Thirteen!

A few month ago we were all in the car and Maia said "Mom, explain to Ruby what 69 means."

Taken aback, Aleks and I looked at each other and said "wait, do you know what it means?"

Maia said, "Yeah! Well, no, I mean, I know it's a funny number like 420."

I think that probably sums up the 7th grade pretty well.

   

When I was pregnant with Maia I remember thinking, "I just hope she isn't boring." Well, we have been everything but bored for the past 12 years.

Today my oldest becomes an official teenager, that coveted age for most girls, 13. I feel like we've entered a time warp; the next 5 years are going to fly by.

We have asked a lot of Maia this year. It's been challenging for everyone. Her stable and predictable life was upended right in the middle of a physically and emotionally tumultuous time.

Throughout all the change, Maia's humor and steadfastness has remained in tact. It's been an honor to watch her grow and navigate all that comes her way.

 

My darling girl has an unyielding sense of justice. She is a fiercly loyal friend and sister (unless you enter her room without asking for permission). Maia continues to be a voracious reader and takes at least 2 books to school with her each day. She has a quirky sense of humor and is learning comedic timing.

We just love this kid of ours. If you know her, you probably do, too.

Happy 13th birthday Maia! 

Twelve!

One year ago we planned a birthday party for Maia, including an escape room at the public library. It was the first birthday party we'd hosted for several years and everyone was excited. And then, in the middle of March, the nation closed down and we scrambled to make her celebration special in a new way.

True to character, Maia was disappointed, but rebounded quickly. Her sunny disposition has been extraordinary during this trying year. When the kids' school went remote, I never had to worry about her making it to virtual class and staying on top of her work.

This year, when Aleks and I went to work full time, Maia handled her first year of middle school during this pandemic with astonishing maturity and responsibility. Every other day she was home alone, logging into each of her classes on zoom, managing the different digital platforms, and navigating the elevated expectations that come with middle school.

She has made a new, sweet friends and we're so grateful she has found her people. Middle school is such a crazy, intense time.

As Maia enters this next year of life, we are constantly delighted by her curiosity, strong feminine ideals, quirky personality, and willingness to help our family in any way she can.

Maia is as strong as she is soft. Serious and silly. Loves parties and friends, yet is an introvert.

Happy 12th birthday Maia! 

Those challenging first 9 months of your life were totally worth it. 

This world is a better place because you are in it. 

We love you.

Turning 11 in 2020 is a mood

Today Maia is 11.

She's been excited for a whole year because finally, her birthday is on a Saturday. Little did we know that the entire world would be shut down this year. In typical optimistic Maia fashion, she's found something to be happy about; she can sleep in on her birthday!

This firstborn of mine is such a gift to our family. She is easy going, quick to adapt to disappointment, and has the strongest moral compass of anyone I know.

She loves school, the library, and books with an astonishing fierceness.

She HATES being teased and views it as a personal affront.

Maia is excited for middle school next year and I think she's going to thrive. Although, this kid thrives anywhere you put her. Online learning? No problem! Libraries closed? (Ok, that one caused tears) She'll make do with the digital library!

Each passing day I see glimpses of the young woman Maia will be, and yet she hasn't quite crossed that border; one foot is still firmly planted in childhood.

I can't wait to see what this year will bring for my girl. Whatever it is, I know Maia will handle it with kindness, optimism, and humor.

Happy birthday, my sweet girl!

Double Digits!

10 years ago today a very loud, dark haired baby made me a mom. 

It took 2 inductions (neither of which worked) and a c-section to get her into the world. If I had known that she would scream at me for the next 8 months, I would not have complained about her lateness.

It's so strange to remember what a difficult baby she was in the beginning. Everyone would tell me to feed her more, or co-sleep, or sleep train, or give her a bottle, or just let her nurse all day long. They didn't understand that she a) didn't sleep and b) she liked to scream. Some call it colic. Whatever it was, it wasn't fun.

But then, she said her first word at 6 months; pointed at the duck on Aleks' shirt and said "duck." 

And weaned herself at eight months (oh, hello Ruby). 

And then we had another baby in the house (one that actually slept and behaved like a normal newborn) and Maia was a non-stop chatter bug, having given up the screams for an extensive vocabulary.

Ten years ago.

Man, how is it that I'm still 27 and have a 10 year old?

(ok, maybe she did sleep a little bit)

Obviously, I don't know differently, but that challenging beginning as a parent, that baptism by fire, was probably just what I needed. A full immersion experience/life is turned upside down/you'll function on 4 hours of sleep a night for 8 months/nothing like what you expected start to parenthood.

