Happiest of Holidays

This year the house has remained a bit dirtier than usual. The carpets often have bits of fuzz or lint dotting the 20 year old fibers. When looking at our dresser at just the right angle, you can see a thorough, delicate coating of dust. The windows need washing and the basement is a constant American Girl disaster zone.

The cleanliness of our house is perhaps a testament to the busyness of our lives, but more accurately, I believe it is a reflection of our shift in priorities. This year, more than any other, we have made a conscious effort to take care of ourselves and of each other.

We've had a great year, with lots of career accomplishments and the girls' continual growth in every part of their lives. And yet, I am most proud that our little unit keeps working to communicate and encourage each other. There are days when we aren't successful and it's a constant process: learning how to best love each other. But hopefully how we treat each other as a family will translate to our relationships outside the home and maybe those interactions will be the spark that encourages others to extend grace to those around them.

We head into the new year, with the same resolution: showing kindness to all in what we say and do. May 2018 bring you peace and love. And, if you don't mind a little extra dust, there's always a bed and a hot cup of coffee for you here in Wichita.

Giving Thanks for our Patriarch

Our Thanksgiving celebration is over. The only dishes left to wash are the crystal glasses, which I'll tackle tomorrow. The girls are settled in bed, worn out from the excitement of playing with cousins all day. Our bellies are full and several new memories have been added to the cannon of family gatherings. Tomorrow we'll put up the Christmas tree with help from our family that is visiting. 

However, before this next busy season begins, I wanted to be sure to take a moment and write about my Thankfulness for family.

I'm thankful for the family that I didn't get to choose and by marriage, the one that I did. On both sides, I am deeply blessed. I am surrounded by kin that are loving, supportive, kind, and loyal.

On Sunday, November 19, my grandfather Gordon Pappas passed away. He was 95, a WWII POW, a musician, an educator, father, and husband.

In the midst of the semester and holiday, there hasn't been much time to process this loss.

Grandpa's death is hardly a surprise to our family. He was old and hardly more than a skeleton. He would often become dizzy when standing up and in the last month, a series of falls led him to realize that he could no longer take care of himself.

Grandpa desperately missed his wife Ruby, who passed away 8 years ago this Christmas. I like thinking that they are together once again.

He was a strong personality. As his granddaughter I was spared much of the angst felt by his own children. Since I already had father who loved me, I didn't need anything from him and unreservedly admired his forthrightness and integrity. I could always trust that Grandpa said what he felt.

I'm sure at a later date I will have more words about this man who made such a large mark on my life.

But for now, I want to say how thankful I am for his life. For the values he instilled in our family. He gave us his passion for music, faith, and most importantly an understanding that a love of learning is a life skill. I'm even thankful for his more challenging qualities. Because of his insensitivity towards his children, my mom and aunts and uncles are incessantly kind, empathetic, and tender hearted.

We got to see Grandpa this summer and I think I knew that this might be the last time. He was so tired.

Thank you Grandpa for all the sacrifices you made for your family. Your legacy continues on.

5 things I've learned from Crossfit

November 1 marked a year of my membership at Crossfit Calamity. I initially joined because I wanted something new
out of my exercise routine and my friend Todd encouraged me to come try it out. It has been one of the best decisions of my life, physically and emotionally.

My Crossfit box is made up of the kind of people who celebrate each victory, no matter how small. They're not the kind of people who look down on what you can't do, but at what you can. They get excited for your new PR, even though it's 100 pounds lighter than theirs.

This kind of cheerleading is not typical in my professional life and it's been so good for me to have this balance.

Physically I'm in the best shape of my life. Recently I got tired of people thinking I wasn't fit because of the extra weight I was carrying and so started a low carb way of eating. I'm happy to say, I can now see my new muscles.

Because the first rule of Crossfit is, "talk about Crossfit," I'm going to share some things I've learned over the past year.


1. Train with people who are more fit and better athletes than yourself.

The group of people with whom I workout are all really good runners. I am not a good runner. I mean, my form is fine, but I'm slow and every step is painful. My heart sinks a little each time I see a WOD that includes running and I have to consciously leave my ego in the car, because I will be the last one to finish the workout. Recently there has been a lot of running and I constantly feel like I'm lagging behind. Then one day I had to go to a class at a different time, where the running skill level was different. At the end of the WOD (in which running was included) I realized 2 things: 1. I wasn't as slow as I had perceived myself to be and 2. training with people better than myself sucked, but had raised my skill level.

