Greatness

Today is the first day back in the office.

It's been ripe with repertoire choices, catching up with students, and giving subtle (well, actually, not so subtle) nudges to students who are still not enrolled.

I had 4 days after our trip to Arizona to recharge and get the household in order.

To his credit, Aleks had the house spic and span when we arrived. 

There was no evidence of the raging house parties and bachelor behavior that took place while we were gone.

During our visit, my brother Matt asked me if I felt the need for greatness in my life. 

It's a good question.

I think that my 20s were largely spent searching for greatness in a broad and public way.

I did a brief stint in the opera audition circuit. Then decided to start my own opera company.

All wonderful things, but looking back, they were vastly unfulfilling.

Now that I'm (just barely!) on the other side of 30, I think I still want to achieve greatness.

But now I don't really care whether other people know about it or not.

Maybe my children have just drained me from all energy that I might otherwise spend caring.

Or maybe it's just part of growing up.

I do know that letting go of some of those desires has allowed me to be affected by others in deeper, more meaningful ways.

I find myself blinking back tears at the most random times.

Like when I took the girls to vote this November.

Or anytime the lights dim on stage and the first notes appear out of thin air.

Aleks and I went to grad school with a guy named Richard Kriehn. He became a close friend and we've stayed in touch through our many moves.

Richard plays fiddle, mandolin, and guitar (even sings sometimes) for Garrison Keillor as a member of the All Star Shoe Band. APHC just happened to be in Arizona the same weekend I was there and Richard was able to get tickets for me last minute.

(I took my dad who is a long time listener. He and my mom used to stick my brother and me in the bathtub for an hour so they could listen to the show. By the time Garrison signed off, we'd be shivering from the cold bathwater. And I remember sitting outside the house in the car with my dad on a Sunday afternoon, waiting for a Guy Noir skit to wrap up before heading into the house for lunch.)

There's nothing quite like seeing the red "on air" sign light up. It's pure magic.

And Richard was great.

This is a horrible picture, but Richard is the white blur sitting down.

I love that so many people know how cool he is.

Kelle Hampton, the author of a blog I like to read, wrote this the other day, "Right now,  I have two girls who challenge me to be the woman I want them to become."

I've been struggling in my greatness as a parent to Ruby.

It's like I'm a first time parent all over again.

Look at the sweet earnest face.

She can make me so mad. And I hate that.

Aleks and others keep reminding me that it's just a phase.

I'll tell you what, it sure feels like she hates me.

So, I just try to kiss her and tell her I love her every single minute of the day.

And look at this picture a lot.

Especially those little eyebrows.

And while we're speaking of greatness, how about this expression?!

Maia went to the dentist for the first time and nailed it.

So, what's my point in this rambling post?
I guess, it's that greatness is something for which we all yearn.
And to encourage you that even though your greatness may not be known on a large scale, it doesn't diminish the fact that you are great.

Get on with your bad self and enjoy the weekend!

Things

I should be writing my syllabus. It's really crunch time now, school starts on Tuesday.

I'll do it next. I promise.

We've been spending a delicious week with my parents in Phoenix. The tumultuous airplane trip to get here has faded from memory and now we're enjoying our time together and warm weather.

I think I might have even gotten sunburned yesterday.

You know you're home when there are butterscotch chips in your mom's fruit salad. Or your kids get a banjo lesson before the sun comes up. And there is nothing like the feeling of the same yellow tupperware measuring cups in my hand that I used as a child.

Oh, and the vegetables! I can always count on getting my proper share of fruits and vegetables when I'm with mom and dad. 

I can't quite believe that I'm at the age when going to mom and dad's is really going to Grandma and Papa's house and I'm responsible for 2 little petunias (dad's nickname). Or that I drink my coffee black.

My gorgeous sister-in-law is 34 weeks pregnant with a little boy. Soon there will be some testosterone to even out the three little girls that currently rule the roost. 

A bow tie in the midst of tutus.

Have a lovely weekend, friends.

The downward spiral of a 2 year old's sleeping habits

It started out innocently enough.

We moved Ruby's pack and play into our room while traveling, to help comfort her when she woke up disoriented in the middle of the night.

And then when she would wake up at ungodly hours we'd pull her into bed with us to hopefully try and catch a few more minutes of sleep.

I guess it really started to go down hill the day we went to the Children's Museum in Portland. 

The plan was to go to the museum in the morning, leave around lunch time, tank the kids up with food, and have them fall asleep for the 1 1/2 drive home.

Instead they stayed awake the entire time, we had some trouble finding food, and I got really cranky. Really really cranky.

When we got home I piled the girls into bed with me and we all fell asleep in about 2 minutes.

I woke up before they did and had a minute to think about how sweet it was to all be napping together. 

This is the first time that we've had a family nap.

Then when I couldn't go back to sleep, I started wishing I had my phone to entertain me.

Soon after that, putting Ruby down for bed started taking longer and longer. We'd have to stay outside her closed door and reassure her we were still there when she'd start to cry. Which turned into keeping her door open so she could see us while falling asleep. Which then morphed into sitting on the floor next to her bed until she fell asleep, then sneaking out and quietly shutting her door.

You might be asking, what would happen if you didn't do that?

Well, she'd start crying and screaming. And honestly, Aleks and I are ok with that to a point. But in a house that isn't ours, surrounded by family (supportive, understanding family) who are also affected by a screaming two year old, we tend to do things differently than we would do at home.

