Home improvements

As I've mentioned before, I spent a good part of the summer painting our house. The biggest job by far was our living space. My inspiration for the new decor came when my parents bought us a rug for Christmas. I've always like clean, modern lines, and the rug helped set the tone for what I wanted to do. I painted the room the same color that I've been painting the rest of the house: it's a light gray with blue undertones. Another impetus for change was our inheritance of a colleagues' record collection. We needed new shelves to store and display them all, so we bought a few pieces from IKEA that work very nicely. 

Unfortunately I didn't take any before pictures, I rarely do. I'm always too excited to jump in and get to work. I looked through my photo library and found some old pictures that were taken in the room. We have slightly moved the furniture around from time to time, but the feel of it generally stayed the same.

(Oh man. Look how cute and little they were!)

And here is our new living space!

While it looks like the small couch cuts off the space, it actually creates a cozy, warm feeling to the area.

I'm still looking to add decorations and pieces to the mantel and bookshelf. For now, I'm enjoying the cleanness of it all.

And you can see a bit of our new kitchen in the back. I'll be painting the walls and cabinets soon and once that is finished I'll post pictures. (I did take "before" photos of that one.)

Aleks' big home improvement contribution was the construction of a new playset for our backyard. The old one was already here when we moved in and was starting to get old, wobbly, and unsafe. At one of our first trips to the new Costco in town, we saw this playset on display and thought it was pretty cool. And then Nana offered to give it to Ruby for her birthday! The girls play on it all the time, as well as the neighbor kids. It took about a week to build, with Aleks working for 2-3 hours at a time. I must say, his swagger significantly increased when it was completed.

Here's the old set.


And the beautiful new one. The whole thing smelled wonderful the first week it was in our garage; all that cedar!

Now that Aleks has tenure, I've decided to make this house feel like a home. I think we're on our way!

Life after the first day of 1st grade

It turns out that life does go on after seeing your first born get on a bus headed for 1st grade. You go to the gym, dropping off and picking up one child instead of two. You make lunch and drive to work in peace and quiet. You attend some meetings, come home and then, finally, your six year old comes running off the bus, smiling, with an empty lunch box (whew, she ate!) and a full bladder.

It turns out that they do NOT play tug of war with your arms in first grade (Maia's only concern about school) and there is chocolate milk in the cafeteria alongside the regular milk. There are new friends and old friends and work that "wasn't too difficult."

It turns out that the younger sister didn't miss the older one as much as I thought she would. She was in the best of moods, happy that she could get Isabelle out of her crate every time and didn't have to take turns. She came to work with me, excited to meet a new baby sitter who knew about Rainbow Loom. Our car rides were void of chatter. So much so, that it made me think that I should make an effort to converse with my kid.

Hey Ruby, what are you thinking about?

What?

What are you thinking about?

What?!

(Maybe she can't hear me. I speak very slowly and clearly) What (pause) are you (pause) thinking about?

Thinking about what?!

What are you thinking about in your head?

Nothing!

...

Silence is nice too.

I'm not really one of those people who dwells on the past or gets too sentimental about memories. Living with babies was not my favorite. And taking care of babies is demanding and terrible. I didn't hate it, but as they get older everything becomes more fun and interesting. I find myself confused when I get a tight throat with tears threatening to spill out of my eyes over experiencing my first child be at school all day.

However, I suppose those early years of wiping butts, exhaustion, and non-stop care act as the strongest bonding agent imaginable to man. I mean, I kept something alive for 6 years, and she's actually flourishing! And now I have to entrust a good part of her development to someone I don't yet know.

That's a lot to ask of a parent. I can either let worry overtake and debilitate me, or I can take a deep breath, allow a few tears to roll down my cheeks and choose to trust that it will all work out. I've spent the last two weeks reminding myself that most children go to first grade all day and generally everyone survives.

Kids aren't ripped apart by tug of war. One carton of chocolate milk every school day won't be the end of the nutritional world. (But seriously, what the what?! Don't we have an obesity problem in America? Why don't they just offer milk or water?) And I'll learn to let go bit by bit. At the heart of the matter, it's not really about my child is it? It's about me and my desire for control over this messy thing we call life.

So the best I can do, from now until forever, is to send my child off with a hug and a reminder to be loving and kind. And let myself have a cry when I need it, trusting that they'll come running home, whole and happy.

Balance

For the better part of this summer, I've felt off balance. There's been the unending struggle of needing to rest and be rejuvenated, while dealing with periods of intense work. I think, I just might have bit off more than I could chew.