When I'm surrounded by people who are better than I am, it can feel discouraging. While I feel like I'm always struggling to catch up, it's easy to lose sight of the progress I've made. I think this is important for all aspects of life. Hang out with parents who have children older than your own. Glean advice from people who have been doing your job ten years longer than you. Perform with artists who have better technique and more experience. You will constantly be pushed to improve.

2. Progress takes time.

This is particularly relevant to singing. Progress takes consistency and time. After a year, I still can't do a pull up, but I'm close. A year ago I could barely hang from the bar for 10 seconds. A year ago I never dreamed I could hold myself in a handstand, much less do a modified handstand pushup. Trusting in the process, developing a solid technique, and patience leads to success in the gym and in life.

3. Strong comes in all shapes and sizes.

It's amazing to me that the size of muscle or person does not determine how much weight they can lift. Nor does it demonstrate the size and capacity of their "engine." At this time in my life, being strong is incredibly important: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Crossfit (and therapy) have helped me know how strong I am and how much stronger I have yet to become.

4. Be the kind of person who tries to get in another rep when there are 2 sec. left on the clock.

At the end of the day, we only need to answer to ourselves and God (if that's your jam). What your colleagues, coach, and friends think of you doesn't really matter. Are you the kind of person that pushes until the very end? Or when time is almost out do you stop before the clock gets to zero? It's exhausting to be the kind of person who continually tries to better themselves. I love that in the gym, the biggest competition is myself and the intensity of workout is dependent on me.

5. Crossfit people don't care if you're a girl.

There are so many well meaning men in my life who treat me differently because I'm a girl. It is frustrating. Mansplaining is a real thing. But not at my gym. There's respect for everyone and those who are strong and fit come are both men and women.

I suppose this would be the place in this post to share a picture showing off my muscles, but I don't have any (pictures that is). But consider this an open invitation to come to the gym with me and "Get fit, don't quit" (as Maia's gym teacher says).

New Hardwood Floor Complete!

Due to our negligent puppy parenting and 20 year old carpet, I finally reached a point in which I could no longer handle the flooring in our music and dining room. So, at the end of the summer, Aleks and I decided to take it all out and replace with hardwood.

Of course I forgot to take any before pictures, I was so excited to get started on the project, but here's one from when I painted the dining room, in which you can kind of see the carpet.

We bought the product through Lowe's and then hired them for the install as well. Due to 2 batches of bad wood, the floors were finally finished 8 weeks later.

Which means we had our grand piano in our front entry way for 2 months. And our dining room table in our basement. And our china hutch in pieces in our kitchen. And the upright piano in our living room (which actually found a permanent home there because our kids played the piano waaaaay more often, practicing and just having fun). I ate breakfast and dinner standing at our kitchen island for 2 months because we only have 3 stools.

But, it's finally finished and was worth all the hassle. It's easier to clean for one thing, but just looks so much prettier.

We had some friends help us move the grand piano into the hallway at the start of all this and then placed it on a moving blanket. I was all set to call them up again for help moving it back, but Aleks and I found we could move the whole thing with one person pulling the moving blanket while the other pushed the piano. That moving blanket trick is amazing! 

Old flooring is at the bottom of this picture and the new flooring is at the top. It's not a perfect match, but it's pretty darn close!

New curtains make everything feel cozy.

I love how the grand piano is now a feature of this room. Next big project, rebuild this 78 year old instrument. It's in remarkable shape for it's age, but needs a little tender loving care.

The carpet in the rest of the house is equally old and disgusting, but we'll have to wait to replace it all. Even if we had the funds now, I need a break from all the displaced furniture!

14 years

14 years looks like a kiss and a "happy anniversary"as he heads to an all day conference and I get on a plane to Phoenix.

It means studying each other's schedules and choreographing the kid swapping and the bag packing that has to happen before each activity.

It looks like random texts throughout the day telling stories of our kids we forgot to share, or reminding one another the garbage needs to go out, or asking if the credit card bill got paid. And the occasional eggplant emoji text.

For us, it looks like fewer dates night, but increased quality of the time we are alone.

Year 14 has been a good one. Some years are easier than others. Year 13 was hard.

