10

10 years.

One decade.

5 just us.

5 with kids.

10 years feels like being so intertwined, you sometimes forget that you've worked really hard to get to this place.

It means that we are completely different people than when we got married.

Thank God we've been able to flex and grow and spread our roots without suffocating or containing the other.

Whatever you want to call it, lucky, blessed, fortunate, charmed, I feel that way about having Aleks as my partner.

How differently life could have turned out.

Why do we work when so many others don't?

There's no way to answer that, but maybe it's because he often reminds me "hey, we're on team Sternfeld-Dunn."

Or because he cares so deeply that I get to pursue whatever it is I want to pursue.

Or because he got up in the middle of the night with our first colicky baby more than his fair share.

Or because his exuberance compliments my cautiousness.

In the spirit of ten years, here are some things on which I am reflecting.

10 foods that Aleks has grown to like since we've been married:
1. mustard
2. mushrooms
3. spinach (which he pronounces "spinage" and which I give him hell for every time he says it)
4. tomatoes (cooked)
5. bell peppers
6. onions
7. raspberries
8. pork tenderloin
9. quinoa
10. wheat berries

 2003

2004

10 things I never thought my husband would be interested in:

1. biking (i have vivid memories of him cussing me out as we rode our bikes together in the Pullman hills)

2. running

3. cooking (before we got married, his speciality was rice-a-roni, now he can cook better than me. Yes, honey, I admit it, you're a better cook.)

4. growing his own vegetables

5. getting up at 5 a.m. to workout

6. buying a motorcycle

7. singing Harold Hill in "The Music Man"

8. America's Got Talent

9. getting a tattoo

10. opera

2005

2006

2007

5 things I hope to eliminate and 5 things I hope to do more of (I'll let you figure out which is which)

1. kiss

2. roll my eyes

3. micromanage

4. laugh

5. tell other people how wonderful you are

6. get upset over little things like jeans left on the floor

7. tell you that you smell bad

8. be your biggest cheerleader

9. doing that thing that he hates, but I do it anyway because I love doing it

10. let you know how much I appreciate all you do

2008

Early in our marriage, Aleks read a study that said that the majority of married couples go to bed at different times.

This greatly concerned my sweet husband and he decided that we should always go to bed at the same time.

I agreed, not feeling too strongly either way.

2009

Most nights I fall asleep in front of the couch or I say that I want to go to bed and so we head up the stairs where I read for 5 minutes or so until my eyes no longer stay open.

And more often than not Aleks stays awake on his iPad for a good hour or two more before falling asleep.

2010

I think around the time I was pregnant with Ruby, falling asleep became hard for me.

I would ask Aleks to rub my back and he obliged, making soft, light circles until I relaxed enough to sleep.

Ever since then, my husband has rubbed my back as I drift off.

Every single night.

2011

I feel like there are two significant things in this story.

One is that as small as it may seem, going to bed at the same time for 10 years has helped us stay connected.

Life isn't getting any less busy and I'm grateful that he had the idea to lay a foundation for togetherness all those years ago when life was so much simpler.

2012

And secondly, my husband rubs my back EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

That says so much about the kind of man he is.

Generous

Giving

Kind

Patient

2013

 Oh honey, what a pair we are.

Me, type A. You, the opposite of that, whatever it is.

I like things neat and tidy. You don't really notice a mess (remember all that old rice we found behind your couch when we were moving you out of your old apartment?).

I get stressed out easily. You know how to enjoy life.

And it's all these differences that have made us better together than we are apart.

I love you doesn't quite cover it.

So I'll just say "Go Team Sternfeld-Dunn!"

Here's to the rest of our lives.

Together.