Double Digits!

10 years ago today a very loud, dark haired baby made me a mom. 

It took 2 inductions (neither of which worked) and a c-section to get her into the world. If I had known that she would scream at me for the next 8 months, I would not have complained about her lateness.

It's so strange to remember what a difficult baby she was in the beginning. Everyone would tell me to feed her more, or co-sleep, or sleep train, or give her a bottle, or just let her nurse all day long. They didn't understand that she a) didn't sleep and b) she liked to scream. Some call it colic. Whatever it was, it wasn't fun.

But then, she said her first word at 6 months; pointed at the duck on Aleks' shirt and said "duck." 

And weaned herself at eight months (oh, hello Ruby). 

And then we had another baby in the house (one that actually slept and behaved like a normal newborn) and Maia was a non-stop chatter bug, having given up the screams for an extensive vocabulary.

Ten years ago.

Man, how is it that I'm still 27 and have a 10 year old?

(ok, maybe she did sleep a little bit)

Obviously, I don't know differently, but that challenging beginning as a parent, that baptism by fire, was probably just what I needed. A full immersion experience/life is turned upside down/you'll function on 4 hours of sleep a night for 8 months/nothing like what you expected start to parenthood.

Oh, but the young lady my daughter is becomming- it's a beautiful thing to watch.

My 10 year old girl still talks up a storm. She is constantly using words she's read in books, but doesn't quite know how to pronounce. And speaking of books, she told me she's read all the books in her school's library.

She is weird, in the best possible way. 

Earnest and ethical.

Kind. Thoughtful. Has a great sense of humor.

She experiences life with all her senses. Her room looks like a bomb went off and yet she knows where each earring back/rock/bookmark is located.

She brings light to our family.

Happy birthday, my dearest. Those first 8 months were so worth it.

5 Tips for a successful audition

Audition season is upon us! Josh and I thought we'd share with you some tips on how to have a successful MTWichita Teen Choir audition.

Since we work directly with MTWichita, this post is geared toward that specific audition. However, these tips are applicable to most music theater auditions and we hope you find them helpful!

(A short note: Following all these tips does not necessarily mean you'll get selected. However, you will have a successful audition, meaning: you've prepared everything you can control and demonstrated your abilites and who you are with confidence.)

Since we get asked about numbers frequently: Last year about 160 teens signed up to audition and 102 were selected for teen choir.

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First things first: READ ALL THE INFORMATION online and provided to you before calling, emailing, or asking questions. Almost always, the answers are there if you take the time to read the information that was given in the first place.

1. Audition material: song
MTWichita's website states: "Teens should have a cutting of a song prepared for their singing audition time that is around one minute in length."

If you are auditioning with hopes of being cast as a teen in one of the shows as well as being considered for teen choir, it is a great idea to sing a song in the style of one of the shows or by the same composer. It is also a good idea to have a second, contrasting option in the event the panel would like to hear a second selection. Each song cutting should not exceed one minute.

Some thoughts about cuts: Make sure they make sense textually and musically. Cuts should be clearly marked on the music you hand your accompanist. The music you hand your accompanist should be in the correct key, clean (no extra markings, tears, wrinkles, etc.), double sided, and in a three ring binder. Some auditionees like to put their music into plastic sleeves; this is a great option.

Come to your singing audition looking like a teenager and your age. There is no set dress code, but wear something that helps you feel confident and professional.

2. Audition material: dance
Some of you are accomplished dancers and know what to expect from a dance call. For some of you, this is brand new. Regradless of your experience, it is important to approach the dance call with a mindset geared toward learning. No one will be able to do the dance combination perfectly. The audition is really about seeing you progress, try, and not give up. Never walk off the dance floor. Even though you are trying to pick up on the combination and remembering what comes next, your face needs to be telling the story and performing.

Come to your dance audition looking your age. You should wear something form fitting that you can move in. Baggy or very loose clothing obscures your lines and technique, both of which are important to see. Definitely wear shoes you can move in and if you have jazz shoes, those are best.

3. Printed materials
Again, be sure you've read all the posted information online and have printed out the correct forms. Fill them out completely and cleanly. If you don't have a lot of experience, that's fine! Just use the provided audition form to list that experience and attach a headshot.

If you have more experience and want to include a seperate resume, that's great, too. There are lots of templates for professional looking resumes. If you're not sure about how to format yours, ask your teachers (voice/drama/dance), do some research online, and compare with your friends.

Your headshot should look like you on a good day. No glamour shots! (I think I just aged myself) If you don't have a professional headshot, don't stress out. Often a school picture will work fine. Or with a little online research, a photo taken with a cell phone can work as well. Again, your teachers, friends, and the internet are great resources for this.

4. Practice the things that you can control
You have absolutely no control over the casting decisions.

You do have control over the level of preperation of your songs, what you wear, how you slept the night before, your level of hydration, how you will communicate to the pianist your tempos and cuts, and most importantly, your attitude. Isn't that cool?! All those things can be practiced and performed in a mindful way.

In the weeks leading up to your audition, be sure that you are singing your songs in front of people and with different accompanists. The more you are able to put yourself into a mock audition situation, the more comfortable you will feel when it counts.