Oh, but the young lady my daughter is becomming- it's a beautiful thing to watch.

My 10 year old girl still talks up a storm. She is constantly using words she's read in books, but doesn't quite know how to pronounce. And speaking of books, she told me she's read all the books in her school's library.

She is weird, in the best possible way. 

Earnest and ethical.

Kind. Thoughtful. Has a great sense of humor.

She experiences life with all her senses. Her room looks like a bomb went off and yet she knows where each earring back/rock/bookmark is located.

She brings light to our family.

Happy birthday, my dearest. Those first 8 months were so worth it.

New Roles

It's the last week of August. The kids have been in school for 2 weeks and I'm finally starting to recover from our long, intense summer.

Headed into fall, we are all trying on new roles. Aleks is the new Director of the School of Music at WSU. This new position is something he wanted quite a lot and for which he is very well suited. As his partner, it's exciting and fun to watch him overcome challenges and put into practice so many of his leadership skills.

Maia is now a 4th grader. She is taking on more responsibility by singing in an extracurricular choir, continuing with piano lesson, and taking acro jazz. There is more responsibility and independence in her classroom this year and we're working to expand that into our home life as well.

Ruby is in 2nd grade. She just started competitive soccer and is getting adjusted to the intensity of practices and games. Turns out, I'm one of those parents who yells a lot from the sidelines. And it turns out I know nothing about soccer. After a summer of violin lessons, she's back into piano and showing marked maturity about practicing so far.

For many different reasons (a major one being Aleks' new job which demands more traditional work hours) I have stepped into the role of CEO of household management. After two weeks of stay-at-home work, I am once again struck with what a luxury it is to have a partner who is able to manage all the household affairs. Of course, because I'm me, I'm still working 3 other part time jobs, but I've reduced my private teaching by about 2/3, which leaves me more time to take care of the family.

Now that I have time, one of the things I've taken over are the interactions with our insurance agent, contractor (we're remodeling our bathroom, but more on that another time), piano tuner, auto mechanic, etc.

Which leads me to say: salesMEN of Wichita, y'all are going to have to figure out a different way to interact with this strong, independent woman. Your "hey there little lady" mentality is not going to cut it. And when I call you for clarifications on policies, I am not a "deeply concerned woman." Rather I'm an intelligent customer who is irritated that she has to take time out of her day to get clarification on a matter that should have been explained during our hour long meeting last week. And when I'm matter of fact on the phone and don't want to chat about nonsense, I'm not angry or rude, I've just got stuff to do.

Is this a midwest thing? I don't feel like I was treated this way other places I've lived...

Now that I'm not drowning in work, I'm hoping to resume some of my creative projects. One of them includes writing here on a more consistent basis. Another is that I'm hoping to record another season of our podcast, "What Makes."

I hope your fall is off to a good start and that whether you're working in the home or outside the home, you are finding time to be creative and fulfilled!

Another school year in the books

It's the last day of the school year!

I'm sure teachers are looking at summer vacation with visions of bathroom breaks whenever they need them, reading for pleasure, and later bedtimes.

I'm sure my kids are looking at summer vacation with visions of afternoons at the pool, frozen yogurt for dinner, and endless play time.

I'm looking at the summer months a bit more realistically. I'm sure the girls will be asking for snacks every 30 minutes and I know there will be significant amounts of bickering in the beginning. However, I'm also looking forward to hanging out with my girls, saying yes as much as possible, and reconnecting as a family.

(Side note, both my kids bought recorders at the music store yesterday, so there's that...)

This year has been so good for Ruby. I've seen her grow in confidence and bravery. I'm most proud of the way she faced some anxiety filled events and proved to herself that she is capable of doing really hard things.

(She's upset at me this morning because her teacher said not to bring anything in their backpacks today, but I put her lunch in there. We're not sure about the hot lunch situation on this last day, so I decided we should play it safe and send one. This is a perfect example of her tendency toward anxiety.)

Maia also had a great year. She's grown emotionally and is starting to form real friendships with some kids at school. She was a classroom representative on Student Council and we saw her demonstrate a real passion for this job.

At the end of this school year, more than ever, I see the age difference between my girls. Maia is starting to think about puberty and is dealing with more social conflicts than in the past. Ruby is still a "little" girl and always wants Maia to play catch or Life or dolls. More often than not, Maia would rather spend time alone.

