Four

Today Ruby is four.

I think she's going to have a really good year. I've been seeing signs, promises of new growth from the soil we've been working for the past two years.

Big things like tantrums becoming a thing of the past.

Little things like trotting into her preschool class with hardly a glance back.

And even things like having a bounce house on the first cool weekend in awhile.

We rented a bounce house for Maia's birthday back in April, but it never came. After finally getting in touch with the owner, he profusely apologized and offered us a bounce house for 24 hours, free of charge.

We didn't plan a party for Ruby. Partly because she's the second child. Partly because she doesn't have any friends that weren't Maia's friends first. Partly because she just started school and is still getting to know her classmates. Partly because we're didn't get our act together soon enough.

We did however, invite one of her sweet friends from school and they had a blast bouncing and eating cupcakes.

We basically had the bounce house all weekend and didn't really see much of the girls. It was fantastic. They wore themselves out.

Ruby was very sad that "her bounce house" was gone this morning.

Yesterday we went to build-a-bear (her choice), since I have to work today, but this morning we went to breakfast and will eat cupcakes and open presents and hopefully she'll feel loved and special on her day.

Oh, my sweet Ruby.
Just as quick to hug and kiss and be cuddled and she is to voice her displeasure with you or her socks or Isabelle.
My passionate little bug.

An imagination like none other. A little actress.
"Mommy, take a picture where I'm saying 'uh uh!'"

My little clown. Maia is adamant that Ruby is the funny one in the family.
A creative thinker who will do really exciting things one day. If anyone can think outside a paradigm, it's this little peanut.

How empty and boring my life would be with Ruby Ann to challenge, entertain, and love me the way she does.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl. I am so glad you were born.

Almost four

In January of 2013 Ruby was 2 and Maia was almost 3. We went to visit my parents in Arizona and while Aleks had to get back to snowy Wichita, I was able to stay and enjoy the beautiful weather. We had just spent 2 weeks in Oregon for Christmas and Ruby was ready to be home.

I distinctly remember that afternoon. Ruby desperately needed a nap (I did too) and her sleep deprivation seemed to give her superhuman strength.

She and I battled for close to 2 hours. Why I chose to let it go on that long, I can only write off as exhaustion fueled logic.

In the end, she won. Never took a nap. Broke my spirit. Made me question my capabilities as a parent.

That day I called Aleks and told him that we should look into a vasectomy.

Almost every night for the next two years, bedtime with Ruby has involved tantrums and/or manipulative shenanigans that caused me to dread that time after dinner.

We tried everything we could think of. Incentives, timeouts, threats, yelling, tenderness, locking doors, persuading, routines, begging, ignoring, taking away of privileges. I hate to admit it, but we even swatted her butt a few times, of which I feel completely hypocritical about. Actually, that entire list makes me feel sick.

Nothing seemed to impact my ferociously stubborn child. It was almost as if it was habit for her.

Bedtime=tantrum.

We could not figure out how to break that cycle.

Two years people.

I think the only thing that kept up sane was that we started this whole process relatively early in the evening so we always had time to decompress by ourselves after she finally passed out.

I can't put an exact date on it, but Ruby has not thrown one tantrum at bedtime in the past week and a half.

She's come close, but we've been able to head her off with ease.

Next week Ruby will be 4. She started preschool last month. We got a puppy. Lots of changes and yet everything else has stayed the same.

It's like a switch got flipped.

I'm hesitant to even mention it, but I'm not terribly superstitious and the past two years have taught me that I don't really have that much control over the situation.

My biggest prayer is that she comes out of this season with minimal scaring that fades quickly. Actually I hope that for all of us.

So cheers to a new season. To maturity and growth and cooperation.

September

Today I ripped off August from our calendar to reveal September's page.

This next season is swallowing us up into it's current of reading charts and colored shapes and meetings and paperwork and repertoire lists.

It's wonderful, it really is. Not just the sweet freshness of my girls' new school experiences, but also my return to work and the excitement of the college atmosphere.

I often stop to think how fortunate I am to work with college age students. Of course it's not all roses but the goose pimples that occur in my studio are addicting.

There's more to say. Thoughts are developing roots which will hopefully become something of worth that I can share.

But for now, I'll leave you with Ruby, who was couponing during breakfast the other morning, while waiting for her coffee.

Happy Labor Day.

Preschool

About 45 minutes before we left for Ruby's first day of school, she tripped and skinned her knee on the pavement.

You would have thought her leg was cut to bone, the way she carried on.

(see bandaid on the left knee)

"Ruby, are you nervous about going to school today?"
"No! I'm not nervous!"

Only Baia would comfort her and she cuddled with Maia's pink bunny all the way to school.

Thankfully her leg wasn't TOO badly hurt, so she could walk into school herself.

You'd think it would be easier with the second one.

Nope.

Kelle says what I wish I had found the words to say "You're still going to leave feeling like you left your own beating heart in a cooler in a classroom, asking someone else to make it thrive for seven hours."

Thankfully I only have to let go for 3 hours at a time. Baby steps for this mama.

I definitely was crying down the hallway as Maia and I walked to the car.