5. Audition Day
There's a saying in show business: 10 minutes early is on time and on time is late. Be sure you arrive early to your audition in order to check in, gather yourself, and breathe before your audition time.

Treat all the room monitors/check-in people (who are volunteering their time) kindly and respectfully. They are your first allies and will be able to help with any questions.

The hardest and most important thing to remember is this: be yourself. The people in the room want to like you and enjoy what you have to offer. They are rooting for you from the moment you sign up for an audition time. Try to enjoy yourself and let them know who you are through your song and dance.

We hope this helps and inspires you to head into audition season with enthusiasm and confidence!

Thanksgiving 2018: DC edition

This year for Thanksgiving we decided to do something totally out of the norm for our family. We took the girls out of school for two days, met Aleks in Washington DC and spent the week walking, visiting as many museums as we could handle, and having some much needed, concentrated family time. The girls are at a wonderful age for adventuring and this experience made me realize how important it is to travel as a family.

Here's why I think it's important for kids to travel:

We all try new things.
Maia tried 6 new foods on this trip. Granted, they were mostly 6 different bread based foods, but for her it was a really big step forward.

(Here she is eating not a new food, but one of her favorite treats.)

We are made more grateful for what we have.
Using public transportation and living in a basement apartment for 5 days made me aware of how fortunate we are to have such a huge house and live in a place that is so affordable and easy to get around (if you have a car).

Seeing new sights is inspiring.
So many things in DC are asthetically pleasing to look at. The columns outside the reptile house at zoo had carved stone turtles at their base. The Natural History Museum's stone steps were concave from decades of feet that had used them. The row houses in different colors were a feast for the eyes. Ruby kept saying "this is so facinating!" And of course, all the art. The National Portrait Gallery was beyond inspiring (even though my kids were over. it. at this point).

We see outside ourselves.
One of my kiddos asked "why are there so many people here with dark skin?" It made me realize that it's my responsibility to give them the chance to experience places and people that are different from what we know day to day.  I'm doing a disservice to my children if I don't help them see outside themselves and the privelege into which they've been born. Traveling helps them to see beyond our little land locked midwest island and will hopefully grow their empathy and keeps their minds open.

We are made uncomfortable and then have the opportunity to grow.
Walking in the cold, using public transportation, and having limited resources all can be uncomfortable. But because of these things, my kids increased their body awareness, how to walk in a crowd, mastered escalator ettiquette, and improved their capacity for patience.

She decided she was done walking and plopped down while waiting for the light to change. Not pictured: the cars zipping by 2 feet away from the curb.

And to be transparent, I fully recognize that we are beyond priviledged to be able to travel as a family of four and that it's not possible for everyone. Add it to the list of things for which I'm thankful!

We hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Love, Us

Bathroom Remodel: Worth Every Penny

Our house was built in 1997 as some of the new construction following the 1991 Andover tornado.

There are many things we love about our house. However, we have always hated our bathroom. It's huge, but the space wasn't used in an effecient way and it was extremely dated.

Admittedly, the large bathtub was handy when the girls were little. I'd put Ruby in there (without any water and before she could walk) as a way to keep her contained while I took a shower. Now that they're bigger, the tub was hardly used and Aleks and I just got fed up with the tiny, oddly shaped shower.

So, we decided to finally bite the bullet and remodel the space into something we love. Aleks did all the work securing the loan and the contractor and I took the lead in designing and communciating with the workers.

Here's our bathroom before:

And here it is, one month and a week later. (Totally worth the wait.)

In place of the tub, I had a makeup counter installed, which takes advantage of the natural light coming in. Now, I just have to learn how to do my makeup!

The shower material is Onyx, a man made product. What I like about this product is that there are no grout lines to clean. I adore subway tile, but to use all tile would have put our house out of the price range for our neighborhood. While we did this remodel for ourselves and not necessarily resale value, I wanted to be somewhat responsible.

And a bench in a shower is just the best.

Our fixtures are all brushed nickel, but the light fixtures have some brass and when I saw these mirrors I thought the brass frame would help soften all the gray. I have no idea if I'm "allowed" to mix metals, but I like the way it turned out.

Aleks was really wonderful about trusting my taste and vision. He admittedly had some reservations about round mirrors and a few other things, but is thrilled with how it all turned out.

The makeup counter and vanity were both custom built, so I asked for a laundry basket drawer. It's one of my favorite things about the bathroom.

I didn't want a huge makeup counter, so there wasn't room left for drawers.

We ended up designing the vanity so that drawers pulled out from the side and are easily accesible while I'm sitting at the makeup counter.

The graphic back splash really warms up the room and adds interest.

Our contractor suggested a darker grout to match the tile. I insisted on a lighter shade and I'm really glad I did.

The stained wood shelves are another favorite of mine. They match the makeup counter top and light fixtures.

We are so glad we decided to do this. Our conractor was wonderful. He was a great communicator, worked clean, and tried to save us money whenever he could. Let me know if you'd like his contact info!

15 years!