For one thing, there's this never-ending paint project. I've managed to paint 3 bedrooms and a major living space this summer, which is quite a lot, but there's still so much to finish. And what is it about freshly painted walls? It's like they suddenly become magnets to my children's limbs. I had no idea how often they put their feet on the walls. Their feet! And is it really necessary to drag both hands along the wall while they walk down the hall? I've taken to staring intently at certain spots in each room. Is that a shadow or a new smudge?

Obviously, out of balance.

I love what I do, professionally. One of the challenges is the constant opportunity-making that is inevitable to moving forward. This summer has been a season of planning and waiting. I'm very good at planning, but waiting has always been difficult for me. I've had to remind myself to take care of the things that I can control and to let go of the rest. It's a challenge for me to keep uncertainty from twisting itself into a tight coil in the center of my gut causing my heart to beat hard and fast in my chest.

Can you imagine what a mess I'd be if I didn't have a family to distract me from myself?

Thankfully I have two small, adorable monsters clambering for my attention the moment they wake up. This summer has marked a change in the household in that we are now a family with school age children. I think one of the biggest changes when your children have been going to school and are now home for the summer is that they want to eat all the time. We played the "mom can I have a snack?" game for about a week until I laid down the law: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner. I adore my children and love being around them and I also like my house to be neat and I like to drink a cup of coffee before having to speak to anyone in the morning.

It's all about balance. Ha!

Perhaps the thing that has most greatly affected my inner peace is the total chaos that has been our house. Part of it is a result from my insane drive to get all the painting done this summer. And redoing the upholstery on the bottom of all our couches since a certain little puppy chewed them up last summer hasn't helped either. Part of the chaos came when our upstairs AC was broken for the month of July and was basically off limits. In exciting, and related news, Aleks and I have decided to put granite countertops and a new backsplash in our kitchen. So, the chaos will continue for a few weeks more, but I've got my eye on the prize. The end is near.

Right around the corner is the start of school. I've always felt giddy anticipation about the first day of school. The year stretches ahead of us with sweaters and pumpkins edging closer every day. With school comes routine and structure, something my household thrives upon. Sure we're going to be busy again, but we've been busy all summer too. It'll just be a different busy. A busy I'm ready to welcome with open arms.

The start of school marks a new beginning, a fresh start. Maybe that's the real reason I'm always excited about school starting. It's a time to renew the oaths and truths I've let fall by the wayside while being distracted by the busyness of life.

However frustrating these periods of imbalance feel, I'm grateful for them. It is in these times that I grow patience, humor, endurance, and am enabled to experience the peace that will inevitably follow.

And maybe an uninterrupted cup of coffee?

When it rains, it pours

As I wrote in my last post, we had an AMAZING time in California. Regardless of how wonderful a time one has on a vacation, a person is always excited to go home and sleep in their own bed. There was no exception for Aleks and I as we drive home from the new Eisenhower Airport on Saturday evening, with visions of our king size bed dancing before our eyes.

We arrived home without incident, found our home and dog well taken care of by a student of mine, and climbed the stairs to get ready for bed. As we ascended the stairs, the heat hit us like a boiling hot, wet sock.

Our air conditioning was broken.

The unit that services our upstairs is an older unit and has given us problems for the last three years. To make a long, boring story short, our home warranty is replacing our condenser which will hopefully fix the problem for good.

The bad news? We're without AC until Tuesday at the earliest. That's over a week of 90+ degree temps in our bedrooms.

Thankfully, we have a place to sleep (that's not our house) that is cool. So, we pack an over night bag each night and head to my mother in law's house to sleep in the blissful, cool air.

Meanwhile, Aleks is gone for a week to an artists' colony and I've decided to move ahead with my painting project. I was going to paint the upstairs hallway next, which would complete the entire top floor, but since it's hotter than hell up there, I'm doing the family room instead. Which is actually not great timing, considering that the top floor is off limits, and now the main floor is a disaster, so the areas suitable for playing have been reduced by 2/3. Thankfully, the girls have adapted rather well.

This morning it took me 4 hours to prime the entire room. I'm hoping tomorrow the color will go more quickly.

I keep telling myself the chaos now will be worth it when it's all done. It really is going to look good.

So, that's what we've been dealing with since coming home. I just keep the memory of the cool, crisp San Francisco air close at hand.

Stay cool, my friends.

CA Summer Trip 2015

I love California. Maybe I've elevated it after having lived elsewhere for the last 12 years, but once I step out of the airport and breathe in that distinct Bay Area air, I'm home. It's like I can finally take a deep breath. More than any other place I've lived, Wichita suffocates me. The hot, humid summers can be debilitating. Everyone is always looking at everyone else with a nose in your business. It's a small town.

But in California, I just feel free. Sure, you might be stuck in traffic part of the time, but you can either look at the Bay or the mountains while you're waiting. Who needs a big house with a yard when you can be outside all year long? And the diversity! People, food, fashion, language...