There was one more group nap event. The girls were over-tired and amped up. I figured if we all were in bed together I could more directly encourage them to sleep. It took them significantly longer this time, Maia and Ruby were playing together and Ruby kept adjusting and trying to get the blankets "just right." However, I did think ahead to bring along my phone and a magazine in case I couldn't sleep. 

As you can see when we sleep together, my kids like to be all up in my business.

Two nights before we flew home, Ruby turned into hellion. She woke up when we snuck into the room for bed. "Mommy, cuddle!" was her refrain and Aleks let her into our bed. That was a rookie mistake because once you let that kid into our bed, she's not going back without a battle royale. I had resigned myself to the fact that she was just going to sleep with us and usually it's not a big deal. However, this night she was obsessive with the covers and could not hold still. She'd cry when the covers weren't just right and she'd cry if we tried to help her and she'd cry if we didn't help her.

I'll save you the gory details. 

Basically we didn't sleep more than 2 hours in a row that night.

The next night we found ourselves in a hotel due to an early morning flight.

Ruby and I shared a bed, and again, it took her a really long time to fall asleep. There was lots of shifting and spreading out of her blanket. Enough so, that it made me think she might be OCD. Can a 2 year old have that?

At any rate, the next day of travel was tricky. Ruby didn't nap. On our last flight from Denver into Wichita, Ruby started having a meltdown on the descent. Flight attendants be damned, I scooped Ruby into my arms and held her really tightly. Within 30 seconds she was fast asleep. Thankfully, the flight attendants just happened to look at the other side of the aisle when they did their final check. Ruby slept through the landing, deboarding, and collection of luggage. She woke up shortly before Aleks came around with the car.

Aleks and I had decided that reprogramming was going to take place immediately upon our return. Our first night back was tough. Sleep training a 2 year old is so so so so so so so much harder than when they are 6 months old. 

That first night Maia and I slept in the basement.

The second night was marginally better. Aleks did have to stand in the hallway for about 30 minutes.

However, there are 2 things.

1. Last night, Ruby slept through the night and only cried for 30 seconds before she fell asleep.

2. After a good night's sleep, the horridness of the past week has already started to fade from memory.

Tonight, bedtime was rough again, but I'm optimistic that we'll rest well.

You know, eventually they do outgrow this sensitive sleeping stuff and can be more flexible with schedules and sleeping environments. But, I've realized something. Just because they get older doesn't mean I'm going to get better sleep. The sleepless nights from late night feedings or 2 year old tantrums will give way to tossing and turning on the evening of their first sleepover and Prom night.

So, if you're childless and contemplating starting a family, consider this: good, consistent sleep may be the biggest sacrifice you make as a parent.

If I wanted to make this a happy ending I would put a picture here of my adorable cherubs and tell you that it's worth it. 

And it is. 

And it also sucks. 

But, if it wasn't hard, it wouldn't be a sacrifice. And when it comes down to it, I love my kids more than I love sleep.

I think...

Occupied travelers

We arrived home yesterday, late afternoon, after a long day of travel.

Our trip probably totaled 10 hours.

And the girls had to be sitting down for about 8 of those hours.

Thankfully, Maia is just getting to the age where occupying her mind is getting easier and easier.

Ruby still needs physical distractions for the most part.

I thought I'd share some of the things we brought with us to keep the girls entertained.

We picked up these books from Target. There are Baby Einstein and princess editions, but these are Mickey Mouse themed.

The books are 4 "pages" long with one sentence a page, so they are easy to read.

Not only do both Maia and Ruby like hearing the stories, but Ruby really enjoys pulling the books out and figuring out how they fit back in.

Also, after they hear the books a couple of times, they like to read them on their own.

My mom sent these to the girls as Christmas presents.

They especially loved the silly faces one and came back to play with them after all the new Christmas toys had been opened.

We picked up this wonderful toy at the Portland Children's Museum.

It is the PERFECT toy for Maia.

It's a magnetic board with different sheets that can slid in and out. The sheets are double sided and contain different pictures made out of shapes.

The shapes are wooden and have a magnetic backing.

The only issue is that precarious time when your 3 year old is pulling the the wooden blocks from the bag and placing them on the magnetic board.

However, I don't think we left any pieces on the plane.

Maia loved it so much that she asked to do "projects" during our layover.

And of course, it's Melissa and Doug. God bless them.

We try to limit screen time with our kids, but long travel days call for all kinds of resources. So in addition to books (thin ones that don't take up a lot of room; this time it was mostly Pinkalicious and Berenstain Bears) we also downloaded some of the kids' favorite tv show onto our iPads.

We had Dinosaur Train, Word World, and Daniel Tiger.

When I was little we were allowed a 1/2 hour of tv a day and it was usually Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. Sometimes we got to watch half of Sesame Street if we were lucky!

Anyway, PBS has just put out a revamped version of Mister Rogers' Neighboorhood, but it is animated and called Daniel Tiger. There are the same opening and closing songs and philosophical and educational approach to the show.

Maia adores it and oftentimes I will hear her sing to Ruby "grownups come back" when I go running or "find a way to play together" when Ruby won't share.

And, of course, the girls' favorite puppet "Handy" (cousin to "Barfy") made a few appearances on the airplane.

(Barf bag puppet. Just be sure the bag is clean before sticking in your hand.)

Honestly, the actual traveling part of traveling is getting so much easier.

Now once our girls figure out how to be sweet, kind, non-screaming kids when they are tired, we'll be unstoppable!

Well, maybe not, but just happier and better rested.