They are so close in age, they've always been built-in playmates. The dynamic has shifted a bit and we'll all be figuring out how to navigate this new place.

I'm picking up the girls today from school so that we can give their teachers a small token of our gratitude. I'm feeling the loss that comes at the end of a chapter. I'm so enormously grateful to the women who shepherded their classrooms this year. They held my girls in kindness and love, while keeping them to high standards.

These women saw my kids more than I did some weeks and there are not adequate words to describe my gratitude for their commitment to helping raise smart, responsible, kind kids.

Cheers to the start of summer!

Maia is 9!

I walked to baggage claim yesterday, having finally arrived home after 2 1/2 weeks on the road, and there was my gorgeous family waiting with rib crushing hugs.

To my astonishment, it looked like Maia had grown 2 inches since I last saw her. Her blonde head is almost above my shoulder now, and at this point, she's all legs.

And today, my darling first born is 9.

Let me tell you about my girl Maia.

She is wonderfully quirky. Her vocabulary is extensive and well beyond her years. Yesterday she was talking about picking up donuts before school and said "we should probably set off around 7:30." Earlier this week she was complaining about practicing the same pieces over and over, she told Aleks "I'm just trying to be a faithful daughter!"

Her teachers and others have told me that talking to her is like talking to an adult.

I know her vocabulary comes from her love of reading. This girl almost always has her nose in a book. Sometimes she'll bring a book to the school lunch room, in case she gets bored. Most recently she been into Wings of Fire, a series about dragons.

And while her vocabulary indicates an older mind, she is still very young emotionally. She is well liked by all her classmates, but doesn't seem to have very many close friends. And honestly, it's probably because she reads so much. She spends more time reading than interacting with classmates.

But I'm not worried. I think she'll continue to figure it all out.

This year, more than ever, I see the transition from girl to young woman looming on the horizon. Maia has started testing out some sassiness and eye rolling. Mostly, we find it entertaining, Maia included. I suppose I'll have to address her attitude if it gets worse, but for now, I appreciate her exploration and emerging independence.

Some of Maia's likes:
Books, dragons, Harry Potter, pancakes (yes, still), laughing, swimming, gymnastics, her sister (most of the time), and purses/accessories.

Some of Maia's dislikes:
Blood, most foods (including pizza and mac and cheese), and wearing a jacket to school. Honestly, she's a pretty easy kid.

Maia is hugely empathetic and kind. For now she says she wants to be a scientist and help preserve plants and animals. I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up doing that! I could also see her doing some kind of social justice work or as a civil servant.

It's a privilege to be her mom and be a part of her journey.

Happy Birthday, sweet girl.

My crazy family

It was one of those weekends, in which I had to work Saturday (not typical) and Sunday (typical). Thankfully our family was able to connect at dinner Saturday night and I caught up on the events of the day.

There are so very many reasons why I love my husband. One of them is that he likes to grocery shop and assumes that responsibility most Saturdays. We usually sit down on Friday night or early Saturday morning, plan the menu for the week, and create our shopping list. We've been doing this for 8 years and it has saved us so much time and money. In an attempt to be the most efficient with our budget, he ends up going to 3 different grocery stores. Aleks has the routine down to a science and it usually takes about 2 hours to get it all done. Without kids, that is.

This weekend, Aleks had to take the girls with him, which everyone dreads. To give them an incentive, he usually promises them a Costco treat if they are helpful. And sometimes, it means making things interesting during travel time.

Ruby started the story.

In the car between grocery stores, Aleks told them they could cuss, just this once, and he wouldn't get mad.

Ruby's eyes lit up as she remembered the event: "Do you know what he said?! The F-U word!"

Then Aleks chimes in "so, Ruby, what did you say?"

"The F-U word" she says with a little grin on her face.

But apparently, they couldn't pressure Maia into cussing. She just wouldn't do it.

And at that moment, as we're finishing out last bites of chicken, she points an accusing finger around the table and says "YEAH, because I'm the only Christian here!"

Aleks and I just about died from laughter. I love being a part of this family.

Today Maia and I talked some more about that whole event. I didn't talk with her about the fact that "sin is sin" and cussing once in awhile is just as bad as not always demonstrating loving behavior towards her sister and maybe I should have gone there, but instead I chose to focus on the fact that I love her strong morals and that she needs to be careful that she doesn't judge other people who are different.

"Ruby and I aren't different," she told me, "I just have very strong opinions about saying bad words."

