Things are a changin'

The past couple of days I've been feeling unsettled.

It's the end of the semester and usually I feel excited and confident about what my students will be offering at juries. However, this week I just feel disconnected.

For the past month or so I've been music directing a musical revue for the school. 

Last night was the final dress and the show is really good. 

Lots of dancing and high energy and pretty singing. 

And then, remember this?

Well, after seeing the specialist here for a follow up, he's decided that he'd like to redo the biopsy.

I think it's been bothering me more than I realize.

Also, yesterday Aleks and I took Maia to look at a preschool.

It's a really great school. They offer traditional preschool and Montessori primary. It's part of an independent private school that's K-12.

Maia loved it and wants to go back and stay by herself.

That's reason enough to go forward with it, but I'm having conflicting feelings.

You know the acronyms; SAHM, BF, BW, AP, CS?

(Stay At Home Mom, Breast Feeding, Baby Wearing, Attachment Parenting, Co-Sleeping)

Well, I'm not militant or really, 100% of any of these, but I'd like to have friends here who at least see the value of involved parenting.

See, since being here in Wichita, I've met lots of nice people. 

People who's kids LOVE Dora and the Disney princesses and anything Disney.

Which is great.

It's just that my kids have no clue about those things, and I kind of like it that way.

Aleks and I definitely enjoy pop culture, but if I had to put a label on us, I'd say we're more PBS than Disney channel.

I think we'd meet more people like us if Maia was in Montessori.

But, if she goes to Montessori, then she has to be enrolled 5 days a week.

And that makes me want to cry.

For the rest of her life, Maia's going to have responsibility.

For these few short years, her only job is to wake up and play.

And I'd miss her.

Sure, it's only half days, but then add to it the days I work and her dance class and all the other things we do to keep busy and then I feel like I'd just never see her.

It may not even be an issue since she's not potty trained.

However, she went twice this week. And sits on the potty without screaming.

Which is a major breakthrough for my control freak daughter.

Look at the cute little bottom.

I can barely handle it.

I don't work today, so I'm going to spend it taking deep breaths, drinking coffee, and kissing my girls.