Things they don't teach you in grad school

Regardless of training, I don't know if anyone is ever fully prepared to face the realities of teaching voice to college age students.

We're taught IPA and diction rules for the opera singers' mirepoix of sorts: Italian, German, and French.

We know the history of opera and the giants of lieder and art song repertoire.

We cover the anatomy and physiology of our instrument and even good/common metaphors to help singers develop control over minuscule muscles.

We know how to sight read, play piano, match pitch, act, and make beautiful sounds.

Unfortunately, on the front lines of studio teaching, that just scrapes the surface of knowledge that is needed.

We're not taught how to help the student that is trying to make $65 last through the month and that not only is purchasing repertoire impossible, but also making copies for their accompanist out of the question. Or hiring an accompanist for that matter.

Also? This student is supporting his mom and brother and financial aid made a mistake which is why the monthly check won't cover rent or groceries or bills and I don't even know how they're going to make it this month.

Today is September 5, by the way.

25 more days to go...

Or the student who is a freshman, married, and stepmom to a four year old. Whose stepdaughter sometimes comes to her lesson, after preschool and before they catch the bus to head to an empty house because their husband/dad starts his second job of the day.

Meanwhile my girls are eating dinner and usually asleep when I get home.

Or the countless kids who are dealing with depression, anxiety, and other real emotional issues, which manifest themselves in defensiveness, irresponsibility, or arrogance.

99% of these kids, whose lives are hard, aren't complaining or making excuses.

My students are lovely, wonderful people and sometimes they give me a hard time, but no more than I did to my professors as I was trying to negotiate my way into adulthood and maturity.

Aleks always shakes his head about singers and singing teachers.

He thinks we get too personal in lessons.

What does it matter? Why is it my business?

And, bottom line, it's not.

But in the deepest part of my heart I really believe that I have to know who these kids are if I'm going to be an effective teacher.

I need these kids to trust me.

I'm asking them to change one of the most personal things about themselves, how they sound, and if they don't know that I care about them, they won't open up.

It also goes the other way.

Understanding the reasons behind eye rolls, or not following through on securing an accompanist, or even getting to lessons on time allows me to constantly remember that it's not about me. 

I'm sure many of my seasoned colleagues will tell me that I'm too invested or that I'll get over it the longer I teach.

As time goes on, I probably will feel less affected by the life circumstances of these wonderful people who have chosen to better themselves with more education and training, even though it makes their lives harder.

But until then, my heart is hurting for all these young people and I'm grateful for the chance to be a part of their lives, one voice lesson at a time.