hurt, then she would get her ears pieced too. Needless to say, Maia asked if I could buy her the clip-on Eiffel Tower earrings she saw at the store.

Pierced ears this week, kindergarten next.

Final YMCA Pool Rankings

Today the girls and I headed to the downtown YMCA; the last destination on our YMCA pool summer checklist. During dinner I asked the girls to rank the facilities.

There are seven YMCA locations in the the greater Wichita area. Here's a quick breakdown of their offerings:
Andover- Our local Y. Has a large outdoor pool with water slides, lily pads, and a lazy river.
East- Indoor pool only, but has an indoor water slide that both girls are tall enough to use.
Northwest- Large outdoor water park with water slides and a lazy river, indoor water slide as well, but Ruby is not tall enough to use it.
West- Indoor pool only, water slide that both girls could use and is bigger than the east water slide
Southwest- Large outdoor waterpark that has water slides, but also a diving board and an in-pool rock climbing wall.
North- Medium outdoor water park with water slides and here's the best part: every 20 minutes the pool turns into a wave pool.
Downtown- Indoor pool only. Nothing special, but wins for largest tv in the midwest (well, I made that up, but it's really big)

Honestly, if you asked my kids which pool was their favorite, they'd probably just say whichever one they swam in that day. However, here are their rankings.

Maia:
1. Southwest
2. Northwest
3. North
4. West
5. Andover
6. East
7. Downtown

Southwest was her favorite because the water slide was cool and the lazy river was fun. When I asked why she didn't like the downtown Y she said "oh! I love it! but there's no water slide."

Ruby:
1. Andover
2. Downtown
3. East
4. North
5. West
6. Northwest
7. Southwest

Poor Ruby is just about 47 1/2 inches tall and you have to be 48 inches to go down all the water slides. Next summer will be more fun for her. She loved the Andover Y because this year she was finally tall enough to do the lily pads, which are floating pads with a rope net extended above. She didn't like the southwest y because she wasn't tall enough to do the diving board and she wasn't very good at the rock wall.

Aleks:
1. Andover
2. North
3. East
4. Southwest
5. West
(He didn't go to the Downtown or Northwest)

Emily:
1. North
2. Andover
3. East
4. Northwest
5. Southwest
6. Downtown
(I didn't go to the West location)

Maia said once we went to all the indoor and outdoor pools, summer could be over. On Friday we find out the kids' teachers and then Maia starts school next Thursday (the Kindergarteners have a slightly different schedule). We're hoping to squeeze in a few more adventures before the fall schedule kicks into gear.

It's been a great summer. It's going to be a great fall.

Summer Vacation 2016: Part 3 of 3- That Snowbird Life

There's not much in my life that has stayed consistent. Excluding my family, there are very few people that I still know from my youth. There isn't a childhood house to come home to during holidays, I don't run into my 4th grade teacher at the grocery store, and I'm very good at getting close to friends and then having to say goodbye 5 years later.

This week I realized that the one thing that has been consistent throughout my life are the family reunions up in the Wasatch mountains. I've been coming to Snowbird my entire life.

No wonder this week holds such a special place in my heart. Up at 8,000 feet above sea level where the air is thin, my mom's family comes together to hike, swim, talk, eat, and have a talent show.

This is the second time Maia and Ruby have come to a Snowbird reunion, but it was really the first time they experienced it as kids, not toddlers. Things have changed over the years. The arcade has been turned into a game room with foosball, ping pong, and pool tables. The center has expanded their activity offerings from one Alpine slide, to a "roller coaster" and several other rides.

And just like the resort changes a bit each year, so do we. There have been birthdays (we got to celebrate 2 this past week!) and career changes and heartbreak and triumphs, all of which shape us into the people we are now.

This one week, every other year, gives us a chance to reconnect and learn each other all over again. Our friendships are renewed and solidified. We rejoice and cry together. We share laughs and music. But mostly we just enjoy each other.

