Day 1: Out of no where there's a sore spot in the back of my throat. I notice it while I'm teaching. No no no no no no no. I can't be getting sick. I begin Neti pot usage, but I think I'm too late.
Day 2: Lymph nodes are swollen. I feel feverish during my church gig.
Day 3: Congested. I skip my swim workout today. I figure rest will do me more good than exercise. First day of opera rehearsal (of course) but I can sing. All the stuff is in my sinuses and doesn't affect my voice.
Day 4: Still pretty congested and my energy is down. The stuff must be as thick and dense as cement, because it's not coming out when I blow my nose. I can feel it growing and becoming more powerful by the hour. It's hiding up in my sinuses where the Neti pot can't reach it. It's a smart little bugger. However, I can still sing, so I'm feeling like all is not lost.
Day 5: More of the same. However, I'm able to blow out some seriously dark green, thick snot. I have the day off rehearsal, which I'm hoping will help speed the healing process.
Day 6: I'm feeling a bit better in the morning so I go to swim, which effectively clears out my sinuses. I'm feeling good at home and sit down to practice. Throughout the hour I can feel the mucus descending into my throat. F*ck.
Day 7: I have very little voice in the morning and still lots of congestion. This is the first time I've ever been sick while having singing commitments. I'm not really sure what to do. If I had a student who sounded like me, I'd tell them not to sing. But. I'm pretty sure my chords aren't swollen, that it's just the gunk on the chords that's causing the problem. Also, I can't afford to take a day off from rehearsal, this score is really difficult. On the other hand, I can't afford to damage my voice either. I decide to sing through the 2 hour rehearsal. It's not pretty, but I figure I have the weekend to recouperate.
Day 8: Still sick. Still no voice. It's too bad I have to teach today, otherwise I could stop talking altogether. I feel like I'm never going to get well. My gut tells me I just need to be patient, but I'm having a hard time. Aleks assures me that I will most likely NOT die from a cold.
Day 9: My voice is the worst it has been. Husky and inconsistent. At times I can't phonate. I sound like a dying goose in the morning. By evening things are starting to move around. I've blown out more snot than I knew I could produce. I'm coughing a lot more as well. I'm not sure if I'll be able to sing tomorrow, it could go either way. I make myself rest and it's the best decision I've made so far.
Day 10: In the morning I don't notice a whole lot of change. There's still lots of gunk in my throat and I'm blowing out tons of green stuff. It does seem to have thinned considerably. And it's lighter in color. Miraculously my voice seems to be coming back. There is a hint of the instrument I have, even though it is temperamental and husky. I sing in rehearsal. At this point I'm not sure if that's the right decision. I still don't think my cords are swollen, but I'd hate to exacerbate the situation.
Day 11: I put myself on vocal rest and only talk minimally during my 4 hours of teaching. (FYI, it's really really difficult to teach voice lessons when you can't really talk.) Rehearsal isn't great, but I can hear my voice coming back and it's clearer than last night. The most frustrating thing is that this score requires lots of muscle memory. It's hard to find starting pitches and many times I rely on how it feels in my body to know if it's correct. Since I'm sick, it's near impossible to rely on my body.
Day 12: I'm going to say it. I think I'm getting better. I don't have rehearsal today and I only teach for a short while, so my voice will get a break. However, it's definitely clearer and the mucus is starting to lessen. It's the first time I've started to feel hopeful.
Day 13: This morning when I wake up there's hardly any mucus. My throat is mostly clear and I think I'm at the tail end of this bug. Finally. Today we start singing through the opera, but I'm going to have to be careful not to overdo it. I'm sure my cords aren't as strong and supple as they usually are.
Hopefully tomorrow I'll be even further down the road to complete health. It's been a long time since I've been sick and especially as a singer, it is so frustrating. Here's hoping my family doesn't catch this bug!
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Boredom
My mom and I were once discussing *light* topics such as climate change and the future of our planet. My wise mother commented that the tool our children will need to make this planet a better place is their creativity. The future of this world will depend on our children finding new and inventive ways to solve the problems we have failed to fix. In light of this, and also because of how I was raised, encouraging creativity and independent thinking in my children is one of my top priorities and challenges as a parent.
Creative play is something I fiercely protect. I often feel tempted to provide my kids opportunities for dance classes, piano lessons, and team sports. I want them to experience as much as I can afford to offer. It's hard to quiet the competitive mom voice in my head that tells me they need to start those things NOW! However, for our family, at this time, I've found that we are at our best when we have a minimally scheduled day. Truly, I feel such a sense of peace and gratitude when I've been able to provide a day for my kids that allows them to play hard. The thought of them being in school all day with only a few hours between coming home and bed time makes me anxious.
