Thanksgiving 2014

Thanksgiving is a great holiday. It's all the food and family and warm fuzzies without the expectations and marketing. This holiday I'm particularly thankful for the little things that add up to a big, extraordinarily wonderful life.

Homemade place cards with 4 year old handwriting.

Puppies who find just the perfect spot to sun bathe.

5 year olds who wear makeup and let you know they want "turquoise on the right eye and pink on the left."

Husbands who know how and like to cook.

Little helpers in the kitchen and passing on the tradition of holiday roll making.

Pre-dinner music.

Delicious food. And I'm just going to say it. I'm grateful for carbs.

This group of goobers. My people who make life colorful, interesting, and full of purpose.

As we went around the table, I jotted down what my family is thankful for:

Aleks: Family, an amazing wife, a job that he enjoys, friends, and health

Maia: God, Jesus, family, Isabelle, and "I hope the bird who died is... I hope they have a new one, the family that lost it"

Ruby: The bird who is dead, my microphone

(The girls found a dead baby bird outside yesterday. It made a pretty big impression.)

David: All of his granddaughters, children, people who helped make his granddaughters, sisters, and a mother and father whole cared for him.

From all of us here in Kansas to you, Happy Thanksgiving!

It's that time of year again

Family photos.

There's nothing like the turning of the leaves, frosty mornings, and pumpkin spice everything to remind you that Christmas card season is right around the corner. Which means, you've got to get your rear in gear and get the annual family picture taken.

I really dread the whole process. Scouting out a location, styling your family, trying to convince the kids to wear the clothes you've picked, getting hair brushed, finding a time that everyone is happy.

And what is it about the camera that turns kids into complete lunatics? They can't just smile nicely?

Does anyone have fun taking family photos? Maybe it'll be less painful when the kids are a bit older.

However, sometimes silliness captures personality pretty perfectly.

And while it's a huge pain in the ass and insecurity rears its ugly head, I know I'll be grateful for these snapshots that documents this time in our lives. Especially since I'm usually behind the camera.

5 years old. Going on 10.

My sassy, sensitive, sweetest little girl.

My people.

I spent a good chunk this afternoon designing our Christmas card. These two didn't make the cut.

Aren't you excited to see the one we picked?!

Also, peace and serenity to you if family photos are still on your to-do list.

Gratitude in the midst of chaos

On Tuesday night I'm presenting a recital of contemporary American music. There has been a long and leisurely road leading to this program, which is something I don't get to experience very often now that I'm a professional. In the midst of work and family and keeping a house running, it's often difficult to carve out time to practice, especially with an accompanist. But, this time was different and it's been a nice change.

Meanwhile my family has been sick. It started over a week ago when Ruby came home with a fever. Soon Maia was sick and two days after that Aleks came home from work shivering and hot to the touch. The girls bounced back after just a few days, but Aleks has been hit hard. I won't go into details regarding their symptoms, it's not pretty.

Needless to say, I've quarantined Aleks to the basement and have been disinfecting all surfaces. I declare, out loud, every day "I will not get sick," have started a religious routine of vitamin C supplements, am drinking fluids non-stop (my poor students have to deal with me running to the restroom every half hour), and am going to bed super early to get as much rest as possible.

Today is Sunday. I am healthy.

This past week has been hard. It's never easy when your partner is incapacitated and you're used to having help. All the triggers are in place. How easy it could be to feel overwhelmed and stressed to the point of breaking.

And yet, I feel oddly calm. At peace and full of gratitude.

I'm not sick.

My program is ready. I know the music intimately. I'm not scrambling to get things into my brain.

There are people who are investing in this concert, which humbles and settles me.

One is my accompanist who is doing a wonderful job. She has a busy life and to her, this could just be one more thing, but I never feel like it's only another job she has to complete.

The second half of my program features a song cycle by Ricky Ian Gordon called Too Few the Mornings Be. It has long been a dream of mine to collaborate with dancers and so I reached out to a member of the dance faculty and she agreed to choreograph for me. This recital comes at a time when the dance department is extremely busy with a guest choreographer in preparation for their dance festival and yet, she has added incredible beauty to my recital.

And the dancers. They are such an inspiration to me. Most are students from my studio and are musical theater majors. Their lives are so full. And yet they are giving up Saturday mornings (!!!) to rehearse and are so professional and enthusiastic and generous. I'm so so grateful to be sharing the stage with people who are excited about making art and enjoy the process of creating.

It's going to be a really unique, special night. And even if I end up sick (which, hell no I'm not), it's been a fulfilling journey to this point. If you're in my neck of the woods, I'd love to see you on Tuesday! (Check out my website for details: www.emilysternfelddunn.com)

Also, I wrote this while sitting in front of some beautiful flowers my mom sent me and a cup of hot coffee. So much happiness can be found in the little things.