At pickup I got the biggest hug (honestly, she always gives the best hugs anyway) and we were right back where we left off. Complaining about a hurt knee and cuddling Baia.

Girlfriend was tired.

First days need to be celebrated. For the courage to try new things. For putting our best face on, even though we're a little nervous inside and our knees are skinned.

Frozen yogurt for all!
Also, why does this week have to be the hottest week of the summer?!

My strong-willed, affectionate, dramatic girl has taken a huge first step today and I couldn't be more proud of her. This child especially has been strongly connected to her mama. The gradual separation is often painful, but we're both ready.

Kindergarten

The first day has come and gone.
We are all exhausted and handling it in different ways.

It's funny how the effects of change sneak up and you don't notice it until you're suddenly trying not to cry in your muscle pump class when the instructor runs in late because it was her daughter's first day of kindergarten as well.

This week we all start school. Maia will be in afternoon kindergarten five days a week. Ruby will be in afternoon preschool three days a week.

But today was really Maia's day.

My smart, sassy firstborn had her first day of kindergarten.
And she was ready.

The teachers were all "just drop your child off in the car line and someone will be there to meet them" and I'm all "my little girl is only going to have a first day of kindergarten once so I'm walking her in" while quivering inside because this 33 year old firstborn doesn't like to break the rules.

Maia embraced this day with enthusiasm. She couldn't hug me goodbye fast enough.
"Can I take of picture of you and Mrs. Hays?"
"No!" (I swear she rolled her eyes too)

What I'm realizing is, the older they get, the less time they spend with me. More and more outside influences impact their minds.

Do they know how wonderful they are? Will they choose to be loving and kind?

It's not that I'm sad my girls are growing up. I'm quite excited about that actually. I'm just scared of what I don't know. That maybe whatever happens at school will change her beyond recognition.

Then I pick her up and she's all smiles and I'm fighting back tears again because she's exactly the same (and alive) and if she can be open to new experiences, than maybe I can too.

How is she so brave?

We're almost to the car and then I hear in a tiny voice "Mommy I really need to go potty." And just like that I'm back on solid ground. This I know how to handle.

Tomorrow she takes the bus to school.
Wednesday Ruby starts.

Hold me.

Or send wine.

Isabelle

So. We got a puppy.
She's the sweetest thing you'll ever meet.

Aleks and I have always planned to get a dog. We've just been putting it off. You know, we're too busy. The girls are too young. We can't afford it. It'll be too much work.

Our friend Stephanie was running this weekend and found little Isabelle under a car. She took her to the vet, got her checked out, and kept her fed and safe. Meanwhile, Stephanie's husband started sending Aleks pictures of this adorable pit bull/chihuahua mix.

Well, we went to meet this little girl and it only took 10 minutes and I knew we'd be calling her ours.

She really is the sweetest puppy I've ever known. She's very laid back and calm. She doesn't bark a whole lot and just barely nibbles on our fingers. She's not house trained yet, but slept through her first night here, just waking up at 5, wanting to snuggle.

She's providing some much needed balance in this intense, loud household. I'm hoping she will teach my girls that there are times to be still and gentle.

Seriously, Aleks and I have to stay vigilant or we're going to have some Of Mice and Men action here.

 

She's waaaaaaaay easier than any of my babies ever were. And the best part is? I don't have to breastfeed her or change any diapers! Also, her crying doesn't strike panic in my body like my children's wails did.

She lies on my chest at night, tucked under my chin and makes sucking noises in her sleep.

Maia thought she needed a fancy name, like Princess Celestia. Aleks was able to convince her that Isabelle is a fancy name too.

We're all pretty excited about this new addition.

Friday friday

Has anyone seen Lean Remini's new reality show "It's All Relative"?
I'm probably enjoying it more than I should.
I mean, I'm actually laughing out loud sometimes. I never do that.

On a related note, I think nothing points out aging more, than when one takes preemptive measures to combat it.

If I'm going to have a sagging chin as I get older, God give me the peace to accept and embrace it.

On a semi-related note, anyone know what happens after cellulite? You know, you're born with perfect, smooth skin and then puberty hits and cellulite happens and then you have two kids and no matter how many muscle pump classes you take, nothing helps. What happens next?

 Just asking for a friend.

Ruby nearly passed out crying tonight because she said her forehead hurt. We've been through this once before and headed to the ER, in our panic, which resulted in very expensive slushies and 15 minutes of a movie.

So, I've got her number. We made do with an ice pack and some ibuprofen. (My parents actually say eye-byou-profen. Does anyone else say that? I always thought it was eye-bee-profen) Still, it's a little worrying. She's only 3.

Two weeks until school starts. Can you tell I'm a bit on edge?

I'm about to have one in kindergarten and one in preschool.

So naturally I'm feeling the need to purge our house and repaint/clean every surface. Aleks asked if I'm nesting.

helltotheno

I can barely handle the two kids I've got.

And for the record, "nesting" is just part of my personality. I'm just learning that most people don't feel the desire to clean the little corners on the outside of kitchen cabinets with q-tips.

I know. I've got issues.

Anyway.

Happy weekend!