Wifi on the mountain is sometimes touchy, which makes it easy to really let go of the stresses and pressures of real life.

My cousin lives in Salt Lake and hosted our biennial family reunion talent show. The front lawn was swarming with little girls doing gymnastics, while the adults gathered to talk inside, surrounded by instruments, arcade games, a baby, and a few teenagers. 

My dearest cousin (closest thing to a sister I ever had) came from the UK with her gorgeous child and while we watched our daughters do cartwheels while drinking beers it was just a dream come true. We even sang a duet together for the talent show. I might share it with you, if you ask nicely.

These are most of the Pappas great grandchildren. (There are 4 more!)

And my generation. (Photo by Ruby)

Did I mention my cousin collects old arcade games? And lives in a renovated frat house? My sweet nephew was smitten with the transformer he found.

And can I mention again that we had a talent show? My sister in law whispered to me, "we could sell tickets to this thing!"

Living at 8,000 feet for a week is no joke. After Aleks and I had been there for several days and my brothers had joined us, we all decided to tackle the mountain. We hiked about 4 1/2 miles and ascended 3,000 feet to the summit of the mountain. It took awhile, but we all felt quite proud of our accomplishment and Kodi (7 months) handled it like a champ.

Being with extended family for a full week in a beautiful location is such a gift. The experiences we share and memories we make knit us together more strongly.

To my family: Take care of yourselves, love fiercely, and know that we'll see each other again soon on the mountain.

Until next time. xoxo

Summer Vacation 2016: Part 2 of 3- I left my heart in SF

I'm writing this while lying in bed in the dark. My daughters finally fell asleep in the bed next to me. I can understand why it took them awhile to unwind; I told them they could have as many desserts as they wanted. It's not everyday you go to your first buffet at a casino. In hindsight, maybe there was another way we could have commemorated our stop in Reno.

We drove east this afternoon and melancholy settled on my shoulders as the bay became farther and farther away. My mood didn't improve as we entered Nevada. I think part of my soul died walking around Circus Circus. I must admit, the dog show did bring a smile to my face. And of course the girls acted like we were at Disneyland.

Aleks and I always leave the Bay Area feeling both like we stayed just the right amount of time and that we barely scratched the surface of people to see and things to do.

Family is always a priority.

It's been ages since I've visited Golden Gate Park and I didn't realize the aquarium was so nice.

I had read about Seward Park and the concrete slides there, so I was surprised and excited to find them at Golden Gate Park as well. It's a miracle more children don't get wounded on this death trap. However, the well used scraps of cardboard left at the bottom of the slides, the dog running up and down the stairs, the gaggle of parents at the bottom watching their kids take a turn, and my kids' delight will forever be etched in my mind.

Tilden Park is always a favorite. It's got everything: steam trains, carousel rides, and ice cream! Pro tip: Find the circular bench on the merry-go-round. It spins like the tea cups at Disneyland.

The Bay Area loves its pizza and ice cream and have figured out how to do them well.

Nana snapped this pic while Aleks and I were on a sushi date. Oh that we lived closer to family. Look how happy they are.

I love how they gravitate toward each other in sleep. Forever entangled, these two.

Riding bikes across the Golden Gate Bridge has become a favorite tradition. This was our third year and as fun as ever. I must say, pulling a 7 year old on a tag-a-long was a challenge. I told Aleks that we need to wait to do this again until our girls can ride their own bikes.

"Are you panting mom? You're just pulling a 7 year old with an adult sized helmut!" This was during a rather intense climb. I really wanted to cuss.

Ice cream with Gramps afterward was well deserved.

"You know mom, I think Ruby and I are starting to get the hang of sharing a bed!"

Tomorrow we drive to Utah where lots of relatives on my side of the family will gather for a biennial family reunion at Snowbird. I have so many good memories from my childhood of this place and my cousins. Driving toward that makes leaving CA just a little easier.