Updating the house

As you may have heard, we've had new siding put on our house this fall. It's been a very long process (we're still awaiting the final walk through) and we're so very glad that we went ahead with the project.

This is what our house looked like when we moved in 4 years ago.

This past year, much of the siding was rotting and warping. We decided to redo the entire house and as we did, discovered that there was no paper wrapping between the plywood and siding. Hopefully, this new siding (and Tyvek wrap underneath) will last for 15 years or so.

Here is our house with the new siding and before paint.

With the entire house getting a fresh coat of paint, we wanted to pick out a new color scheme. And of course, that turned out to be very intimidating and a bit nerve racking. I mean, it's not like a pet's name, which you can try out for a few days and then change if it doesn't sound right. But, I think we did ok and I really like the new look.

(It looks kind of yellow here, but it's light gray with dark gray trim and dark blue doors and shutters.)

The previous owners left a bunch of paint cans in the basement, all from 2008. Which means that we are long overdue for an interior facelift as well. Subsequently, I have started the VERY long process of repainting the inside of our house. Over fall break (just a 4 day weekend) I decided to repaint the dining room and our bedroom.

I've never liked the dark red dining room, it alway felt like a bordello and was extremely warm under the chandelier.

The walls were striped with the same color red in glossy and matte paint. I'm sure it took a long time, but meh, not my cup of tea.

Also, the white walls below the chair rail were very dingy and scuffed.

A couple gallons of primer and paint later.

It's a very light tan on the top and a dark blue on the bottom.

We're now on the hunt for some artwork to hang on our bare walls. But I love it. It feels bigger and cleaner and less oppressive.

This was our bedroom the week we moved in.

And here it is half primed. It was at this point that I began to feel as if this whole project was a bad idea. There's nothing like your home being in complete chaos to make you feel overwhelmed.

But, it was totally worth it. Better than a deep clean.

It's a very light gray with blue undertones.

The entire room feels more elegant, lighter, and fresher.

The rest of the house really needs to be updated, but it's such a big job. Hopefully if I just do it bit by bit, I won't get too burned out.

To his credit, Aleks did try to help. He started to tape some molding until I swooped in and encouraged him to just take care of the kids.

I just can't help my perfectionist tendencies. I may have used one of the girls' crafting paintbrushes to touch up here and there...

Kindergarten

We are now 3 months into kindergarten and I am whole heartedly feeling like it is simultaneously the most wonderful and worst thing in the world.

Maia has always been a verbal and precocious little being, but kindergarten has just fueled and intensified her personality. She is like a little sponge, just soaking up all interactions with her friends. Maia comes home with new sayings every day. If we're Facebook friends, you might have read some of the things she has recently said.

Tyler is the most prominent contributor of these new sayings. Namely "dangit" "sexy lady" and the story that his "older brother hit him in the penis once."

At Maia's parent teacher conference we got very positive feedback: Maia is ahead of where she needs to be, follows directions well, and is a leader in the classroom. As a result Mrs. Hays sometimes puts Maia with the kids who are a bit rascally.

Tyler also said to Maia, "Say poop two times. I won't tell."

And that sums up why kindergarten is the worst and the best.

I listen with rapt attention and eager delight to hear what Maia has to tell us. It's the best. So entertaining and interesting. And it's also a little nerve racking. How strong is her moral compass? Today it's "poop" but before I know it there will be temptations to do things that have much more serious consequences.

I asked Maia what she thought she'd be like as a teenager. Maia thought for a moment and then said "natural."

All I can think to do is keep the dialogue open and enjoy the maturity and silliness that comes as Maia steps into each new phase of life.

I'll leave you with this conversation Maia had with Aleks the other day:

"Daddy, I love balls, but not the kind you play with...

...the kind you dance at!"

I mean really, what other kinds of balls are there?!

Busy, busy bees

Lately I've been feeling the enormity of life. All of it's possibilities and responsibilities swirl through my head leaving me simultaneously exhausted and invigorated. And mostly I'm just trying to keep everyone in clean clothes and fed.

We have fall break on Monday and Tuesday and I'm going to paint the dining room and our bedroom.  Yesterday I emptied out the china hutch and started taping. Just that little bit was a nice change from the monotony of work and home life.

Our bordello dining room will soon be no more!

I also have a couple of Anna and Elsa capes I need to make before Halloween, so we'll see how productive I can be this weekend.

Meanwhile, our house is newly sided and is in the process of being painted. We settled on a light gray color with darker gray trim and dark blue for the door and shutters. The painters came two days ago to caulk and apply primer. They put plastic over all our windows and doors, which makes it seem as if it's perpetually foggy outside. A cool front blew in today and I've been dying to open up the house, but we also got rain and now I'm sure we won't have any painters at our house until Tuesday. Do you think I could tear down some of the plastic? The night after they caulked, our house was filled with paint fumes and I kept waking up in the middle of the night worried we were all being poisoned.