How grateful I am to be partnered with someone who doesn't back away from unhappiness, but instead leans into it and figures out how to make it better.

Aleks has changed a lot this year. I have too. We are simultaneously more independent of each other, yet more strongly bonded.

In this 14th year we've learned to listen to each other better and more deeply. The space surrounding our relationship feels more vibrant and energized.

We've worked really hard to build the life we have together. Undoubtedly it is the single thing of which I am most proud.

Each year life seems to become more complex with kids' ballooning schedules, career advances, and  increased household responsibilities. Yet, the one thing that is crystal clear is my partner; I see him and know him.

Happy anniversary, darling. I'm looking forward to the year ahead and all the adventures it will bring.

(Look at those babies!)

Ruby Ann is SEVEN

Soon after being born, Ruby was held in the nursery and put on supplemental oxygen. Aleks would bounce between my room and the nursery, taking pictures and videos of Ruby to assure me she was doing ok. Other than a failed attempt at feeding while I was in recovery, it wasn't until 8 hours after the birth that I got to hold my girl Ruby.

I remember my doctor checking on me at one point in the afternoon and asking "Are you crying?" as I tried to mask the tears falling down my cheeks while he checked my blood pressure. I responded "I just want to hold my baby."

It wasn't long after, that a nurse came in and told me that she had been instructed to only to keep Ruby in the nursery until dinner time. After that, she was to be with me.

When I was in the hospital with Maia, I couldn't wait to go home. With Ruby it was different.

I knew as soon as I left there would be 2 little babies who needed me (Maia was 17 months). The hospital room service, nurses, and cleaning staff was such a luxury. It felt like a honeymoon. I think I slept with Ruby on my chest the entire stay.

 It was also Aleks' goatee phase...

Thankfully Ruby took it easy on us in the beginning. She slept well and nursed well and allowed us to figure out how to keep two little girls fed, dressed, and clean.

Every year, Ruby's personality blooms just a bit more, slowly showing us the kind of human she's becoming.

Ruby will always be my #1 taste tester. Quick to sense when there's a bowl to be cleaned or a beater that needs to be licked.

Ruby has an amazing sense of style. Perhaps the best way to describe it is boho-old lady patterns-pictures of animals-sassy/urban. She cares very much about her hair and already feels angst about having curly/wavy hair.

Ruby is one of the oldest kids in her class, which means she spent one year longer at home before heading off to kindergarten. Just two years ago, we were together all the time. The transition to kindergarten was hard, but now, I see an independence and confidence in Ruby that assures me she's doing just fine.

She and I have been through some tough times. Ages 2 1/2 to 5 1/2 were particularly challenging. However, Ruby and I are quite alike. I understood, more than anyone might guess, her emotional outbursts and angry door slamming. How gratifying it would be to give in to our emotions like that. It must feel good.

Because of Ruby, my well of patience has exponentially increased. Just when I'd think there isn't one more drop from which to pull, magically, I'd find my reserves had doubled. For that, I'm grateful.

Ruby didn't get her first tooth until she was 17 months old. Now they're beginning to fall out and her face has begun to transform and any signs of the toddler she once was are fading.

There are so many things I love about my second born: her humor, natural athleticism, her strong will, empathy, and so many others.

But, the thing I admire most about my seven year old, is her willingness to keep working at things that are hard. Often Ruby will try something new and struggle. And while I'm ready to give up, she'll keep plugging away, undiscouraged, and soon enough, becomes quite proficient.

I can't take credit for instilling that quality, I believe it's just an innate Ruby characteristic. And I'm so very grateful, because I have no doubt this little firecracker is going to make a positive impact on this world.

Happy birthday, my dearest.

5 Self Care Tips for Voice Teachers

I'm nearing 20 years (!) of private teaching experience, and while I'm still don't have it all figured out, there are several things I try to habitually follow to avoid burning out.

5. Set a time each night, after which you no longer respond to student texts/emails.
With all the glorious advances in technology, it is now easier than ever for students to have 24 hour access to their teachers. Sometimes it can be really wonderful. For instance, if you need a quick response about repertoire or lesson times, it's so handy to be able to text or FB message. However, those texts that come at 9:38 PM the night before a lesson, wondering where they can get the sheet music to the repertoire you assigned LAST WEEK (for which you also gave them the website/resources to find the music), those emails? Those can be pretty frustrating. I've learned that if I set a boundary, I do not allow myself to get sucked into a student's emergency brought on by procrastination and bad planning. Most teachers I know are very giving and generous with their time, so this may seem counterintuitive. However, for my sanity, it is helpful to have a designated time when I don't feel like I have to work.