I will never ever take our visits home for granted. I feel so grateful that I can regularly expose my children to life outside our midwest island. So when we go to CA, we hit it hard.

Even if it means getting up at 4 AM to catch a flight to paradise.

Can I just take a second to mention how much easier it is to travel with my kids this year? It's remarkable. The last two hurdles to a completely easy travel life are the boosters and Maia's unwillingness to try new foods. Once we've gotten over those, we're traveling internationally!

We spent some time with Aleks' dad in Oakland. We ate a bagel that actually tasted like a bagel. Not those powdery, light things you get in a grocery store in Kansas. A proper dense, chewy, flavorful bagel.

We experienced the Alameda county fair, where Aleks enjoyed a turkey leg. Unlike a good bagel, you can get those in Kansas.

These girls love their Gramps. Especially since he gave them Barbies. *cough, cough* Thanks Gramps.

We drove through the Caldecott tunnel quite often and Aleks told the girls if they could hold their breaths from one end to the other, a wish would come true. When David gave the girls their Barbies, Ruby said with wide eyes "my wish came true!"

We spent the 4th in Alameda and went to the Alameda parade, which was delightful and fun and everything a parade should be. Aleks' aunt and uncle drove up from LA to see us and it was really nice to have our girls get to know them better.

Maia has got some pretty funky moves.

My brother's band, Vinyl Station is the opener for the opener on the Rob Thomas national tour this summer. As they travelled through the Bay Area, my mother-in-law graciously agreed to house them for a couple of nights. We unexpectedly and happily ended up sharing the house, giving us some quality time with my brother and his band. We all grilled together on the evening of the 4th and were able to see the fireworks from Danni's backyard. It was a really fun night and I'm so so grateful to have had that time.

The next morning we went to brunch with my grandma and aunt and uncle who are all delightful and happy and healthy and whom we don't get to see nearly enough.

The older I get, the more and more I resemble this lovely lady.

We had a few hours to kill so Aleks and I decided to swing by the winery where we got married. It was still there! And looked smaller than we remembered. What is it about things like that? Maybe the largeness of the event grows the memory or perception of the reality. We left with two bottles of wine  and happy memories.

Then we jetted over to see my grandfather who let the girls swim in his gorgeous pool while we sat and talked.

He also amazed them with his trumpet. We might have a future trumpeter on our hands.

We slept for a little bit and the next day, when we woke up, Danni took us to the Boardwalk! I think the last time I went to the Boardwalk was in middle school with a church group and I couldn't decide who I had a crush on, James or his friend. And I laughed so hard on one of the rides that I peed a little. Ah, memories.

I had forgotten about the rings on the carousel. I could have ridden that thing all day trying to get the rings in the clown's mouth. I did manage to grab two rings on one pass several times. I felt like a teenager again.

We ended the day on the beach. As we were leaving Maia said "can we go to the beach everyday? but let's find one that doesn't get sand everywhere."

Our final big adventure we had was to ride across the Golden Gate Bridge on bikes. We did this last year and all agreed it was one of the best days of our lives.

This year was different, of course. It was still a wonderful day. There was fog and mist and less sun. Not that we minded one bit.

Both girls rode tagalongs, which meant no one had to drag a trailer behind them.

But then I decided that we should bike all the way to Tiburon. It was only lunchtime and when do we get to enjoy the Bay like this?

I should have doubled checked the mileage. We ended up biking 22 miles without sunscreen or water. We all had sore sit bones the next day and I ended up with a nasty sunburn on my back and hands.

It was still a magical day that was topped off by Maia pulling out a tooth!

We had a busy, marvelous time and yet didn't get to see a fraction of the family and friends that we would have liked to visit. I could have spent a few more days at the beach too.

Now we're back in Kansas, where the sky is big, the houses are affordable, and the traffic is non-existent. I'll be dreaming about our California adventures for the rest of the summer.

Father's Day 2015

It's Father's Day! I'm so very lucky to be married to a man who is a wonderful father AND to have and a wonderful father myself. I thought I'd ask my kids some things about their dad.

Here are Maia's answers:
What makes Dad happy?
When we cuddle him
What is Dad's job?
A composer
What's something special about Dad?
He is kind and cute
How are you and Dad the same?
We're both picky eaters
How are you different?
I have blue eyes, dad has brown eyes
What is Dad's favorite thing about you?
I'm not sure. Well, I'm pretty sure it's loving
Where does Dad like to go?
Subway
If Dad was a cartoon character, who would he be?
Shining Armor
What does Dad like the most about Mom?
They're husband and wife
What's your favorite thing about Dad?
He loves us

And Ruby's:
What makes Daddy happy?
When he gives us some love
What is Daddy's job?
He works at WSU
What's something special about Daddy?
I don't know. When he roller skates with us.
How are you and Daddy the same?
Well we both have brown eyes.
How are you different?
I have curly hair, but I have love hair. Daddy has curly hair too, but shorter curly hair.
What is Daddy's favorite thing about you?
I don't know.
Where does Daddy like to go?
Starbucks
If Daddy was a cartoon character, who would he be?
Nothing. Or maybe he would be Night Shining, blah, blah.
What does Daddy like most about Mommy?
Because they're in love.
What's your favorite thing about Daddy?
He loves me.