Here it is before the primer went on.

Yesterday Maia came home from school and said "Erin doesn't like me. She says I talk too much." When I asked how that made her feel, she said "Sad." I told her that not everyone was going to like her and that I thought she was special and a wonderful friend. She seemed to bounce back pretty quickly because the next thing out of her mouth was "How come you guys don't let me play Minecraft? Gracee plays it. Have you heard of it? Do you think it's too hard for me or what? Just tell me." Then, "Let me show you something Tyler taught me. Give me five. Up high. Down low. To the side. To the other side. In the middle. Up high. In space. In your face. HAHAHAHAHA!" And earlier  she was trying out some new words she had learned: "You know what I dangit?" Where did you hear that Maia? "At school, Tyler said it." Aleks said "that Tyler sounds like a bit of a troublemaker." Maia was quick to tell us "no! He's very kind to me. He was only inappropriate once, when he told me to say poop. He's my friend, I like him. He's funny."

Kindergarten is the best. I'm so glad Maia likes to tell us things,

While Maia is opening her arms to the world, running full force, Ruby is more reserved. Taking everything in quietly and feeling so very deeply all that she encounters. There have been a few tears over going to school and some days she needs cuddles and hugs more than others. Ruby is going to be my athletic one. She loves to race ahead of us on her scooter while we are walking Isabelle. She's got incredible upper body strength and an amazing throwing arm.

Lately it feels as if I'm zooming from one place to the next, constantly working. When I'm not in the car or working, I'm at home getting things prepared so that when I am working the house can run smoothly. It was the article floating around Facebook that made me realize I'm not a stay at home mom anymore and that I don't have to try and do it all. Once that lightbulb went off, I understood why I haven't been particularly happy the past few months. And it took some of the pressure off. So now, I'm making sure that there is a bit more leisure time in my life, which does not include playing with my kids or working out, but more reading and painting and projects.

Happy weekend friends.

Chicago 2014 Edition

A week ago Aleks and I were in Chicago having the best weekend together we've had in a long time.
This week has been hectic, and while I'm bone tired, I'm grateful to have the perspective on how wonderful our trip was.

I'd just like to say that this trip wouldn't have been possible without my amazing, generous, patient, intensely helpful mother-in-law, who watched not only our girls for 3 days, but also our puppy, who is not yet house trained. Oh, and we've had workers at our house for 2 weeks putting up new siding. She put up with that as well, including the day they cut through a pipe on accident.

(Also, can we just note that the previous owners did not have the house tyvek wrapped before putting the siding up? These guys have had to replace a ton of rotted plywood. I can't tell you how good it feels to have this done.)

If Nana isn't up for sainthood, I don't know who is!

Did I mention that we had an amazing weekend? Well, we did. It was completely and entirely the best 3 days Aleks and I have spent together in a long time.

Don't let my crappy iPhone pictures distract you from fact that each day was so fabulous it was if there were butterflies fluttering and birds singing while the sun provided perfect lighting for all our adventures.

Due to delays and connections, we almost didn't make it to Chicago the night we had planned. Thankfully, my husband knows his way around a travel app and how to sweet talk the Delta employees. Magically we made it to our hotel just before midnight.

The weather was perfect and the view from our hotel reminded me how much I love city life.

After a late breakfast we walked around a bit and enjoyed being schedule free.

Then we saw some very dear friends and their new baby!

Who happens to look just like his sister. 

And also happens to love me. If love looks like falling asleep in someone's arms.

We got pedicures together and it was a really great idea. Aleks always talks about how much he loves getting pedicures, but we figured out that he hasn't had one since we've been married.

We told the girls we might bring them a gift from the American Girl Store. After being unable to find anything under a thousand dollars, we left empty handed. They got shoes from the Disney store instead. Which were too small for Ruby. So, womp womp.

Anyway, we had reservations at Rick Bayless' Topolobampo, which we were really excited about.

Two years ago we went to Frontera and saw Rick Bayless, himself! This time Rick was in L.A., but it was an amazing dinner.

7 courses with wine tastings for each course. (I didn't get a picture of the first course, which was actually my favorite, a shrimp cerviche.)

I'm still full.
Seriously.

Somehow we managed to make it back to our hotel without bursting at the seams and then met up with some old friends (they're not old, we've just known them for awhile) for drinks. 

And then the next morning we slept in until 9(!) and I believe the last time I did that was eleven years ago.

Then ate some more and browsed a record store before heading to the airport.

We got home after the girls were in bed, but we had a happy reunion the next morning.

I've been kind of a pain to live with this week. Stressed out and almost manic with everything that needs to be done. This guy has been the best. Patient with me and taking my sometimes misplaced urgency in stride. He's up for sainthood too.

I'll be storing up the memories of this weekend for a long time to come.