4. Stay hydrated and nourished while teaching.
Due to my husband's work schedule and our family life, I often teach several looooooong days instead of a couple hours every day of the week. This means that I typically see 6-8 students in a row, before having a break. I've found staying on top of my hydration is paramount to keeping my energy up and my vocal health in tact. Similarly, having a handful of almonds or protein bar to eat between musical phrases often helps me maintain positivity when the 8th student in a row has forgotten their music.

3. Find supportive colleagues with whom you can share ideas/frustrations/concerns.
Too often voice teachers can be competitive with one another. I am so over that culture. There are enough voice students for everyone, we all have different approaches and personalities, and I'm confident enough in my teaching that I don't need to be threatened by a teacher who is also doing wonderful work. We teachers experience many of the same challenges and by sharing those frustrations, the possibilities for solutions exponentially increase. I'm so grateful to have several colleagues in my life with whom I can share my concerns and joys.

2. Continue to pursue outlets for your own artisty.
Students are so well served by a teacher who is pursuing their own creative endeavors. Not only is it a great example for them to see us practicing what we preach, but also it allows us to be "selfish" and feed our creative souls. So many of us enjoying performing or producing or directing and have to put those things to the side as the more financial stability of teaching becomes necessary. And once you've have something to show for your work, be sure your students get to see the fruits of your labor! I'm always surprised at the instant increase in esteem after a student has been to one of my performances.

1. Only work as hard as your student.
At the beginning of the summer I began to regularly see a therapist. I was burned out and had lost my way. Upon sharing my teaching frustrations, she stopped me and said, "Let me tell you what us therapists say to each other. It's the thing that keeps us from burning out and allows us to be effective in our patient's lives: only work as hard as your patient." This 7 word motto has changed my life. She went on to say that if we continually enable our student's/patient's behavior of not taking responsibility for changing, we are effectively robbing them of growth. In essence, the very thing we are trying to do is negated by our ernest behavior. I'm learning that I can be an empathetic, loving teacher while staying within the responsibilities of my role as teacher.

Teaching voice is hard and exhausting, but can be so very rewarding. Making sure to take care of yourself will help keep you energized, excited, and eager to be in the studio.

Mommy/daughter dates

A few years ago, our family started the tradition of having mommy/daughter dates in the weeks before school begins. My girls are so close in age, that they do everything together and sometimes I forget who they are as individuals. We all love these special days.

My girls are so funny. When we were talking as a family about what each girl wanted to do, they would both decide that they wanted to do the same things. However, once I had Ruby alone and gave her some options, our plans changed.

We went to All Start Sports which has carnival rides and mini golf. Ruby had never played before, but quickly got the hang of it and by the end of our second round, she was having a hard time waiting for me to get my ball in the hole.

Ruby has matured a lot this summer. She's still my fiery little peanut, especially when she doesn't understand something, but she's learning to communicate with words instead of tantrums and outbursts are becoming less frequent. She's at that wonderful age where she's not too self aware and as a result is unintentionally cute. The other day she said "You know what? Every year I get one year older!" 

Ruby is going to have a strong start to 1st grade. Her reading skills are quite good and she will often read in the morning before coming to get us out of bed. However, if you ask her if she likes reading, she'll say no. Ruby is a little fish in the water and learned how to dive this summer. She is often playing the piano, making up pieces to play and shows a real sensitivity to sound and color. She also says she doesn't like playing piano.

Ruby is the spice in our family; she adds flavor, dimension, and interest.

Once Maia heard that Ruby went to All Star Sports, that's where she wanted to go as well. Over lunch I suggested pedicures, Barnes & Noble, and ice cream. Maia immediately thought that was a great idea. I was excited not to stomach those rides again.

(Maia just whispered in my ear "Ruby has to learn that I can't spend every moment with her." I think they're ready for the autonomy school will bring.)

This summer Maia has been reading, reading, reading. She'll come down in the morning and lie on the couch with a book while Isabelle licks her legs. I don't know what it is about Maia, but Isabelle LOVES licking her.