And I thought I'd answer some about my dad:

What makes Dad happy?
When his children are happy and thriving, when he's watching tv specials about history, when he's singing in the Phoenix Symphony Chorale, when he's reading a good book, or when he's enjoying the Bay Area summer weather.
What is Dad job?
He helps people to worship God through music and care taking. He is also a handyman, cook, pool boy, and resident IT guy.
What's something special about Dad?
He can fix anything
How are you and Dad the same?
We are both seemingly logical and somewhat stoic, but are actually quite sensitive.
How are you different?
He has a never-ending faith in the church at large.
What is Dad's favorite thing about you?
This is a hard one. Maybe my independence and attitude about life?
Where does Dad like to go?
Anywhere that is a change of pace from day to day life. And it's especially great if family is there.
If Dad was a cartoon character, who would he be?
Batman. He's just a normal, handsome guy to most people, but those who know him well, know that he cares deeply about justice and keeping everyone safe.
What does Dad like most about Mom?
Her boobs. Just kidding. Sort of. I think he likes her partnership and everyday support.
What's your favorite thing about Dad?
I love what a good listener he is and his ability to be in the moment.

Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. Your children are grateful for all you do for us, physically and emotionally. Giving you all our love.

The start of summer: I'd give it a B+

It's been ages since I've sat down to write and life has been full during my online absence.

Once classes at the university were over, I immediately started painting. Judging from the paint cans in our basement (left by the previous owners) it's been 7 years since any room has been painted. Now that Aleks has tenure, it's time to take some ownership of this house and I'm hoping to paint the entire interior within this year. Summer is a good time to get a lot of it done.

I painted our bedroom in the fall and in the last month have completed the remaining upstairs bedrooms. We decided to move Ruby into the craft room and so for a week our house was in total chaos. My timing is really something. I finished putting together the two rooms the day I left for Washington.

The old craft room/color.

New color/Ruby's room.

Ruby's old room (with the old color) about 3 years ago before the big girl bed.

New color/craft room/office.

At the end of May I headed to the tri-cities in Washington to sing with the Mid Columbia Symphony. I got to sing my first Beethoven 9 and Bruckner Psalm 150. My friend Nick Wallin conducts the orchestra and does an amazing job getting a high quality performance with just a week of rehearsals. It was a thrilling experience to sit on stage in front of the orchestra and hear such a masterpiece in this way. Not only was it a rewarding musical experience, but I also met some extraordinarily warm and lovely people.

It also didn't hurt that there are some beautiful wineries and wine in the area.

The week I got back the girls attended princess camp, which was basically an introduction to ballet and tap classes, while learning to be princess-y. Or whatever. Obviously, because they are a typical 4 and 6 year old, they loved it.

Personally, I couldn't get enough of their leotards and buns.

The week ended in a coronation, so just FYI, Maia and Ruby are real princesses now.

And when everyone played freeze dance, they wasted no time finding each other to waltz together. It makes me so happy to know they will always have a dance partner.

Our transition into summer hasn't been seamless. The girls were absolute terrors the first two weeks: not listening, sassy, and disobedient. It wasn't fun. Thankfully, the past week has been much better. They've remembered how to play together and be respectful and find a rhythm in our less structured days. We've been able to spend some time at the pool and have made lots of trips to the library. Maia is devouring the Junie B. Jones books.

If you listen to the national news, I'm sure you've caught wind of the mess Kansas is in right now. I read this article, which I feel is easy to read and sums things up nicely. My emotional welfare is not usually affected by politics, but I've found myself feeling quite sad this past week.

On Thursday my grandfather was flown out on an honor flight to DC to be honored for his service in WWII. My aunt Annie was able to go with him and posted this on her instagram account:

I admit that I come from a long line of educators and may be biased, but my heart just breaks over the respect and treatment our teachers and schools receive here in Kansas. Not to mention the poor and lower middle class. Something has to change. I'm confident it won't be this way forever, but it sure doesn't make the humid midwest summer any easier to stomach.

A silver lining is that the girls and I are headed to Arizona next week to see my family and soak up some sun in the pool. Be warned: I'm sure my social media will be flooded with pictures of my girlies with their cousins. It's gonna be cute!

Here's hoping your summer is off to a great start!