And those strong opinions are one of the very things I love most about her.

You might think her strong convictions and inclinations toward faith come from living in such a conservative, evangelical part of the country. However, Aleks and I certainly don't reinforce those cultural influences and the church we attend is one of the rare non-judge-y communities in this area. Instead, it's just who she is. I suppose it's built into her DNA. (And maybe, just maybe her mom might have been like that when she was younger. Maybe.)

Monday is my day off. It's a day for me to catch up on housework and paperwork and loose ends at work. It's a day that I don't have to put on makeup. The girls don't have school today, so we're using it as a time for us to reconnect as well. Lots of Lego playing and a trip to the trampoline park while I try to catch up best I can. Maybe we'll watch some Olympics later.

These days I'm particularly aware of how grown my children have become and how different our lives look compared to our first years here in Wichita. The wind still keeps us up at night and we still can't grocery shop at Trader Joe's, but things are comfortable and easy here in the middle.

Mommy/daughter dates

A few years ago, our family started the tradition of having mommy/daughter dates in the weeks before school begins. My girls are so close in age, that they do everything together and sometimes I forget who they are as individuals. We all love these special days.

My girls are so funny. When we were talking as a family about what each girl wanted to do, they would both decide that they wanted to do the same things. However, once I had Ruby alone and gave her some options, our plans changed.

We went to All Start Sports which has carnival rides and mini golf. Ruby had never played before, but quickly got the hang of it and by the end of our second round, she was having a hard time waiting for me to get my ball in the hole.

Ruby has matured a lot this summer. She's still my fiery little peanut, especially when she doesn't understand something, but she's learning to communicate with words instead of tantrums and outbursts are becoming less frequent. She's at that wonderful age where she's not too self aware and as a result is unintentionally cute. The other day she said "You know what? Every year I get one year older!" 

Ruby is going to have a strong start to 1st grade. Her reading skills are quite good and she will often read in the morning before coming to get us out of bed. However, if you ask her if she likes reading, she'll say no. Ruby is a little fish in the water and learned how to dive this summer. She is often playing the piano, making up pieces to play and shows a real sensitivity to sound and color. She also says she doesn't like playing piano.

Ruby is the spice in our family; she adds flavor, dimension, and interest.

Once Maia heard that Ruby went to All Star Sports, that's where she wanted to go as well. Over lunch I suggested pedicures, Barnes & Noble, and ice cream. Maia immediately thought that was a great idea. I was excited not to stomach those rides again.

(Maia just whispered in my ear "Ruby has to learn that I can't spend every moment with her." I think they're ready for the autonomy school will bring.)

This summer Maia has been reading, reading, reading. She'll come down in the morning and lie on the couch with a book while Isabelle licks her legs. I don't know what it is about Maia, but Isabelle LOVES licking her.

Maia continues to be my even keeled kid. She's rarely moody, but just this summer has started to become a little secretive. I understand that blossoming need for privacy and hope I'm respecting it in the way she needs.

Maia is beyond excited to start school. She loves learning, which is something I will never take for granted. At this point she's interested in becoming the first scientist of the family, something of which Aleks and I are very supportive. Maia loves facts and is great at "mansplaining" things. For example, she's explained to us that people in China don't know what chocolate is and that our dog is the smallest in the world because she's a Chihuahua.

Today we were driving in the car and she had her arm sticking out the window. Maia said "I can tell this wind is from Mexico because we're driving south." We were in fact driving west and there was only a wind because the car was moving. I pointed this all out to my darling daughter and she thought for a bit and then confidently replied "Well, the wind is from the east. It's from some eastern part of  America."

Maia is the sugar in our family; she makes everything sweeter with her energy and infectious smile.

I keep reminding myself that this week I will need extra patience. As excited as we all are for routine and new beginnings, inevitably these changes come with some tension. However, all signs are pointing toward a wonderful school year.

Great Bake Off: Showstopper

I know you've all been waiting with bated breath for our final Sternfeld-Dunn Bake Off challenge and a proclaimed winner.

Life became extremely busy and we kept putting off our final challenge. Honestly, I wasn't hopeful that we would actually get it done.

However, my mother in law had a birthday last week and we figured we'd take the opportunity to celebrate her with two "chocolate cakes that show off our chocolate work" while we are visiting.

The girls were very hopeful that our cake creations would take the shape of something other than cake. Knowing my limits, I decided to attempt a vase made of layer cake, with gum paste flowers coming out the top.