Maia continues to be my even keeled kid. She's rarely moody, but just this summer has started to become a little secretive. I understand that blossoming need for privacy and hope I'm respecting it in the way she needs.

Maia is beyond excited to start school. She loves learning, which is something I will never take for granted. At this point she's interested in becoming the first scientist of the family, something of which Aleks and I are very supportive. Maia loves facts and is great at "mansplaining" things. For example, she's explained to us that people in China don't know what chocolate is and that our dog is the smallest in the world because she's a Chihuahua.

Today we were driving in the car and she had her arm sticking out the window. Maia said "I can tell this wind is from Mexico because we're driving south." We were in fact driving west and there was only a wind because the car was moving. I pointed this all out to my darling daughter and she thought for a bit and then confidently replied "Well, the wind is from the east. It's from some eastern part of  America."

Maia is the sugar in our family; she makes everything sweeter with her energy and infectious smile.

I keep reminding myself that this week I will need extra patience. As excited as we all are for routine and new beginnings, inevitably these changes come with some tension. However, all signs are pointing toward a wonderful school year.

Recording session, wrapped

My recording session for SHE has concluded. The past two mornings I've woken up with vague recollections of dreams with the phrases "cross fade" and "patch" repeating in my mind. I have so many things to say about this experience that I want to share with you, and yet I'm finding it hard to create any sort of cohesive narrative.

I will have forever etched into my memory, the scent of the windscreen; it's warm metallic aroma when my eyes were closed, lost in the music and my nose would nudge close: seeing my music through it with metal hash marks a filter over my score.

I didn't realize this recording project would be such an endurance sport. The preceding months of discipline (diet, sleep, exercise, practice) enabled my body/instrument to rise to the occasion.

I firmly kept at bay the worries that can overtake any singer. What is that tickle in the back of my throat? Why is my voice sounding tired? Is this headache from tension or the start of a cold? I did not allow those thoughts to take root and tried to keep my schedule and life as normal as possible. Drinking my coffee in the morning, allowing myself to sleep in a bit later than normal, but up by 8. Going to bed at the same time. Working out. No alcohol, no sugar. 

Before this week, I made sure to practice every day, building endurance. Those vocal folds are muscles, and I figured that I could condition them, the same way athletes train large muscle groups.

We pushed hard the first day, getting though the Heggie. We recorded for 4 1/2 hours, nerves and sheer grit getting us through. When I think about Amanda, I am amazed at her endurance. In the mornings she was leading a high school musical camp, teaching choreography and songs, then coming straight to these intense recording sessions. That first day was tough for both of us and there were moments that you could visibly see the exhaustion. However, I'm so glad we pushed as hard as we did. It eased some of the pressure for the remaining days.

On the second day we got through 8 of the 11 Gordon songs, using a full 4 hours. That morning I had woken up, unsure if I was really happy with some of the last few songs we had recorded the day before. After day 2, knowing what good shape we were in, I made the decision that I wanted to rerecord some of the Heggie on our last day.

We all approached day three feeling more relaxed and laid back. Everything had gone so well. I really felt grateful for the team that I had assembled and the room and piano were cooperating beautifully. We first rerecorded the Heggie songs that I had been unsure about and then finished up with the Gordon. We recorded for 3 hours and celebrated over drinks (finally!) that night.

Aleks was amazing this week and his contribution to the project were invaluable. He kept the house running smoothly, assumed all kid responsibilities, had dinner ready when I walked in the door utterly exhausted and starving, and let me sleep in the mornings.

The next step involves editing all the different takes into a seamless record. Carter, my engineer will do the first round of editing based off the notes from my producer, Jeff. During our session Jeff would slate each take and make notes of which measures we were performing. Then after we had captured each section at least three times ("3 takes to get 1" was a common phrase from Jeff), he would mark which take we liked the best and/or, which sections from which takes we liked so that in editing, Carter would know what do cross fade or patch in.

By making this edit map as we recorded, Jeff has saved me a lot of money and Carter a lot of time during the editing process. Thank you Jeff!

Once we have an edit and mix with which I'm happy, the digital files will be sent to PARMA for mastering. Simultaneously I'll be working with the design team on the cover and liner notes of the physical album.

Once we have a finished product, it will be manufactured and PARMA will send out advance copies to reviewers. The official release date is March 2018.

(I learned this week, that in order to get onto Billboard top 100 in the classical music genre, you really only need to sell 10-20 copies. I'd really like to make it onto that chart, so help me get the word out once this album is finished!)