*I should add, that I have many friends and people I respect whose lives are vastly different from ours. I'm certainly not advocating that our way is the best, it's just best for us at this point.*
I heard a story on NPR the other day in which Manoush Zomorodi is encouraging listeners to unplug from their phones and allow themselves to become bored. In the piece it is mentioned that "studies suggest we get our most original ideas when we stop the constant stimulation and let ourselves get bored."
My kids have unequivocally proved this to be true. After we have allowed the kids some screen time, either on the iPad or TV, they will often come out of that experience grumpy (Ruby), aimless, and argumentative. I'm usually trying to get ready for work at this point and have zero patience for the whining and bickering between the two. However, if I can grit my teeth and wait it out, within 5 minutes they are usually immersed in creative play.
Some of their recently popular games include "Friend" and "Dear". Both games involve role play, sometimes both girls are multiple characters, and from what I can tell, there is a lot of moving toys from one room to the other. Yesterday while they were playing "Friend" they got backpacks and babies and suitcases and went on the airplane (two dining room chairs) to visit grandma and nana. While on the plane there was a lengthy discussion about who was going to ride in which car when they landed and if they would ride together.
Just today I was invited to play "Friend" with Ruby as we were waiting for Maia to come home from school. I was Elizabeth and Ruby was Sparkles. The game consisted of a conversation about real life things (like Ruby going to Cottonwood as a kindergartener), but as Elizabeth and Sparkles.
"Dear" involves "dear" (a kid) and "mom." There is a lot of "dear, we need to get our babies" and "dear, let's get ready for bed." At first this game confused me because there are a lot of "mom"s involved, but they aren't directed at me. I now know that when they say "mom" they're playing and if they're talking to me, I'm "mommy."
They transition so seamlessly between characters and real life and play, it's staggering.
I wonder how long this intense play will last. I hope they never lose their freedom and imagination. I'm sure it will manifest itself in different ways as they grow older. I think for myself, somewhere among the responsibilities and chores and career, time spent for dreaming and thinking and play has been lost. So I'm going to take a cue from Ms. Zomorodi and the way I parent my children. I'd like carve out and allot some time for boredom, which will hopefully enrich and inspire my writing and sense of play on stage.
Creative play is something I fiercely protect. I often feel tempted to provide my kids opportunities for dance classes, piano lessons, and team sports. I want them to experience as much as I can afford to offer. It's hard to quiet the competitive mom voice in my head that tells me they need to start those things NOW! However, for our family, at this time, I've found that we are at our best when we have a minimally scheduled day. Truly, I feel such a sense of peace and gratitude when I've been able to provide a day for my kids that allows them to play hard. The thought of them being in school all day with only a few hours between coming home and bed time makes me anxious.
*I should add, that I have many friends and people I respect whose lives are vastly different from ours. I'm certainly not advocating that our way is the best, it's just best for us at this point.*
I heard a story on NPR the other day in which Manoush Zomorodi is encouraging listeners to unplug from their phones and allow themselves to become bored. In the piece it is mentioned that "studies suggest we get our most original ideas when we stop the constant stimulation and let ourselves get bored."
My kids have unequivocally proved this to be true. After we have allowed the kids some screen time, either on the iPad or TV, they will often come out of that experience grumpy (Ruby), aimless, and argumentative. I'm usually trying to get ready for work at this point and have zero patience for the whining and bickering between the two. However, if I can grit my teeth and wait it out, within 5 minutes they are usually immersed in creative play.
Some of their recently popular games include "Friend" and "Dear". Both games involve role play, sometimes both girls are multiple characters, and from what I can tell, there is a lot of moving toys from one room to the other. Yesterday while they were playing "Friend" they got backpacks and babies and suitcases and went on the airplane (two dining room chairs) to visit grandma and nana. While on the plane there was a lengthy discussion about who was going to ride in which car when they landed and if they would ride together.
Just today I was invited to play "Friend" with Ruby as we were waiting for Maia to come home from school. I was Elizabeth and Ruby was Sparkles. The game consisted of a conversation about real life things (like Ruby going to Cottonwood as a kindergartener), but as Elizabeth and Sparkles.
"Dear" involves "dear" (a kid) and "mom." There is a lot of "dear, we need to get our babies" and "dear, let's get ready for bed." At first this game confused me because there are a lot of "mom"s involved, but they aren't directed at me. I now know that when they say "mom" they're playing and if they're talking to me, I'm "mommy."
They transition so seamlessly between characters and real life and play, it's staggering.
I wonder how long this intense play will last. I hope they never lose their freedom and imagination. I'm sure it will manifest itself in different ways as they grow older. I think for myself, somewhere among the responsibilities and chores and career, time spent for dreaming and thinking and play has been lost. So I'm going to take a cue from Ms. Zomorodi and the way I parent my children. I'd like carve out and allot some time for boredom, which will hopefully enrich and inspire my writing and sense of play on stage.
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