Balance

For the better part of this summer, I've felt off balance. There's been the unending struggle of needing to rest and be rejuvenated, while dealing with periods of intense work. I think, I just might have bit off more than I could chew.

For one thing, there's this never-ending paint project. I've managed to paint 3 bedrooms and a major living space this summer, which is quite a lot, but there's still so much to finish. And what is it about freshly painted walls? It's like they suddenly become magnets to my children's limbs. I had no idea how often they put their feet on the walls. Their feet! And is it really necessary to drag both hands along the wall while they walk down the hall? I've taken to staring intently at certain spots in each room. Is that a shadow or a new smudge?

Obviously, out of balance.

I love what I do, professionally. One of the challenges is the constant opportunity-making that is inevitable to moving forward. This summer has been a season of planning and waiting. I'm very good at planning, but waiting has always been difficult for me. I've had to remind myself to take care of the things that I can control and to let go of the rest. It's a challenge for me to keep uncertainty from twisting itself into a tight coil in the center of my gut causing my heart to beat hard and fast in my chest.

Can you imagine what a mess I'd be if I didn't have a family to distract me from myself?

Thankfully I have two small, adorable monsters clambering for my attention the moment they wake up. This summer has marked a change in the household in that we are now a family with school age children. I think one of the biggest changes when your children have been going to school and are now home for the summer is that they want to eat all the time. We played the "mom can I have a snack?" game for about a week until I laid down the law: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner. I adore my children and love being around them and I also like my house to be neat and I like to drink a cup of coffee before having to speak to anyone in the morning.

It's all about balance. Ha!

Perhaps the thing that has most greatly affected my inner peace is the total chaos that has been our house. Part of it is a result from my insane drive to get all the painting done this summer. And redoing the upholstery on the bottom of all our couches since a certain little puppy chewed them up last summer hasn't helped either. Part of the chaos came when our upstairs AC was broken for the month of July and was basically off limits. In exciting, and related news, Aleks and I have decided to put granite countertops and a new backsplash in our kitchen. So, the chaos will continue for a few weeks more, but I've got my eye on the prize. The end is near.

Right around the corner is the start of school. I've always felt giddy anticipation about the first day of school. The year stretches ahead of us with sweaters and pumpkins edging closer every day. With school comes routine and structure, something my household thrives upon. Sure we're going to be busy again, but we've been busy all summer too. It'll just be a different busy. A busy I'm ready to welcome with open arms.

The start of school marks a new beginning, a fresh start. Maybe that's the real reason I'm always excited about school starting. It's a time to renew the oaths and truths I've let fall by the wayside while being distracted by the busyness of life.

However frustrating these periods of imbalance feel, I'm grateful for them. It is in these times that I grow patience, humor, endurance, and am enabled to experience the peace that will inevitably follow.

And maybe an uninterrupted cup of coffee?