I am so incredibly humbled and grateful that PARMA has agreed to work with me on SHE. This company cares so much about their reputation and the quality of projects with which they are involved is extremely high.

Here is the recording session in numbers:

12 hours of recording.

203 takes.

2 committed artists.

1 enthusiastic engineer.

1 experienced, encouraging producer.

Thank you again to everyone who has helped make this week a reality. I kept experiencing these surreal moments, where Jeff would slate the take and then I'd start to sing and it just felt like magic. My voice would actually sound the note that I was intending, with the tone I wanted. How amazing is the body, that it can do that?

This week will be forever be remembered as a mountain top experience. I hope it's the first of many records.

Recording Day 1

Today was a good day.

Amanda and I recorded "Eve Song" by Jake Heggie in 4 1/2 hours and 80 takes (roughly). 

I had dreams all last night about recording engineers and producers, my anxiety making itself known as I slept.

Last night I received a text from my dad.

 

I am fully aware of how lucky I am to have parents who support my artistic endeavors. Not only do they support me in their role as proud parents, but also as fellow artists. Without them, today would have never happened.

Amanda and I came into this day fully prepared, yet nervous about what to expect. What we discovered is that we have an incredible team which is made up of our engineer and producer who are committed to getting the best performances, while creating a comfortable and easy going atmosphere. Our producer is from PARMA (the company producing the album) and the engineer is a local Kansan.

We're in good hands. And as a result, I'm enjoying the luxury of focusing on my artistry. 

As I write this, reflecting on the day, I am amazed at our combined stamina (Amanda and me) and at the unflagging response of my instrument. The biggest worry I had going into this first day of recording was if those tiny, supple vocal folds in my larynx could hang in there for 4 hours. Well, they rose to the occasion.

I think there are definitely two factors that have contributed to my vocal stamina. One is the Estill Vocal method I've been studying and implementing into my teaching and singing. Having a scientific understanding of my voice has enabled me to sing in a healthy way, while still achieving many different colors. The other is that I have completely cut out sugar from my diet for about 5 weeks now. I never considered myself to be a mucus-y singer or one that has inflammation, but after being sugar free I've noticed a huge difference.

Tomorrow we will record "Too Few the Mornings Be" by Ricky Ian Gordon.

Thank you all for your encouragement and support of this project. This album belongs to you as well.

 

T-2 days

I've been singing these songs everyday since we got home from vacation. I alternate song cycles each day, focusing on trouble spots, making sure my diction is clear, training my instrument to do what I ask of it.

Today Amanda and I had one last rehearsal, in the space where we will record. We are both ready and excited and a little nervous about what the sessions will yield. We've been working together for almost 3 years and have performed so many times together, it's hard to count.

There's not a moment I take for granted, having a collaborative partner like Amanda. At this point, I feel like we're just an extension of each other. She's right there with me if I chose to spend a little more time on a consonant than is typical. Her consistency allows me to play with interpretation and color. I'm so grateful that Amanda has been on this journey with me and that we get to experience this together.

Recording this particular CD has been a dream since grad school. I've been singing some of this material for a decade (!) and I've been actively working on making a recording for the past two years. All the note learning, text study, research, fundraising, rehearsals, scheduling, first recording sessions, babysitting, recitals, family sacrifices, budget pinching, it's all culminating on Monday.

And of course, this wouldn't even be happening if it weren't for the village of people who have supported me financially and emotionally. It's humbling, to say the least.

I can't wait to share with you how this whole process unfolds. I'll try to post some pictures of the set up and sessions next week.

Can't wait to send these out in March along with the album!

Great Bake Off: Showstopper

I know you've all been waiting with bated breath for our final Sternfeld-Dunn Bake Off challenge and a proclaimed winner.

Life became extremely busy and we kept putting off our final challenge. Honestly, I wasn't hopeful that we would actually get it done.

However, my mother in law had a birthday last week and we figured we'd take the opportunity to celebrate her with two "chocolate cakes that show off our chocolate work" while we are visiting.

The girls were very hopeful that our cake creations would take the shape of something other than cake. Knowing my limits, I decided to attempt a vase made of layer cake, with gum paste flowers coming out the top.

I decided to make cake balls out of the scraps and use as decorations.