I decided to make cake balls out of the scraps and use as decorations.

The candy melts were ok for coating the cake pops, but I think the ones dipped in regular melted chocolate looked prettier.

I experimented with gum paste for the first time and definitely need more practice.

The final product doesn't really look like a vase, but by the end I was so over the entire project and more stressed than the experience merited that I'm just happy it didn't fall over.

The girls kept saying "it looks like the leaning tower of Pisa!"

Aleks made an "ice cream truffle" using layers of cake, ice cream, whipped cream, and ganache. He also made chocolate leaves from a mold.

The girls were very specific that they needed to taste every component.

The inside does look pretty and you can see where I attempted a crumb layer of frosting.

The inside of Aleks' was very pretty too.

The girls took their judging very seriously and took one bite of everything before moving to a different room to confer.

After much deliberation and heated debate, they came back and declared me the winner! Danni, was very diplomatic and said they both tasted and looked good.

So to recap:

Signature Challenge- Emily
Technical Challenge- Aleks
Showstopper Challenge- Emily

Overall best person/baker/champion of everything- Emily

Maia has decided that this will be an annual challenge. Aleks thinks we should do meat next year...

The Great Sternfeld-Dunn Bake Off

A few months ago I became a fan of the Great British Baking Show and binged on season 2 through Netflix.

And then one day a few weeks ago I was feeling run down, needed a break from my demanding children, and so I suggested we watch an episode of the show all together.  A special treat because TV! and it's an hour long! The girls loved it.

As a family we've watched a total of three episodes and just last week Maia had an idea that the two parents should have a bake off. I mean, it's a total no-brainer. Who wouldn't love to be a judge of baked goods? They came up with challenges and presented them for our approval.

Signature challenge: French pastry (we talked them out of making puff, I'm not ready for that)

Technical challenge: chocolate macarons

Showstopper: chocolate cake and as Maia said "it needs to show off your chocolate work."

For the first challenge I decided to make chocolate eclairs. Instead of filling them with pasty cream, I used chocolate whipped cream because I know my judges and I know they wouldn't like pastry cream and I wanted to win.

Filling them was a bit harder than I anticipated. Having the correct tools is essential and I think I needed to use a thinner and longer tip in my piping bag (the middles aren't filled with cream).

Aleks made a crepe filled with nutella.

The girls had a friend over to play that day, so she got to be one of the judges as well.

Unsurprisingly to me, the girls voted that my eclairs were the winner. I mean, I am basically the baker in the family. Although, anything with Nutella is pretty divine.

Two days later we had the technical challenge. Now in the real show, the judges are supposed to provide the recipe, while leaving out a few critical instructions. However, the girls couldn't find a recipe in the cookbooks we already had, so I found one online for us to use.

So. Chocolate macarons. I had made macarons one time before. On this day, Aleks had made his macarons while I was out, and so I came home to see them cooling on the stove top.

There was definitely a bit of pressure as the day was almost over and I needed to get them done. Because I listen to the advice given by Paul Hollywood, I know that resting time for macarons are important.

Instead of baking the sheet trays one at a time, I decided to put them both in and just rotate the pans halfway through. When they came out, I thought they looked pretty good, even if they hadn't risen too well. I'm thinking I over mixed them.

Well, womp womp. They were totally under baked and wouldn't come off the parchment paper easily. I think first of all, that I piped my macarons too big. I should have taken the time to draw equal sized circles on my parchment so that I would have a guide while piping. I think my second mistake was putting both trays in the oven at once. I suppose recipes have instructions for a reason.

The macarons were filled with chocolate ganache. Aleks and I decided to half the recipe, since we only had so much chocolate to melt. The directions said to stick the ganache in the fridge for a half hour and then it would be solidified enough to spread on the cookies. Well, mine was in the fridge for close to an hour and it was still liquid. It was at that point I realized I had only halved the chocolate for the ganache, not the cream or butter.

I was ready to throw in the towel and admit defeat, but Aleks made me put something on the plate.

So, as you might guess, Aleks won the technical challenge. Ruby felt really bad that I didn't win and told me several times that she had to go along with Maia's choice. Bless her little heart.

I'm currently in WI for a performance at the IDRS conference this week, so our show stopper challenge will have to wait until I get back. Ruby is really hoping for a chocolate bear on one of our cakes. I've got a few days to plan something that will knock their socks off.

It's a cliff hanger... who will be crowned the winner?!

Stay tuned.