Recharged

Maia had her last day of school and the next morning Aleks headed to Austin for his triathlon, leaving me with the girls for four days. Not only was I greeted with the shock of single parenthood, but also with the abrupt end of hectic school and work schedules. Which left me suddenly gasping for air even though I was no longer suffocated with things to do.

As artists and professors, our lives and routines are extremely varied from week to week, but the consistency of intense work and time commitments dictate the rhythm of our days. And every summer, the rug is pulled out from under us. Both parents are home at the same time. Mornings seem aimless without school to propel us out the door. It's an adjustment.

I spent those four days as a single parent, somewhat isolated from the world. There were brief moments of conversation with other adults, but they were few. I entered a bit of a depression, eating too much, looking at Facebook on my phone incessantly, watching my 600 pound life on TLC. And while I really despise feeling lethargic and am terrified of becoming deeply depressed, there was a little voice encouraging the boredom knowing that it might serve me in the long run.

During that time I also read. Aleks had been loaned A Life Without Limits by Chrissie Wellington, a world champion triathlete, and I found myself sucked into and inspired by her journey.

"Hard work and an open mind- it's the only way to realize the potential that is inside every one of us."

I also began reading Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott, whose honesty about motherhood and masterful storytelling are so incredibly motivational.

So while my world had come to a screeching stop and it felt like I was sitting on my butt (I did go to the gym several times!), ho-humming and unmotivated to practice or write, I was actually recharging the batteries that had completely run out.

Sure enough, Aleks came home and I now have a list of projects for the summer, yard work has been done, lots of laundry folded, and de-cluttering has revived my spirits.

Yesterday I even went bathing suit shopping.

If you have 3 and 5 year old girls, I strongly encourage you to bring them along. If you have two little  girls chirping how beautiful you look, they almost drown out the voices of self loathing that can knock a woman to her knees.

The girls are remembering how to play together again. Aleks and I are catching up on sleep (the dark circles are only occasional now). The air conditioning is now a constant whir in the background.

Summer: let's do this.