The candy melts were ok for coating the cake pops, but I think the ones dipped in regular melted chocolate looked prettier.

I experimented with gum paste for the first time and definitely need more practice.

The final product doesn't really look like a vase, but by the end I was so over the entire project and more stressed than the experience merited that I'm just happy it didn't fall over.

The girls kept saying "it looks like the leaning tower of Pisa!"

Aleks made an "ice cream truffle" using layers of cake, ice cream, whipped cream, and ganache. He also made chocolate leaves from a mold.

The girls were very specific that they needed to taste every component.

The inside does look pretty and you can see where I attempted a crumb layer of frosting.

The inside of Aleks' was very pretty too.

The girls took their judging very seriously and took one bite of everything before moving to a different room to confer.

After much deliberation and heated debate, they came back and declared me the winner! Danni, was very diplomatic and said they both tasted and looked good.

So to recap:

Signature Challenge- Emily
Technical Challenge- Aleks
Showstopper Challenge- Emily

Overall best person/baker/champion of everything- Emily

Maia has decided that this will be an annual challenge. Aleks thinks we should do meat next year...

The Great Sternfeld-Dunn Bake Off

A few months ago I became a fan of the Great British Baking Show and binged on season 2 through Netflix.

And then one day a few weeks ago I was feeling run down, needed a break from my demanding children, and so I suggested we watch an episode of the show all together.  A special treat because TV! and it's an hour long! The girls loved it.

As a family we've watched a total of three episodes and just last week Maia had an idea that the two parents should have a bake off. I mean, it's a total no-brainer. Who wouldn't love to be a judge of baked goods? They came up with challenges and presented them for our approval.

Signature challenge: French pastry (we talked them out of making puff, I'm not ready for that)

Technical challenge: chocolate macarons

Showstopper: chocolate cake and as Maia said "it needs to show off your chocolate work."

For the first challenge I decided to make chocolate eclairs. Instead of filling them with pasty cream, I used chocolate whipped cream because I know my judges and I know they wouldn't like pastry cream and I wanted to win.

Filling them was a bit harder than I anticipated. Having the correct tools is essential and I think I needed to use a thinner and longer tip in my piping bag (the middles aren't filled with cream).

Aleks made a crepe filled with nutella.

The girls had a friend over to play that day, so she got to be one of the judges as well.

Unsurprisingly to me, the girls voted that my eclairs were the winner. I mean, I am basically the baker in the family. Although, anything with Nutella is pretty divine.

Two days later we had the technical challenge. Now in the real show, the judges are supposed to provide the recipe, while leaving out a few critical instructions. However, the girls couldn't find a recipe in the cookbooks we already had, so I found one online for us to use.

So. Chocolate macarons. I had made macarons one time before. On this day, Aleks had made his macarons while I was out, and so I came home to see them cooling on the stove top.

There was definitely a bit of pressure as the day was almost over and I needed to get them done. Because I listen to the advice given by Paul Hollywood, I know that resting time for macarons are important.

Instead of baking the sheet trays one at a time, I decided to put them both in and just rotate the pans halfway through. When they came out, I thought they looked pretty good, even if they hadn't risen too well. I'm thinking I over mixed them.

Well, womp womp. They were totally under baked and wouldn't come off the parchment paper easily. I think first of all, that I piped my macarons too big. I should have taken the time to draw equal sized circles on my parchment so that I would have a guide while piping. I think my second mistake was putting both trays in the oven at once. I suppose recipes have instructions for a reason.

The macarons were filled with chocolate ganache. Aleks and I decided to half the recipe, since we only had so much chocolate to melt. The directions said to stick the ganache in the fridge for a half hour and then it would be solidified enough to spread on the cookies. Well, mine was in the fridge for close to an hour and it was still liquid. It was at that point I realized I had only halved the chocolate for the ganache, not the cream or butter.

I was ready to throw in the towel and admit defeat, but Aleks made me put something on the plate.

So, as you might guess, Aleks won the technical challenge. Ruby felt really bad that I didn't win and told me several times that she had to go along with Maia's choice. Bless her little heart.

I'm currently in WI for a performance at the IDRS conference this week, so our show stopper challenge will have to wait until I get back. Ruby is really hoping for a chocolate bear on one of our cakes. I've got a few days to plan something that will knock their socks off.

It's a cliff hanger... who will be crowned the winner?!

Stay tuned.