Twelve!

It's that time of year again; the streets in our neighborhood are packed with cars of students at the university finding free parking. The start of school usually means cool mornings and warm days. The kids come through the door, sweaty from the bus and walk home.

The beginning of the school year also means Ruby's birthday. It's a month filled with promise and possibilities. 

Ruby's birth was a quick affair, a planned cesarean, in which so many things went wrong. The anesthesiologist had a hard time getting my spinal in; he kept hitting nerve endings, making me jump. When he finally got it in the correct spot, the epidural hit and my blood pressure dropped quickly; I threw up and almost passed out. Then, during the surgery, it was discovered that a large group of veins had formed under my previous c-section scar and when the doctor went to cut Ruby out, I started bleeding. A lot. They had to pull Ruby out very quickly and work to get the bleeding under control. As a result, Ruby had a hard time breathing on her own and spent the first 8 hours of her life hooked up to oxygen in the nursery. Of course, I couldn't walk to go see her in the nursery, due to the epidural, so had to rely on stories and pictures from Aleks.

Needless to say, when they finally brought her to my room, I cuddled Ruby on my chest and we remained that way until discahrged. That time in the hospital was dreamy. I had a sweet, sleepy newborn on my chest, nurses to bring me food, no dishes or laundry to do, and my toddler at home was being cared for.

It took Ruby two and a half years to find her voice. After a colicky first born, I thought I had hit the jackpot with a baby that actually didn't cry all the time. Joke was on me; she was just biding her time. We had a tough couple of years figuring each other out, but eventually got there and learned how to communicate effectively.

The thing is, Ruby just feels everything deeply. And when she's feeling something, she wants you to feel that way too. Ruby has taught me that I can't help people unless they want to be helped. She reminds me that even though responsible, mature people can handle a lot, it doesn't mean they should be expected to. 

Today Ruby turns 12. She got curtain bangs before school started and is wearing jeans instead of leggings. She is playing cello in the 6th grade orchestra and continues to play piano. She is passionate and kind. Responsible and disciplined. Funny and smart. To know Ruby is to love her.

Happy birthday dearest girl! The world is a brighter place because of you.

Thirteen!

A few month ago we were all in the car and Maia said "Mom, explain to Ruby what 69 means."

Taken aback, Aleks and I looked at each other and said "wait, do you know what it means?"

Maia said, "Yeah! Well, no, I mean, I know it's a funny number like 420."

I think that probably sums up the 7th grade pretty well.

   

When I was pregnant with Maia I remember thinking, "I just hope she isn't boring." Well, we have been everything but bored for the past 12 years.

Today my oldest becomes an official teenager, that coveted age for most girls, 13. I feel like we've entered a time warp; the next 5 years are going to fly by.

We have asked a lot of Maia this year. It's been challenging for everyone. Her stable and predictable life was upended right in the middle of a physically and emotionally tumultuous time.

Throughout all the change, Maia's humor and steadfastness has remained in tact. It's been an honor to watch her grow and navigate all that comes her way.

 

My darling girl has an unyielding sense of justice. She is a fiercly loyal friend and sister (unless you enter her room without asking for permission). Maia continues to be a voracious reader and takes at least 2 books to school with her each day. She has a quirky sense of humor and is learning comedic timing.

We just love this kid of ours. If you know her, you probably do, too.

Happy 13th birthday Maia! 

Season's Greetings from us to you

Eleven!

This year, I finally learned the lesson that Ruby has been trying to teach me her whole life. 

It's ok for her to feel all her feelings.

I think it took me 11 years to learn this lesson because the intensity of Ruby's feelings is quite powerful. It goes against all instinct to allow her fire to burn without trying to put it out.

Once I stopped looking at the fire and instead, into the source, I see that the fire hasn't consumed her. In fact, it's refining her into an amazing young woman.

This has been a big year for her, for us all. COVID, a big move, new everything. I'm humbled by her maturity and ability to be uncomfortable. Granted, she's not always quiet about the discomfort, but she doesn't run away from it.

Happy 11th birthday, my darling. 

I love getting to know you better and better each year.

Twelve!

One year ago we planned a birthday party for Maia, including an escape room at the public library. It was the first birthday party we'd hosted for several years and everyone was excited. And then, in the middle of March, the nation closed down and we scrambled to make her celebration special in a new way.

True to character, Maia was disappointed, but rebounded quickly. Her sunny disposition has been extraordinary during this trying year. When the kids' school went remote, I never had to worry about her making it to virtual class and staying on top of her work.

This year, when Aleks and I went to work full time, Maia handled her first year of middle school during this pandemic with astonishing maturity and responsibility. Every other day she was home alone, logging into each of her classes on zoom, managing the different digital platforms, and navigating the elevated expectations that come with middle school.

She has made a new, sweet friends and we're so grateful she has found her people. Middle school is such a crazy, intense time.

As Maia enters this next year of life, we are constantly delighted by her curiosity, strong feminine ideals, quirky personality, and willingness to help our family in any way she can.

Maia is as strong as she is soft. Serious and silly. Loves parties and friends, yet is an introvert.

Happy 12th birthday Maia! 

Those challenging first 9 months of your life were totally worth it. 

This world is a better place because you are in it. 

We love you.

Pandemic Check-in; Day ???

This week in Wichita, temps are stuck below freezing and it's not projected to warm up anytime soon.

I feel like I'm living in a loop. Wake up in the dark, work in a room without windows, come home to chores and dinner as it gets dark before we eat. Then fall asleep in front of the tv and do it all again 8 hours later.

This Groundhog Day effect is something I've come to expect this time of year, but add 10 months of a pandemic prior to the winter doldrums, and it just hits differently.

Our whole family got COVID the week after Thanksgiving (no idea where it was contracted: we've all fully recovered, and didn't expose anyone else) and so we've got antibodies to protect us through March. While chances are we're immune from the virus for 90 days, we may still be able to carry trace amounts and infect other people and so our pandemic lifestyle remains largely unchanged.

One of the only things keeping me going this winter is my husband. He just lights up a room, bringing energy back into this wintery void. For whatever reason, the pandemic has made us closer, when it so easily could have gone the other way.

I'm also grateful for our ability to cook good food at home, a large house that gives us all get the space we need, a steady job, and a middle schooler who is responsible enough to handle remote/hybrid learning.

Be it the pandemic, or winter, or something yet to be defined, the Sternfeld-Dunn family is itching for a change. I don't think a remodeled bathroom is going to do it this time. I've been patient before. Dreamed of change. Looked through Zillow. I'm familiar with this feeling. It never gets easier.

However, maybe because of this past year, I know now, more than ever, I can be content anywhere. Especially because of my weird, funny, loving little family.

Double Digits!

Sweet and spicy Ruby is now 10. 

Double digits. 

"A tween," she told me.

She continues to amaze me with her musicianship in everything she does; playing the piano, singing, dancing.

Despite being bit by a dog this year and getting 5 stiches, she still loves them and sleeps with our dog, Isabelle, every night.

Ruby has an amazing sense of style and has firm opinions about what she, and the rest of the family, wears. I can always count on her for honest feedback.

Ruby also has a great sense of humor. 

She did us all proud at the school spelling bee. I was a nervous wreck and I can imagine how she must have felt, but Ruby worked through those nerves and did so well. (The cat ears probably helped.)

Ruby, you are so special. I love getting to know you better each year and watch you grow into an amazing  young lady. Your kind heart, passionate opinions, and deep feelings are your super powers.

Happy birthday Ruby Ann!

P.S. Here's what we did during quarentine, when being home felt new and exciting and we were ready to be creative. You might have already seen this, but it's worth another view!