I'm sure most of the people at our wedding thought we were too young to be getting married. Some family members and friends had told us their opinions outright. Some kept it to themselves. But there were also a few in attendance who believed that we knew what we were doing.

I remember crying as I walked down the aisle (and throughout my vows), not because I was sad or anxious, but instead, overcome with the magnitude of it all. As a result, there are no pictures of me in that moment. I'm not a pretty crier.

I remember an epic toast by my maid of honor Erin who, perfectly balancing humor and love, convinced a few of those doubters that we'd be ok.

(my dad married us *inset heart eyes emoji*)

As my college roommate for 3 years, Erin and I knew each other in ways only roommates can know one another. In particular, and lucky for her, she was aware of my self-diagnosed disorder: P.F.A., otherwise known as Public Farting Anxiety. I refuse to pass gas in front of other people, to the point of causing myself discomfort.

As Erin shared my disorder at our reception with our closest friends and family, she went on to tell about a night I returned home from a date with Aleks. I came into her room and said, "I think he's the one. I farted in front of Aleks tonight."

And here we are, celebrating 15 years of marriage.

Aleks, you're still my favorite person. I hold you in highest esteem, respect you and your opinion, and am constantly overwhelmed by the way you father our children. Actually, I'm not sure we knew what we were doing 15 years ago, because I didn't love you a fraction of what I do now.

There is no better partner for me.

Thank you for being the kind of man who encourages me to let my farts out.

Eight Years Old

She now takes her own shower, followed by a blow dry and straight iron session.

When I wore a fashionably questionable pair of pants, at which both Aleks and Maia wrinkled their noses, Ruby's opinion was the one that convinced me to put them in the give away pile.

The other morning Ruby was particularly tired and asked me for a cup of coffee.

She makes a lot of her own food now: hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, slices cheese for cheese and crackers.

She sleeps with a weighted blanket and wears noise canceling headphones.

She loves Isabelle more than anything and just wants to cuddle and hug that poor dog all day long.

She's a girl with big emotions; as quick to laugh and hug as she is to be impatient and snap. When she wants, she is good at understanding the emotions of others and tending to their needs.

Ages 2 1/2 to 4 1/2 were dicey, at best. But, my oh my, what a delight and joy this girl is to our family and all those who know her.

I suspect we'll always need to encourage her to find ways to manage her anxiety and sensitivity, but watching her continue to grow and mature is an exciting privilege.

Seven was magical. I'm so excited to see what eight will bring.

4 things you should know about your child's music lessons and their teacher

I've been a music teacher for almost 20 years. It's a fulfilling career in so many ways: at the forefront is the connection created with other humans through music making. However, as with any job that involves a service of some sort, we rarely think of the human being behind the service we receive.

Here are four (and a half) things to consider that will help your music teacher feel like a valued member of society.

1. Your initial interaction tells us a lot about how lessons are going to go.
Here's a message I received the other day requesting voice lessons:

Hello! I heard through (...) that you give voice lessons.. she mentioned that you may be full until January, but I wondered if it would be possible to be put on your list of students then? Thanks (...)

You may read this and think, what's the big deal? First problem, this was sent on FB messenger, from someone I do not know, nor do I really know the person from whom she received the reference. If you google my name, my website will pop up as the first hit. I have spent considerable time designing and creating content for this site, and I even pay an annual fee! On this website there is copious information about my teaching philosophy and policy. There is also a place to send an email.

A random FB message indicates your level of interest and commitment. Think about it. Would you FB message a new doctor to get an appointment? Or realtor? Or chiropractor?

A further problem with this lesson request is the lack of context. Are the lessons for you or your child? Have you had lessons before? Why do you want to take lessons? All this information, when included at first contact tells us that you have given thought as to why you want music lessons and are interested in finding a good fit.


2a. Even though music lessons are a hobby for your student, they are your teacher's work.
Yes, we love what we do. Yes, we are lucky to be able to make music all day. However, it is still a job. I've received many comments over the years from parents who off-handedly comment on the luxury of my non-tradional work hours, or intimate that I'm soooo lucky to play piano all day, all of which are not meant to be demeaning, but undermine the craft and effort that underlie my profession.


2b. Late payments mean your teacher may not be able to pay their bills.
Chances are, your music teacher makes their living giving lessons. Even though you may view lessons as non-essential, they provide the bread and butter for your teacher.


3. You student is not entitled to music lessons.
Music lessons are intense. They are one on one. You or your student is being asked to think critically. It's hard work. It's also incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. If you approach lessons expecting to be spoon fed, constantly praised, and micro-managed, you are doing yourself and your teacher a disservice.


4. We music teachers are your biggest fans.
I get to see many of my students more often than they get to see their grandparents. I come to know their lives and hear about the challenges and joys they experience each week. I get to see growth and vulnerability. Music teachers are some of the most generous, supportive, loving people I know. We're in this business because we like connecting with other humans and communicating through music. And there is nothing more exciting to us than seeing our students thrive in all ways, big or small.


While music lessons aren't an essential service, they are undoubtedly essential to functional humanity and I'm grateful to be a contributor.