"The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."
-Thoreau
Last night I got to dress up and apply lots of makeup and spray my hair with hairspray and put on my jewels and wear clothes that are so fancy you can't sit in them because they'll instantly wrinkle.
The best part of it all was that I got to stand in front of an auditorium full of people and sing while an orchestra played behind me.
This is the stuff singers dream of.
I even got a leading man out of the deal.
But hairspray doesn't hold forever and I returned to my normal, straight-haired self when my precious girls came to wake me up at 5:30 this morning.
And in my groggy state I was aware of a nagging, uninvited insecurity: was I good enough? were people wowed? were my friends being honest or just nice in their congratulations?
(When I'm being rational, I'm almost positive the answers to those questions are yes, probably some, and honest.)
"The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."
Those words have been floating around my head since I saw them pop up in my Facebook feed early in the week.
As I get older it gets easier and easier to see myself accurately, without the veil of whatever baggage I've picked up in my life.
Why is it that we always feel the need to be the best or most or greatest?
What is "best" anyway?
Especially when it comes to something as objective as art.
There is still value in the mere act of singing and offering something of oneself.
To only sing or paint or write or dance or act with the aspirations of being the best is certainly a hallow, unsatisfying journey.
So I will continue to strive to find contentment as I sing with the green finches and linnets birds and ring doves and robinets of this world and maybe along the way stumble upon some greatness.
I'll be sure to share it with you when I do.
Yes, it is not about the performer. The performer is the messenger. The performer strives to do her/his best so that her/his mistakes or weaknesses do not detract from the work of art. There is GREAT VALUE in the act of singing or offering something DEEP and HONEST and AUTHENTIC of oneself. Very few people are able to do that fully.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. That sums up so much of what is important in how we view our endeavors, artistic and otherwise. It was tremendous fun to play cello in the orchestra and accompany such wonderful singing!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I'm thrilled to find you have a blog! Secondly, I know very well that inner battle of wanting to know that you were excellent and yet needing the wider view of art that brings humility and gratitude for just being able to create. AND THAT QUOTE! I might turn it into a poster for my classroom.
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